Sorry that for littering forum. I posted this text in "introduce yourself" section, but it seems my post is more relevant here
Hi guys!
I am from Estonia, 24 years old MA-student. Soon will graduate and go on with life. Couple of years (2010) ago I broke up with my girlfriend, she was from "money-cheese-knives-watches etc." country. So it led me to the depression and heavy drinking. My friends didnt recognize me anymore
(remark: we were in long-distance relationship and we visited each other at least every 1-2 months. In the end we broke up because distance was too much for me and I became more and more controlling, so she broke up)
At some point, when I felt "thats enough", I ended drinking and I started looking for new girls. But somehow I wasnt enough good to score (sometimes I did, but not as much as I wanted). Randomly I heard about Neil Strauss and his "The Game" book. So what I did... of course I went to shop and bought the book. I was done wtih reading, lets say, in 2 evenings.
And then it started... I met indescribable amount of girls, and I had "fun" with some of them. I must be honesy with myself - I wasnt playing game for sex or so, it was more to fulfill my communication needs towards opposite sex. And without any exaggeration, Game worked well. I dont know is it common among PUA's or not, but at some poing I got tired of game and moved back to "normal life". Some time later I met another girl and few months later we were together. Half year later we broke up. We both understood that we were too different and there were no future for us. At least she was 8of10 babe and I had my best thrills with this girl. We are still friends (no sex!)
But now I move to the main story. Few months after brake up with "8of10 babe", wrote my ex from Switzerland (2011). It was such a friendly talk, but soon she told me that she wants to visit Estonia and meet me. Since she still were in my heart I wanted to meet her. So she came for few days and main reason why she visited me: she wanted to apologize and try to start again. Well I told her that I am not able to handle distance and it will ride me crazy, so it wont work. However we were close friends, something between firends and couple. Next spring (2012) she told me, couple of weeks before, that she is going to visit me again. No shit, of course I wanted to see her. And then it happened. As soon as we met in the airport, her first words were: "Give me a kiss, I am your girlfriend!"
So we got together again, but I wasnt hoping for too much and since for summer (2012) she wanted to go abroad, I didnt expect anything. Soon she came back and wrote kind of "I really, really need to see you, please vist me" (she was out of money by this time). In autumn (2012) I visited her, we had nice week together and I realized that she is the one I want to be together. We started planning how to handle next half year, since both of us had to go to school. So she came up with an idea to do an exchange-semester in Estonia, half year. Soon she moved to Estonia (start of 2013) and we were back togehter. Without any exaggeration - this was "my best time of my life".
But soon she started telling me about going for another half year semester... Australia. WTF I thought to myself. Well it wasnt easy for me, but since love was so strong, I promised to support her not to leave her. In august 2013 she went to Australia. During this time I had to be strong and not to pay too much attention on distance and time difference. And I told her that I wont be 24/7 online and chatting, otherwise it will ride me crazy and I wont be able to concentrate on my MA-studies and work. We were chatting almost every second day, just kind of small-talk or so. Over time she started telling me that I dont pay enough attention to her and everything is about my school and work. In december (2013) we didnt talked much, almost at all. However, by the end of the year she visited me and we went on New Year's Eve cruise.
Last New Year's Eve was one of my worst days in my life. On the 1 of January we had serious talk about our relationship - how to go on and bla bla bla... She told three main things: (a) she is BI (ok, I knew it before, but somewhy she told it to me); (b) she doesnt want to have children (at all!!!) and (c) she isnt sure about us. I have nothing against BI curious or gay people, but having children is one of my top priorities in my life. And "I am not sure about us" destroyed my all plans. It hurted. Couple of days later we talked again and we both sincerely made it clear that we love each other and we will work on our relationship. However, now she is back in Switzerland and we are talking (in SPAM and SPAM) almost every evening. But what is sad - we dont get along really well. And I started thinking about breaking up...
Soon, in start of February, I will visit her for 2 weeks. All I want to hear from her, that in autumn 2014 she will move to Estonia for half or whole year (I need to do some business here) and after that we will go wherever she wants (probably Switzerland). We both know that this long-distance relationship isnt working well and in the end we both might find that it was just spending valuable time.
So here I am... another fucked up relationship. But I know it might sound really subjective, but thats the women I want to be togehter. And I do believe that time can change her mind about having children. I have no idea what I shall do now... how to play The Game that she would stick to me and we could make real all the dreams we had?
(remark: I have a suspicion that during her stay in Australia she met someone and she is attracted to him. I found some pictures of her and one guy, where they are smiling and happily togehter (just hugs). Second option: she told that she had a girfriend who were BI (she has a boyfriend who allows here to sleep with another women). Maybe its about girls now? And ya... on the new years eve i got my girfriend drunk (on purpose.. I know, not nice of me) and at night i asked all the questions I needed. She didnt really understood whats she is telling and to whom, but at least it was clear that she didnt cheated on me during half year.)
Conclusion
I am not here to be back in Game, maybe I will have to... Why I am back to his forum, I need some advice from you, guys. I am searching an answer what I shall do in my situation. And "leave her, find another one" is not an option in this case. Too strong feelings, too long togehter. What you would recommend me to do? How to get her back on track?
A deep bow for your attention,
Raudmees (Ironman)
27.01.2014, Tallinn, Estonia
PS! I am sorry for my english, I wrote in hurry.
CHAT