I just broke up with my gf 8days ago,(together 1 and half years) because lately I am sensing that she is distant and we have several prior repeated quarrels before.

To be honest, in this relationship, she is in a upper hand (ya know what i mean)

I took the preemptive step and called her, saying that "its not working out, let's break up and no hard feelings" after she disappeared a full day and being a bit dodgy. (numerous occasions)

She responded angrily and asked me not to contact her anymore. I said, no hard feelings and we hanged up.

After the break up, she text me some angry messages which i totally ignored.


I NC her for 8 days. (My aim is to NC her 3 weeks)
During these 8 days, she has been calling me a number of times and texting me a lot on "I miss you" yada yada. With her Facebook being she feels devastated.

I responded to only some of the messages/calls but delayed whenever i answered. I kept my answers brief and friendly (no emotions shown). I didn't inquire into her life.

I do want to take her back, but i want her to beg and grovel more and lay my ground rules before taking her back.

The problem comes, last night (NC day7) i went to a club and i saw a group of her female acquaintances <not very close friends with my gf>
With 2 particular girls whom are "sworn enemies" with my gf.

Being friendly, I partied a while with them and ask ONE of my gf's friend <or rather acquaintance> for supper with 2 of my other guy friends. In group of 4.


The next day which is today, she called me as usual and i answered. We casually chat, and i continued keeping my distance and casually talked about last night.

I told her i went supper with her female acquaintance; and she knows that her so called "sworn enemies" know about it, and she BEGAN to raise her voice and angrily argued that "You have thrown away my face! How can i face my friends in the future? Surely they (her sworn enemies) will gossip and laugh that romantika's bf is seeing other girl." I tried calming her down and ask her to relax, resulting her to be even more angry. and she hang up the phone without bye.

Followed by 10 angry text messages stating that she will never do this kind of things to throw my face away, and she feels like she is the only one that is missing and loving me and not vice versa.

I replied "Seriously, dont contact me until you have calmed down".

She blocked me afterwhich.

honestly, I feel that she is unreasonable. Or is it my fault?



Ok I made a textbook mistake the day after, I called her on her mobile (wanting to check on some non-relationship stuffs) around 12 hours later after the quarrel as above. She did not answer. and did not call back the following day.(which is today)

I think I had broken the NC... Does this mean she has gained the upper hand back?

What did you hope to accomplish by breaking up with her just to take her back? Girls are thinkers and when you take her back she is going to always remember that you dumped her, it will be in the back of her mind and she'll resent you for this. You would have been better off just commincating with her and doing a real break up if things werent working.

Anyways, going out with her enemies was a bad move. She's a girl so this could be the last straw or she may come back and contact you. More details are needed. Why did you start this in the first placE?

Her behavior was unacceptable (always busy and unavailable) and I can feel that she may be the one pulling the trigger to break up soon. So I reckon I do a pre emptive breakup first. Our relationship is quite sour prior to the break up

I guess I screwed everything up by hanging out with her enemies and calling her the next day after she angrily hung up the phone...

Nothing wrong with breaking up, but it sounds like this pre emptive breakaup was to keep some power and eventually stay in the relationship. From what you wrote about getting her to grovel and meet your demands.

If you wanted to be with her, then the friend thing was bad to do. If you didn't want to be with her it's whatever.

Question: Did you try to express that you find her behaviour (while in relationship) unacceptable ? Or you just went straight through the breakup ?

The dumbest thing to do is to break up with a goal to make her more attracted / win the control back.