Hi guys. Been in pu for a few years. Have had a ton of lays, dates and relationships.
Been in a relationship with this girl I met during day game 3 months ago. She's gorgeous, smart, funny and sweet. I'm 27 and she's 23. She's a great girl but I'm just confused a little

a) Sex before the relationship: When we first got together we didn't have sex until after getting in a relationship after 1.5 months. We went on dates and made out a little. I tried many time escalating but no go. Finally one day we talked about it and she told me she didn't do it unless it was with boyfriends. Horny as fuck, I asked her to be my gf and she accepted. The confusing part was she paid 50/50 on dates, texted me, introduced me to her friends etc. I had never not had sex with a girl by the 2nd or 3rd date, typically don't meet friends until well into the relationship and we were on our 8th or 9th date by the time we actually did it. So I was confused as to why she waited. Now, I'm an attractive guy and she was going crazy for me.

b) Sex after the relationship : Since then, the sex has been great although it's about once a week and random. Again, not used to that too. Granted I finished college a couple yrs ago and this is my first real relationship since then. She started her first job where she works 60 hours a week so I can understand she is tired. She lives with her parents so she drives 45 mins to see me and then 45 mins in the morning before work. I understand that she may be tired. She is literally exhausted every day even when we are not together but she comes over when she can. Typically I'd suspect she's getting it somewhere else but as she calls me when she's home after work and is open with her phone and always puts me first when she is available. When she gets free time or a slow day she begs to see me. The once a week sex is werid for me though. She gets off and enjoys it but it's weird.

c) Gifts: So she goes 50/50 on dates. Also, my apartment was lacking of groceries so she spent $100 on food for me. Plus she cleaned my apartment. She's high maintenance but not in the bad sense. She buys herself nice things, takes care of herself, never asks for gifts. I sent flowers to her job once and she loved them. She has introduced me to her family and friends. Because she shops so much and buys her family random gifts I assumed we would be getting each other xmas gifts. I got her a gift and when I mentioned that I was Xmas shopping the other day and she asked for who, I said friends and family and her. She then said she wanted to verify with me first that we were getting gifts for each other. Now this is confusing because should I be offended that she waited this long to ask and didn't assume we were? She invited me over for Thanksgiving and Xmas with her family so it's weird that she wanted to ask me about gifts. If a girl has done all that she has I would think a gift would be automatic.

d) Love: I began feeling in love with her a couple weeks ago. We don't have many deep conversations but she's a great girl and I got the feelings from all she was doing. Ps, how to get her to open up more? Dumbly, I assumed she felt the same way. I mean what girl cleans your toilet buys you groceries and introduces you to her family if she's not falling. Figured she wouldn't say it first I did. She was happy but didn't say it back. Since then things have been normal, she texts the same, is the same way when we see each other and misses me when we don't see each other. It kinda sucks she didn't say it back though. This is one of her only real relationships and she's tough to open up.

So I'm confused about this girl. Any guys have similar experiences? She is a scatterbrain and it's tough getting her to focus. I don't care as she is like this in everything and she prioritizes seeing me. I just feel confused as I've never been in this situation where the girl does these things, but wouldnt say I love you and gifts aren't automatic. Are these mixed signals?

No. Sounds like she's running the relationship. If you're happy. It will continue to run it's course until she's bored or finds someone better. My guess is there's an issue with sex if she isn't crazy about having it all the time.

_________________
Chris
Dating Strategist
https://structureofdating.com/

She's a nester and she's got you in the pussy trap(B).

A: She's just the kind of girl who has standards and morals. Yeah, they exist believe it or not. Not all women or even men for that matter go for one night stands. I know lots of women who have either done it and been ashamed and not done it again or never even thought to do it and never would(Just not the type of person they are).

B: Not too clear here... Is she is withholding sex from you or you just don't see her enough to have sex with her whenever you want? If it's the former: Pussy trap. She's dictating when and where you can have sex by the sound of things. This is your failure. You need to show her you're a spontaneous kind of guy, you love sex and you love having sex with her. In your apartment get frisky with her and bend her over the counter as she's chopping onions or whatever or even randomly tell her to come over to you then start getting physical. Get that sexual vibe going where she can't say no and craves your dick when you give the command.

C: Decent woman, independent. Good traits in a girlfriend. She probably just wanted to confirm the whole gifting thing because it's a massive deal for her just as sex was: Not until you're official. It is odd that she would invite you over to her parents for Christmas dinner and still be unsure about presents. This could just be down to an insecurity on her part. Perhaps she just wants some feeling of not going to fast regardless of the fact that you both are going pretty damn hard and fast(Cleaning your apartment, inviting you out to her friends and family, telling everyone about you -- big deal!!). Probably gives her a piece of mind to withhold on something like that for the time being.

D: This chick has got relationship game. She is going to run this relationship and, from the sounds of things, she won't make it a horrible experience. She knows what she wants, sees value in you and probably sees some sort of future. She's doing all she's doing because she knows the effect it has and most likely because she plans on moving in in the near future. She does seem needy though so be sure not to give her everything. Don't obsess over the whole "I love you" crap. It's just words. You generally know when someone actually feels that way even if they won't say it.

She seems all right. I wouldn't get too carried away and just go with the flow. If you want a relationship make sure she can cook well... Although if you feel like you love her she's probably one of the best cooks you've come across.

Thanks for the replies guys, appreciate it.

No I won't say she is running the relationship. She asks for nothing, no shit tests and plays no games. If she wants to see me and I can't she's understanding and supportive. I typically lead what we do and she goes with it and I listen to what she wants to do as it's always something fun and exciting as well.

To GamesN point about the sex, no, there's no trap and she's not withholding sex. She wants it, texts me throughout the day about it and gets off from it. I'm all those things already, spontaneous, dominant etc. The issue I feel is that we're both so tired when we see each other. Both work late until 7 but she has to be in the office at 5 whereas I can be more flexible. When we go out, we flirt and touch and both want sex, but when we get home, we're both yawning and exhausted. For example the other night we had sex 3 times and it was great, but the next day we're both run down. On the weekends we have more sex, at night, on the counter, shower, in the morning, on the floor... I guess my problem is that some weekdays I'm not as tired as she is or may have had an easier day, I'm horny and when I initiate she gets into it but stops before sex can happen. I understand this as we both know she has to get up earlier than I do and that having sex that night will throw her day off tomorrow. I know on my side I feel the same way too after a long day where I wish we could have sex but wouldnt because the next day will be hell.

I agree with your assessments Games, but she is not trying to run anything. The relationship is fun, exciting, just confusing for me as I'm used to meeting parents after I love you instead of before. I'm used to gifts automatically but shocked she cleaned my toilet and bought groceries. She is always polite and agreeable. She gives me as much as I give her, if not more. My only concern is getting her to open up more, and scheduling things so sex can be more spontaneous (if that makes sense). She is moving closer to my city in a month or so so maybe without the commute we will have more time.