Lower value due to failed test



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 3:16 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 8:48 am
Posts: 23
To make it short: GF of 3 years almost cheated -> then she wanted to leave me for him -> she wanted a break -> I broke up instead -> I won her back by going NC, becoming alpha and representing a solid frame. So the rebound guy lost. :-)

No the problem:
I've become beta during our relationship and for the last couple of weeks, since the incident, I worked hard on myself und our relationship improved. It's still not where I want it to be but I know I'll get there. But all this happened during my finals in college and of course this did affect me being able to efficiently study. So I didn't tell her about two tests that I failed because of it but I actually passed one the same tests 4 weeks later so it all seemed to work out in the end. No need for her to know about it. Today though, I failed the second test and there is a chance it will jeopardize my bachelors degree. I'm still talking to my university about my options and not everyhing's lost yet - they said it should still be possible to get my degree. But how am I supposed to handle this in front of my GF? I did tell her about the situation and she was supportive and everything - so I can't complain here, but I also now that this definitely lowered my value in her eyes (and in my eyes too actually). I told her that this is not going to throw me back and I sometimes in life there are obstacles one needs to pass. So basically I didn't wine about it :-) and I actually do feel this way. I already am very successful at my current job - so no money issues here and I have a great career ahead. Do you guys think this could be a deal breaker for her anyway?

Thx for some opinions :)


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 9:50 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 29, 2013 7:34 pm
Posts: 33
just make up a lie. Don't say it was due to her. Maybe you got "tricked" to go partying? ;)

I wish you GOOD LUCK AND HOPE IT WORKS OUT


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 10:01 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2012 3:50 pm
Posts: 587
All out lying is a piss poor idea.

Your frame is perfect. Life didn't go as planned for you. You're not running away from the problem, your working your way past it and not letting it stop you.

If you are worried about how she views this, you need to stop thinking about that and start thinking about why a girl who almost cheated on you, and with whom you may always have to wonder how a speed bump in life will affect how she views you, is actually good for you.

It appears to me you believe she is higher value than you. It sounds like you worry that unless you are successful at every juncture, she may bolt at any second. Instead of having a girl who supports you as you hit these bumps, she is ready to ditch you.

I'd reassess whether or not your frame is good, and whether or not she is any good.


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 10:17 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 02, 2013 10:20 pm
Posts: 322
Dont worry about the girl. Get yourself in check. If you can't separate school/work from your personal life and the emotions caused from it, that's the biggest thing you need to work on. Your degree is exponentially more important than any girl. Plus, its something that is completely in your control. The girl is obviously not.

Always look out for number 1.


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