Call to the gentleman



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 Post subject: Call to the gentleman
PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 2:47 pm 
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Hey guys,
So I jumped back onto this site because I have a question that I just cannot seem to fully comprehend the answer to. So, I started hanging out with this girl I used to work with. Super cute chick. Like to go out, grab some drinks, down to party, snowboards and all this other stuff that just lets me know she wouldn't be boring to date. We've f*cked about 3 times now. I dig talking to the chick and hanging with her but I feel like I find myself slowly falling into a relationship status and now second guessing if that is what I want.

Part of me says it is because I have "won," the "chase." Never really thought I was that guy. All the signs are pointing in that direction though. Any advice on what my next step should be? Girl is super cool. Would not mind at this very second, dating her. But having second thoughts like that and possibly just breaking up with her in a week cannot be the best sign.

Give it some time, hang out and hook up and see what kind of girl she really is? Or just cut that piece off?

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 9:25 pm 
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Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2013 8:02 am
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Quote:
Hey guys,
So I jumped back onto this site because I have a question that I just cannot seem to fully comprehend the answer to. So, I started hanging out with this girl I used to work with. Super cute chick. Like to go out, grab some drinks, down to party, snowboards and all this other stuff that just lets me know she wouldn't be boring to date. We've f*cked about 3 times now. I dig talking to the chick and hanging with her but I feel like I find myself slowly falling into a relationship status and now second guessing if that is what I want.

Part of me says it is because I have "won," the "chase." Never really thought I was that guy. All the signs are pointing in that direction though. Any advice on what my next step should be? Girl is super cool. Would not mind at this very second, dating her. But having second thoughts like that and possibly just breaking up with her in a week cannot be the best sign.

Give it some time, hang out and hook up and see what kind of girl she really is? Or just cut that piece off?
You said it yourself, "girl is super cool", you like her... at least to a degree. Pickup isn't all about winning the chase. Pickup isn't about one night stands or manipulating girls, it's about having the tools to interact with women and guide your interactions with them in whatever direction you want. If you like this girl, pursuing a relationship, or at least getting to know her better, isn't a cop out, it's you doing what you want to do. I believe that every relationship is different and naturally carves out its own course. You don't know where this one is taking you yet and that's fine, just let it run its course and enjoy the ride.

-Maverick


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 9:54 pm 
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Appreciate reply brother. Maybe I was slightly vague. Cool girl, sexy, good in bed. But after it shined through that she is into me a lot and this could be a relationship, I have become a little colder towards that notion.

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http://wearemag.blogspot.com/
@TheMAGblog


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 10:13 pm 
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Quote:
Appreciate reply brother. Maybe I was slightly vague. Cool girl, sexy, good in bed. But after it shined through that she is into me a lot and this could be a relationship, I have become a little colder towards that notion.
Gotcha. Even with that knowledge, I'd still advise the same- see her a few more times and see where it takes you. If your thoughts about her after that are predominantly wanting a relationship then go for it. If your nervousness about a relationship is predominating then I'd take charge of the situation- clearly lay out to her how you feel about her and how you see your relationship with her (and by "relationship" I mean interaction between two people, not exclusive dating) in the future. If your frame is strong enough and she does really like you, she may come around and be okay with seeing you casually (or whatever it is you want to do in the future).

If you're interested, I have an audio file of Neil Strauss interviewing one of his ex girlfriends in which he talks about how he tackled an identical situation and how he got her to come around and stick to his ground rules about a casual relationship without needing to be exclusive or take things to the next step. I'd be happy to email it to you if you want to give it a listen. Cheers!


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