I've been with my girlfriend about 8 months. We go to college together, on breaks she goes to live with her parents and I stay at my apartment near campus (80 minutes apart). Until about a month ago, everything was typical honeymoon. When she went home for winter break, a period of escalating tension began, and my gut was telling me she was losing interest. Without a bunch of anecdotal evidence, I wagered some was just the holiday season (bad weather, seeing friends/family, working, etc) but also just the end of the honeymoon phase - BUT - my gut is usually pretty spot on these last few years about when a girl is losing interest. For example, when were were apart over the summer (during honeymoon) we saw each other around once a week, I would do a majority of the driving but she would make excuses to see me and set aside plenty of time.

I last saw her two weeks ago, and it was a struggle to do so. I made a different topic about it, but we did get to talk about some of what's going on which will be elaborated later. Kept things pretty low-key for a week or two, then tried to make plans to see each other once again before great resistance was met again. During a text conversation a couple days ago, I told her "We'll talk about this more when you get back." as it was starting to bring up smaller issues, yet she persisted and sent me the following message:

"On my end i've been frustrated because:
1 I don't have a car so i can't do what i want
2 the car i am allowed to use won't surivve the distance to (my apt), it can only make small trips
3 all my friend saround here work and have to spend time with their families, so to find time for them i have to figure out where our schedules match up which doesn't happen often
4 i have people who think because i can't make the drive to (my apt) you should be putting forth all the effort if you want to see me. And they tell me this a lot.
5 because you'[re not putting forth all the effort they think you should be, they all think that you don't think im worth it. and they tell me this a lot too."

Later, I did offer to make an exception and "put forth all of the effort" with the reasoning that we wanted to see each other and to appease the tension between her and her mom. She was much less enthusiastic about it than I expected, and eventually said she didn't want me putting forth that effort in spite of the reasoning. I made a joke this morning over video chat about "telling the world to go fuck itself and lock ourselves in the apartment for a day" when she got back. Previously, she'd take this kind of thing pretty well, as the sex has always been great and she's always been really excited to see me after breaks and time apart. This time it was more of a "maybe" answer; I played it off best I could "my friends are trying to make plans with me but I wanted to give you a chance" sort of line, but the response still hit me.

So naturally, I've overthinking the bejesus out of this whole thing. I know things will stabilize when she does return to college, but without question she is losing interest. I personally struggle with distance relationships, yet I've never dealt with "mom-blocking" like this. It's good that she does tell me, means I'm at least not on the way out... but with everything else, could be. Even last night, she spontaneously sent "Wearing your shirt tonight. Missing you like crazy. It's weird not hearing from you after work." after I had fallen asleep much earlier than I normally do - that was her 4th message in a row.

Another possible thought is she just wants to avoid our relationship and the difficulties of seeing other while at home. It sounds like she's getting a great deal of stress and pressure in regards to visitations, so simply sucking it up and just talking / playing games via video chat will suffice. This is generally what she's telling me. She's stuck between what she wants, what her mom wants, and what I want, and she is trying to make everyone happy. She works WITH her mom, and she has had hardly any time to see her friends either. I do my best to not pressure her about anything and be supportive, and it's difficult when she's complaining to me about family / work almost every day. There's almost no question to me that her mom is trying to get her to break up with me, and it IS affecting her. By the way, her mom is not even close to a shining example of quality relationships. It seems most if not all of my girlfriend's friends support us and our relationship, and (except the orbiters) they all seem to genuinely like us together. I did offer her to stay at my apartment over the summer, under the condition she had a job and paid her share of bills - she tells me this offer is "sounding better and better".

Optimistic Lowdown
She's dealing with mom best she can. Eventually, she'll be independent from her mom, and be 100% free to be the awesome lady she is. Her great work ethic, natural curiousity and openness, intelligence, and strong social network will propel her into leading a successful fulfilling life no matter what she does. My girl and I either stay together and do the "Traditional Marriage" thing, transition to open relationship as we both travel in different careers, or just stay good friends.

Pessimistic Lowdown
Mom's influence gets to her, due to being such a strong presence in her life. My girlfriends resentment becomes placed on myself and our relationship, eventually leading to its death. My girlfriend moves back home after college, eventually moving into a trailer about a mile away from her mother, thus following the family footsteps. She eventually takes over as manager for the local grocery store, and marries a local beta male. We lose touch as my life moves forward and hers becomes stagnant.

The first is partly a self story. I've seen the second happen more often in other people, including women I've dated (sans mom-block). The question is, what's the reality? That's why I'm here. Is this just a tough time? Is the honeymoon just ending? Even if mom fails in her mission, will the seeds of doubt be strong enough to spell the relationship's doom? I feel my girlfriends interest waning, while I struggle to stop mine from rising. I'm not willing to walk... yet. I had no doubts my girl was a "keeper" before this, and I knew the honeymoon phase would end. I'm just not sure if I'm just overthinking, or this is actually red flags.

Thanks for reading all of this. Fire away.