Hey guys,

I have been seeing this girl for months now. I should give a bit of background info..

growing up, i always had communication problems with my family, resulting in not wanting to let people down. meaning I make plans with multiple people because I dont know how to let people down. I then end up disappointing people. I've since become better at this, however it causes problems in relationships. me and my girl keep cycling between being very close and having the most amazing time together every time we see each other, and i mean all the time, and then we get in a shitty little fight and she backs off from the relationship.

So as girls do, when were fine she always wants to make plans to see each other every day, which I love doing. Almost every day.
I feel its important to take days off and its not because shes a crazy girl and I really don't need a break at all, but because Its healthy to take a break from seeing each other sometimes. I always have friends that want to do things and I can easily make plans to do other things and make space, however I dont want to do this, I want to handle it like an adult with the best outcome. Sometimes its healthy to say "hey I'm going home to watch some TV by myself". My question is how would a normal person communicate this to someone properly?.

It's cool because she's the type of girl that doesn't pressure me to do anything and she's very loving when were ok (not too much), she's now at all clingy but treats me like I would treat my guy friends. So she sees the relationship as either perfect or if we get in petty fights as not worth it. I wouldn't get absolutely suicidal if we broke up but I ask this of you guys, not because I want to sulk, but because I want to grow up.

Alright I might get trolled for this but here is really how I honestly feel about your problem:

Sounds like you have Avoidant Personality Disorder (avPD) you should google it and get cognitive behavioral therapy if you think it describes you well.The PUA community is filled with intelligent,rational,caring people with emotional problems, it is afterall a self help community and we were brought here seeking help with social issues. You should assume if you're here that you either have

a)borderline or sociopathic personality disorder, and have problems forming deep meaningful connections with people
b)you have social anxiety personality disorder and find it difficult to suppress your anxiety when you meet new people
c) You have avoidant personality disorder and make up all kinds of excuses why people suck and you should avoid them consciously, while emotionally you feel like you're never good enough.

There is a great free CBT course that is a little hokey but super effective for avPD suffers, i was - am @ https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

-R

i would say that this is a place for people to get better at dealing with women, because everybody sucks at first and its fun to screw around with girls. so dont think you have some mental problems.