Me and thriftiness have been dating since August. Her bday was Nov 11. Her ex boyfriend, who is still in love with her, sent her flowers to the job (we work together). No biggie. She's a beautiful girl and guys will put forth their bids. Bu she actually kept them, and refuses to get rid of them, saying they're pretty. To her, it's nota big deal. To me, it's a slap in the face that she would keep something an ex (who is still in love wit her) sent her. As a result, I didn't get her anything for her bday, and explained how it made me feel. I am helping with her phone bill, as promised.

Any insight? How would this scenario make you feel? How would you respond?

All I know is if a stranger, an ex, or the devil himself delivered me Buffalo wings and a six pack on football Sunday, that package of love is going to be devoured. Hey, if I don't eat those wings, the terroists win. I might even share a few bones with whoever happens to be sitting next to me but if she whines and complains, she gets kicked out of the room. Whining and complaining during wings/football time is an offense that should be punishable by the law.

I can see why she kept...heck if my ex gave me a nice watch for my bday I'd keep it. Question though, why the hell are you helping a girl with a phone bill? That's a bigger red flag than her ex's flowers

She said she would prefer help with bills. Now, the ex buying her flowers wasn't an issue. Her keeping them at her desk (where I can see them daily) was the issue. Made me feel like I wasn't being taken seriously.

Now, this isn't the first occurance. She actually made me leave the house she was moving from so this same ex would help her. Thought it was a friend. Then, the same ex came to pick her up from work on a day I was absent. It all just felt odd.

Mind you... This is my girlfriend. We're official.

Dude, that's a red banner, never mind a flag.

Dear god...

You should not freak out about the flowers. They are just flowers. Let him buy whatever the hell he wants for her. Don't pay her phone bill. You are becoming a provider rather than a lover. The bigger the scene you make, the more likely she will see her ex again.
There is no such thing as "official." It's a made up term that means different things to different people.

_________________
Chris
Dating Strategist
https://structureofdating.com/