So my girlfriend (shes 28, im 22) of a few months now told me she might be moving in with a guy 'friend'. I dont know much about this guy, but to me this just sounds like trouble. I dont for a second believe that this guy would just so happen to be a white knight. Also, I dont know if i trust her, even though she's incredibly honest about everything (she admitted that she had cheated before-- according to her it was a bad relationship in which he didnt want to change, so she broke it off the next day, and started seeing the guy she cheated with-- her last ex of 3 years). I like this girl, we get along great but i couldn't cope with always having to worry and having her in the back of my mind! So Ive got a bit of a conundrum on my hands here, i need advice. What do i do?

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Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today - JD

I'm the most liberal guy ever, I could even get off by seeing my partner do another guy - but what you said even makes me concerned. But it all depends on the context. And it's your right to know what the context is.

As the partner, you're pretty justified to want to visit occasionally and really get to know this guy and sense the vibe they have going on.

Even in polygamous relationships, when one person wants to bring another into an existing relationship, the existing partner has to get to know this new person and give them the OK.

So the fact that your girlfriend is living with another guy deserves some of your concern.

Weather or not something is going on, they should be expecting this, to a certain degree. Wouldn't want to be over there all the time and really nosy, that would definitely drive her away. As long as it's reasonable.

You should be over there, be very friendly with him, and really become involved in that household. I assume you'll be picking her up or staying the night occasionally, since this is her new home.

If anything is going on, it'll start to become obvious. And if it were to, then clearly she wants to move on anyway, no sense forcing it - but at least you could tell her how you see the situation and then leave the ball in her court. Passive agressive is stupid.


But before all this, you guys should have a talk. Get behind your concern 100% - you can do that without appearing overly jealous, this is a legitimate concern for someone in a relationship.

There is a huge age gap between you. The fact you mentioned it up front makes me wonder if you already feel there's an issue there.

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