I've been seeing this girl for about two months. We got together essentially when her and her boyfriend broke up. I was always highly conscious of the fact that it might be a rebound, but was never fully convinced.

We aren't truly dating because she's leaving for a different country for six months. Logistically, it didnt make any sense. Neither one of us wanted to keep that going long distance. We've talked about what's going to happen when she comes back, but more or less decided to play it by ear. But, even though we aren't dating, we're exclusive and I have picked up on jealousy when I'm getting attention from other girls. She even brought it up when she was drunk on two occasions with two different girls.

She leaves to go home for about a month before she leaves, which is about 6 hours from me. We don't plan on seeing each other during that time. Her ex boyfriend of three years lives down the street from her parents, where she's staying.

This morning, she told me she's been talking to him recently and asked me if it bothered me. She then told me that he suggested that they see each other again. She said something along the lines of "I hadn't really thought about it until he said it." She went on to explain that he fucks with her head because he knows her so well that he has that ability. She then told me she wouldn't get back together with him because she didn't want to hurt me. The whole situation had a lot of hesitation and strange pauses.

My concern is that this is a rebound of sorts. I don't think that is her intention, but she may not know she is doing it. After hearing the backstory about her boyfriend, theres really no reason for her to get back together with him... the guy is kind of a douchebag.

Any thoughts? Is this a rebound that I should end before she leaves?

EDIT: More info. See her/fuck/she stays over about 3 times a week, text daily, girl has spilled her entire life story to me, met her friends/family last month and she did not want to tell them we were dating because of the proximity of the breakup.

As you can see she is not over her ex and her contact with him is delaying her moving on. She has feelings for you as you do her, but until those feelings are strong enough to overcome this lingering connection with her ex there is nothing that can be done. She is respectful enough to tell you about everything which is good, now you need to be real with the situation and make some manly decisions here. My advice would be to distance yourself from her and not get any more attached (how you do this is for you to decided), you can still remain flirty and fun, but no more exclusive behavior or thoughts of future relationship. If the ex doesn't ruin this, then her trip surely will. Be a man about it, keep yourself from getting hurt and into drama.

I call that bullshit.
She's rationalising her attitude to make her feel good about herself. It's a self defence mechanism.
be a bigger douche
It seems you are the rebound, not a good position to be in, you should probably end it before she does.
If you guys were out dating before she broke up with him, expect this to happen with you as well.

Obvious solution: go ghost, fuck hotter chicks.

Solid advice here.

Here's my potential course of action, let me know your thoughts. Its pretty much going to end automatically in three weeks when she leaves. Ive been detaching/distancing myself since I realized this was happening, so do I keep doing that while making things flirty/fun and fucking her on the weekends? We're going to end things when she leaves so there's no point in starting up drama/trying to cut it early IMO.

Also, the more ive thought back through it the more obvious it seems that she still has feelings for him. The only time she has ever said no to sex was last week when she told me she was too tired. The same day her ex had called her to talk. That's the most obvious detail but there are enough smaller ones to give me enough of a reason to emotionally detach myself.

Is there any reason to bring this up to her before she leaves? We've never had a problem talking to each other about serious shit but this is obviously in a category of its own.

Any thoughts?

Why are you even listening to her while she contradicts herself?

It's either you or him. If I was in your place, I'd just end it. Long distance relationships are really hard to maintain since you can't see each other and you stop being really close.

Exactly. A category not worth talking about. I wouldn't bring it up at all, there's no point. Based on how you wrote, I guess it's not gonna be easy for you letting her go and it might only make it harder when she's gone, knowing she already has someone else lined up. At the moment you just suspect it. Let it stay like this.

Another reason why I wouldn't bring it up is, doing so might over time put you more into the "friend-I-can-talk-about-everything" category. You both know it's going to end - if you want to become the guy she can ring anytime when she feels like talking, then obviously mention it.

These responses are interesting and conflicting.

Yesterday I had pretty much decided to ljbf her before she left. She leaves in three weeks and that looming over us has made things weird, and I'd rather just start to make the transition now and regain some power in this. Of all the girls I've been with, I have always been in the power position, but not here. It's probably an even 50/50 split. The girl honestly has game.

But, then again, this is going to end irrespective of whether or not we end it early. I don't know if it would be better to fuck her brains out as a last memory, or just cut her out early and put myself back in somewhat of a power position. However, ljbf could backfire because I have no intentions of just being this girls friend. I could never see her like that.

When shes back next year we'll see each other weekly just based on mutual interests and friend groups, regardless of whether or not we start dating again.

I'm surprised you haven't soft nexted her for this bad behaviour.

It's clear you have strong feelings for her, but I want you to step back and look at the relation between the two of you as an outsider. This woman is leaving in the next 3 weeks and her ex is just bringing drama into your life and taking the food off your plate...if you know what I mean. Is it worth your time and money investing???

Secondly its easy for us to say she respects you for telling you about him and his advances but could she also not be trying to cover her tracks? Things to consider.

Women are emotional creatures not logical. He's DEFINITELY made an emotional impact on her, make no mistake.

Here's my take:

1. If you want to be a douche, pump her for the next 3 weeks and then get rid of her.

2. If you possess some respect for yourself and not her rather move on with your life, I think you're more worried about the view of those in your shared social circle, how will they view me after all this. Screw what people think, there are many who've been in the same situation as you and you have not read about them in the news.

There are many women out there, be strong and go pump them!

All the best

Dragon

Well, this went for an interesting turn.

We sat down and talked the other day. I had every intention of telling her it was over. I brought up the ex-boyfriend thing, not in a beta-omg why would you do this to me, but to satisfy curiosity on if they had been talking, etc. She looked genuinely surprised, told me she hadn't talked to him since she originally talked to him over a week ago, and basically told me there was absolutely no chance of them getting back together. I believe her, not because of some subconscious want to believe her, but because she sucks at lying and this response was genuine.

So, that part is out of the concern.

She does, however, want to continue talking when shes gone, as friends. SPAM, facebook, etc. We have gotten extremely close in the two months that we've been talking, to the extent where I would say I am one of three people that is closest to her. Maybe this was a mistake on my part, but it's pretty inevitable with someone you spend that much time with.

The question, now, is do I allow us continuing to talk on occasion when shes gone? It's going to be difficult for me to ignore her when talking/gaming other girls when shes gone if we are constantly talking, but she is also going to resent me for not talking to her while she's gone. It's clear she wants to stay in close contact.

I want to keep the door open for something in the future, but I can never be just friends with this girl. I can't tell her this, I'm assuming, because that seems like I'm almost giving her an ultimatum, which have never once in the history of the world been a good thing.

Thoughts?