Hey guys, i'm definitely new to the relationship side of the game as i've been quite successful in the field. I've been dating this girl six months now, about 3 months exclusively. I've known her and since middle school, I'm in college now.

These past three months have definitely been pretty good. No bumps in the road really, but recently i've been having a problem getting it up. I know its a direct result of stress as it was finals week and i just came off of being on adderall for four days straight, which isn't normal for me so i technically have an amphetamine hangover... But on top of all that i cant stop thinking about her/my past, which is honestly too complicated for this post, but understand we both fucked other people even tho we cared about each other a lot. Because we cared, we eventually decided to be exclusive. As you can see, the odds are stacked against me getting a boner.

Regardless, shes into art and as i was looking through her sketchbook today, she started getting real sketchy saying there was nothing worth looking at inside since it was really old. I was honestly interested in the things shes drawn but then i came across this letter thing written to one of her exs. It wasnt the actual letter, and it was written three times, i have no idea what the fucking significance of this was but she signed saying she loved the guy and always will.

Now i know for a fact that she cares about me a lot, and she literally always wants to be with me so i dont even know why the fuck im writing this but heres my hangup. She wrote i will love you always, and i know she doesnt give half a shit about him anymore so does that mean that one day she will no longer give a shit about me. these are the questions destroying my dick rn and idk what the fuck to do about it.

She wrote that letter 3 times, you do the math. She's not over her ex.

Pull back a bit. I'm not saying next her, just be less available.

I still love my ex and we broke up 5 years ago. I also love one of my lovers that was 3 years ago. They were important in my life.
And I love my current girlfriend. Would my love for the previous ones endanger my current relationship. No way. Past is past and I'm never going back.
She told you she loves him and always will. She is being honest with you. You should appreciate this. This doesn't mean that you have anything to worry about.
Also forget about past. Dwelling about the past is the most useless thing to do because it will prevent you from enjoying the moment. Exception is when you are talking about fun stuff that happened between you two.
Concentrate on the future of the relationship.

When did she write it?

Does she know you opened her sketch book?

If so you can approach it with curiosity and say I was looking at your sketches and came across this
I'm not mad or anything I'm just curious, I know that you are happy with the way things are going between you and I and don't want your ex back, but I want to know what this is all about


It sounds like she means love in the sense that this is a person who had a massive effect on the way she is now, he's part of her, so even though she's not in love any more she still looks back on him warmly. If that's what it is then don't try and take it away from her, it would be like trying to convince her she shouldn't love her uncle.

If she gets really defensive you can just be like woah you sound scared (or whatever feeling she sounds)
maybe that will calm her down that you see she's worried

create an open space where she can talk about it without fear of being attacked

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those who say it can't be done should get the fuck out the way of those doing it