So been playing the game for around 6 months or so after my ex split up with me, going out, fucking girls etc etc

anyway, met this girl on POF and was all going really well, met at hers first date stayed the whole weekend and had a really good time, did the same the next week, weve been dating around 4-5 weeks and had loads of dates etc

on my birthday my ex decides to text me to say she has chlamydia and I need to be checked out as shes 99.9% sure I have it too, so I had to tell this new girl, who wasent best pleased....

anyway 2 weeks of no sex later and we are both negative so happy days

I had her wrapped round my little finger and could tell she liked me a lot! and I liked her a lot back, it felt right and we both wanted a relationship so its all going to plan and I was in control.

last friday I cocked up, she was going on about how im a massive slut and my response was i've only slept with 2 girls since coming back from holiday.... now apparantly I didnt tell her about this other girl and so shes called me out and basically i've lied to her. shes always been cheated on and she has a few problems with trust, seems to always be getting hurt.

so its flipped! now ive been trying to tell her that im not a lier etc and im nice and im different etc, which shes probably all heard before! and shes told me she loves me and wants to be with me, but yet she cant trust me... yet

I've deleted my POF account and stopped speaking to so many girls, im trying to show her I can be failthful, (I've never cheated and never want too) but I have a rep of being a slag when im single (which she doesnt like)

when we text we text quite a bit and chat quite a lot, usually about how we can fix this and I want too etc

so what the best way on flipping it back round, so im in control again, building up her trust?

I dont want to be clingy and text/call her all the time, yet at the same time I dont want us to get distant and go our separate ways- before all of this we seem to be perfect together


sorry its a long read!

thoughts!?

Be honest. When you're single youre a slut. When not you're faithful.

Don't mention dating sites. It will put the idea in her head. You don't have to tell her everything its only been 5 weeks

She sounds like she has issues from her past. Tell her straight up, if she can't leave her past in the past, its over.

Damn bro, you got betaized hard and fast.

Instead of trying to prove to girls that you're better and nice and different and blah blah blah when they call you out on something, just calmly own it. The attitude is "if you don't like it, fuck off and I'll find someone who will."

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Yeah fair shout

She's been ignoring me for the last day or so which isn't much fun, so I'm gonna leave her to it, give her space etc then sort her out

Don't want to start giving her an ultimatum over text, so might wait a bit then see if we can meet or something

went up and saw her on monday, and we just sat and chatted about normal stuff, wanted to make it as normal as possible and we didnt have any heated discussions like we had on the phone etc and it turned out to be a really nice night with a nice hug and kiss at the end

so getting back on track


I think if it wasent so perfect in the beginning I would have never got another chance!

just goes to show, if you do it all right in the beginning then however much you cock up you can still fix things

spoke too soon.....


we spoke on the phone last night on my drive home and it cut out (guessing the signal went)

tried to call her again, didnt answer... so gave it a few minutes and tried again, just kept ringing and tried a few times and gave up, so facebooked her when I got home, she was reading all my massages but wasent replying

so said goodnight and went to bed....

sent her a good morning message thismorning and that was it


then I sent her a snapchat, she read it and didnt reply

I've been trying to make plans with her, to show I want her in my future etc offered all these different opportunities, (ive got a few gigs coming up, a trip to london, drinks, go see her fav footy team etc) and she all seemed very positive with it all on monday- maybe she saw me as taking things too fast, but well whats done is done....



then I finished work tonight and shes deleted me off snapchat and blocked me on facebook



I still have her number, but I bet she wont answer so im going to leave it a few days and see if she contacts me


if not I will send her something like....

just hear me out... what we had was special, but if you want to throw that away and go and find someone else then, well thats your choice, I might not like it and I want to stop you but hey thats upto you. We were starting to get things back on track on monday, you said so yourself... so whats going on now then!? why just delete me out of your life!? lets at least leave on good terms?



thoughts?

Dude you got LJBF'd the last time you met her, but you were too blinded with one-itis to see it. She wanted you to get the message that she didn't want you back, but you didn't read the signs. When you just wouldn't leave, the only way to get rid of you was an "Ok ok, we were back on track, we'll try and work things out" followed by a friendly hug and kiss to get you out of the door. Then she was already planning on doing the bitch move of ignoring you then blocking you the minute you walked out that door. Women do not like confrontation when they are breaking up.

So I bet you're thinking, So, Dr. Phil, what is the best way to respond to your girlfriend when she breaks up with you? Say "Ok. Well all the best for the future" and drop her like a ton of bricks. Abandon her. Sometimes she runs back into your arms and does the relationship on your terms. And sometimes they go psycho and scream "Don't you even CARE that I'm leaving you? Is that all I meant to you?". But either way, it's the correct thing to do.

And please, for the love of God, do not send her that text. Retain at least a shred of dignity out of this situation. I'm beginning to realise why she broke up with you. You are needy, desperate and clingy. You need to hear this, because you will continue to make the same mistakes with better women if you fail to deal with it now. Consider it a form of "tough love" and you need to hear it if you want a future of wading knee-deep in poon-tang.

Yeah, last christmas things were on the rocks, then I saw her to talk about stuff, we had a kiss and a cuddle and three days later it was over. Don't give yourself false hope, go completely NC and get her out of your system. It really is amazing how fast you heal with NC.

My ex finished with my two and a half weeks ago and I have been strict NC. Today, it occurred to me "I haven't actually thought about her all day..." Obviously I was then thinking of her, but not in the way I had been before

Yeah fair one, ive basically said if you dont like it, there are plenty more guys out there


and ive managed to turn it around so ive given HER one more chance, NC for a week then you can try again sorta thing to her, which she agreed to

now ive cleared my head I can stop being clingy like I was for a week or so when I thought i was loosing her etc, and I can now focus on how to either turn it back around so im in control again or move on- either way

NC is a wonderful thing, but it significantly loses its effect if it's something you agree to go through with a girl. NC should be an unspoken thing, you don't declare that it's going to happen, you just do it. The purpose of NC (aside from helping you get over a lost cause), is to break the pattern of contact you have with a girl. I.e. not starting conversations with her, or engaging in *any* form of social networking (no snapchat, no twitter etc). It's particularly powerful if she decides to contact you and you do not reply (don't bank on this happening; get on with your life).

I wouldn't say you are dead in the water with this girl, but I certainly don't feel that you are in a good position. You absolutely need to go FULL NC with her now, beyond any deadline you set with her (if she's expecting a text from you a week from now and she doesn't get anything, she will surely notice it, although I still recommend never declaring NC). If she shows an interest again then you will be in a position to worm back into her life, but do it slowly and on your prudent terms.

On a side note, what club does she support?

Good luck brother.

I do agree about the nc, but she was nc'ing me so I've done that to get back in control, on my terms etc, when Friday comes around I'm gonna let her text me first, then hopefully I've then got the advantage back and go from there

I'm a trumpet player and I'm performing in the concert in Torquay next Saturday which she was going to come too

So one side of me says take it slow and just get chatting again, build us up again etc

The other side says 'are you feeling spontaneous!? Wanna come to Torquay?'


Think the best thing to do is play it safe and take it slow and build it back up again

Or the other side says go over hers, and fuck her silly....

Oh the choices! Haha either way it will either work and we can move on or it doesn't and we can move on apart

You're telling her TOO much for 5 weeks...
There are things you shouldn't say.

Yeahi know that now

Lesson learned for the next one

Just have to wait and see what she does and says