2 year ltr ended 9 months ago. i went thru the typical phases, anger bargaining sadness, however I am having trouble with acceptance.

this was my first real long relationship and i was completely in love. and because it was my first long term test, i made many mistakes and have learned from them yet, going in I thought I would be able to handle everything.

the issue now is that i have a huge feeling of regret all the time because the truth is that i fucked up by doing the typical beta behaviour, overly jealous insecure etc. and i lost an amazing girl.

granted there were other minor issues that caused friction but nothing insurmountable.

im just so mad at myself because my life is not conducive at all for being single and I had a really great situation with her and i ruined it all. i hate myself so much and get super down about it

how can i just stop all this regret?

Dude your not being realistic. All "great" girls have their flaws. You need to remember the bad things the things that pissed you off while you were with her. When most guys get out of a serious relationship we only think about the good things you need to do yourself a favor and remember the bad things. Go out and game more your still reeling because you haven't found another girl.

You made mistakes, acted needy and beta. Plenty of us have done it, I have more than once. Be thankful you have what so many guys don't; self-awareness of these mistakes and flaws and therefore the means to correct it as well as this forum.

Accept that what is done is done, it doesn't mean your worthless, weak or unattractive; it was a learning experience and you need to build from it. You won't get clean by rolling around in the dirt.

its just extremely difficult to accept. like these rediculous thoughts keep racing in my mind 'why didnt she explain to me that she was feeling this or that b4 breaking up with me, why did I communicate better, why this why that.' i have such a strong urge to call her and ask her all kinds of questions

Do not do that, that is ridiculously beta she'll be thinking damn I'm glad I don't talk to him anymore

it wouldnt have worked out

(i'm french btw)
Hey man. I'm in the same place as you. 2,5 years relationship ending without real explanation one month ago. I tryed speaking to some of her friend (mutual friend but more friend with her), it didn't give a lot of closure. And even if you speak to her, i don't think it will give you peace. Only more and more question because you're brain is not dealing about the break up but about "why i have been rejected" or in other words : "your value".
Now i think that usually we don't understand pretty well the end of a relationship.
We think that a break up occur because :
I did that + this + i'm like that + and this = lost of attraction (= break up)
But it's the other way around.
It's because she lost attraction that she see you as clingy, needy or "some stupid reason" (for mine it was : i spend too much money haha).
So here is the only things you have to deal with : she lost attraction.
And there is a lot of reason for this, and a lot are certainly not about you. Perhaps she change and she needs other things in a man, and it's okay ; or here priority change etc etc.

But don't get me wrong, if she didn't give you explaination, you certainly search some by yourself. Now, you can't be sure they are the real reason for here, like i'm too needy, i don't have a job. So you thinks about bad side of you that she see in you. But she never said to you those things. It mean one thing. It's just projection, you attribute something you don't like about yourself on someone else. So the reason you find about the break up, are certainly not the reason why your girlfriend break up with you, but they are the things you don't like about yourself, and can know work on it.
In this case it's the only thing that matters : what you think about you, and what you want to change about you, not for someone else opinion but for yourself.

Now, my last point. You can't move on not because of the lack of explanation, not because you made action that you now regret, but because you put your selfworth on her. You think yo ucan only be a man of value when someone love you, and you can only see your value when someone is in love with you.
So when this person go away, she tooks with her your value. This is why people lose there confidence, or why they get back there confidence by dating other girls.
So if you want to move on, you don't have to go for an explanation, but for your selfworth, not through the lense of someone else, but through your one lense.
You use people to make yourself feel at home whereas you have to be your own home. And doing this is fucking hard. It's what we call going your one way.
I don't really believe in PUA inner-game, i think it's too superficial, and only give a false sense of esteem which can be easily destroyed during hard time.
They are quick fix for something that is the works of a life.
I just have one advice for this :
-Study something in science, religion or philosophy, one of this.
When working with texte, you not only learn something about the world, but you learn also how and what do you think. Your inner self reveal itself in the way you understand something. I think it's a good beginning to know what orientation you will need.