| It's a little complex, but I'll try to keep it coherent.
Background:
Up until first year of university, I had luck with girls, but not game. I didn't know why I would have some but not others. After a bad break up, I invested, got into the game and it filled some gaps, met some great girls, had some great times that made the list and ended up settling down.
That lasted 2 years, but eventually circumstances changed. I ended things and moved on. I had a bit of a passed with getting stuck in a downward spiral after a bad break up, so I followed the golden rule and went and met as many girls as I desired. Also great times, but a few months later I met a girl who impressed me enough to invest a little. Things moved pretty quickly and though I refrained from locking things down, eventually I found that this is what she wanted and was very into me. I liked her enough to lock it down and did so.
Present:
It's been only a few months, but due to the pressures of school and my own admittedly wrong behavior, I violated the rules and let things slide, I was finding it hard to maintain, I slacked at the gym, buried myself in work and let things get familiar. Fortunately as we were in the honeymoon phase we maintained, but eventually I realised my mistakes and rallied.
Where I fucked up:
She is admittedly an attractive girl, and deserving of and receives a lot of male attention. Now I never had been an overtly jealous guy, but one occassion I was not at my best and the old afc chump came out. I slipped and wasn't able to be the charismatic charming and attractive male I had grown to be. I acted jealous and reacted rather kept my frame. I managed to recover, but she had never seen that afc bastard side and I think it diminished my image. Still I took action and demonstrated that that particular stumble was just that, a stumble not a regularity.
2. Due to time constraints, my social life suffered this semester and I wasn't able to balance. Buried in my work, when I did make time it was for mainly her , and in essence I made myself too available. I rallied from this once I realised by rebuilding my social life and limiting the time I allocated to her.
3. We parted ways for winter break after a great last few weeks, and I could tell she was happy and invested and still stimulated. We kept in contact, and things were fine until I dropped the ball again. We had different views on what is respectable behavior when in a relationship. Specifically on grinding with other guys at parties. I provided that being in a committed relationship, that was not something that I deemed appropriate, I am fine with her dancing with guys but not grinding. hell I think that's awesome that guys dig my girl, but physical contact of that nature is the line.
She said personally she didn't have issues with it. She also said she didn't mind if I engaged in that behavior either, but respected my view and our relationship and had no intention to and wouldn't engage in that kind of dancing. Cool, I wouldn't tolerate it any other way, that's my limit and I stand my ground.
But my real issue was not trusting her, but that she didn't share the same values regarding what was appropriate in a relationship. I was getting little afc at this point and before I lost my cool, I politely wished her a good evening and said by. Better to step back then get caught up , though I know I might have already taken it to far.
Since then we had not been in contact for a few days, no messages received from her which is unusual because we usually talk a little each day at least.
Today we spoke, and she said she was taking a minute. Now I know that it is possible that she does not view the relationship in the same manner as I, and likely sees it as a short term thing. I know it's possible that she may be looking for a way out, or trying to punish me or test me to see how far she can get me to bend.
I've rarely had to establish my dominant role, we usually see eye to eye. I was a little rocked by her more contemporary views on how grinding on guys could be seen as okay though.
So right now I think that she needs space so I'm keeping myself busy. I just don't know where to go from here, and what steps to take next. I didn't beleive that this was that sensitive a topic that it would warrant a break, but maybe she met someone and is using this as an excuse, I'm not sure. I want to get the edge on this before I screw my head over with this.
Thank you boys for your patience,
now please, critique.
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CHAT