"You're a really nice guy but..."



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PostPosted: Mon Oct 21, 2013 11:04 pm 
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Didn't see this one coming... Went out on a day 2 and heavy kino + k-closed during date and she even kissed me a good night.. She seems interested all night but two days later I text her and ask her if she is busy tomorrow night and she sends me this:

"Listen your a really nice guy and any girl would be lucky to have you but i don't think we would work out"

I don't think I played the nice guy card too much but maybe she saw that and somehow lost interest. The date went well also so I am a little in shock... How do I reply? Or do I even reply to this??

Also... I feel like her friend who joined us afterwards (who ended up 3rd wheeling because her date bailed) must have also said something. She seemed like a girl who was getting jealous when we were together most of the night...


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 12:35 am 
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"Oh ok, no hard feelings, was nice to meet you :)"

Plenty more out there, it dents your ego a bit but rejection happens.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 12:49 am 
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"Oh ok, no hard feelings, was nice to meet you :)"

Plenty more out there, it dents your ego a bit but rejection happens.
I sent something along that line a while ago and she basically sent me an essay saying... how she didnt want to sound cliche but its her...
1. she just isnt ready to move on from her ex
2. i was the first guy she dated/talked to since she has been single
3. and how she wished she was at that place because she likes how i have everything going for me, blah, blah blah.
4. thanks me for understanding and thinks im a real nice guy and had to be upfront with me and not lead me on

sounds very cliche and that she wanted to put me down nicely but i know she had a bad breakup from her ex and she still has a lot of feelings for him... i also dont know how much is genuine or her being nice... I'd like to keep the door open but I also know I gotta man up and move on... How should I keep the bridge open with her, just in case she ever does reconsider??


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:31 am 
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I think I've read some of your posts before and this is not the first time a girl tells you this. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Do you think there might be something the way you act with them that gives them the "nice guy" vibe ?

I suggest next time you go on a date with a girl have one thing in mind: to fuck her asap. Because that is what nice guys don't do.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 9:07 am 
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You can leave the door open with her, but move on and no longer initiate contact.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 12:39 pm 
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It's one girl....one date...move on. As AFCtothe max said, fuck them asap.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 2:22 pm 
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I think I've read some of your posts before and this is not the first time a girl tells you this. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Do you think there might be something the way you act with them that gives them the "nice guy" vibe ?

I suggest next time you go on a date with a girl have one thing in mind: to fuck her asap. Because that is what nice guys don't do.
I've only got "nice guy" one other time in my life but it was from a girl who didn't even know me so I can't really count the first one.

Maybe the fact that she mentioned to me before we starting dating was that she has been hurt before which kinda threw my game off. So I kind of took caution and tried to show her I'm respectful, but doesn't mean I was a pussy didn't escalate and make a move...
The only thing I can think of that is a bad quality in me is I'm indecisive and can't make my mind up normally. Besides that I'm not overly nice or anything, I mean I treat a girl right but I don't over do it. Trust me when I say I laid game proper that night, I was aggressive enough to make moves, I showed confidence, kept strong eye contact, etc... I ran solid game and everything seemed to be in my favor that night, the way things were going she seemed like we would see each other again but I guess you never know for sure. Something after the date changed her mind about me and it must be the fact that she isn't over her ex, anything I do I am getting compared to her ex. That is hard to win considering she had strong feelings for him... She first said it won't work between us then she isn't ready to move on so I don't know what she means except that she doesn't want to see me right now... I basically just said "Oh ok, no hard feelings. It was nice meeting you" after her essay long text. So really up to her if she ever wants to contact me again...

As for future dates, yeah I'm starting to not give a fuck anymore because everytime I do care it ends up bad... So I will go in with one thing in mind and would rather lose a girl being too aggressive than playing it safe, although I don't feel I lost the last two girls by playing it safe...

This is the second time I ran solid game on day 2 and lost the girl, the first girl I lost was insanely into me then disappeared without saying a word... At least this girl had the heart to say something...


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 2:31 pm 
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Probably pissed because you didn't message her after your date and took two days to get in touch.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 2:36 pm 
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Probably pissed because you didn't message her after your date and took two days to get in touch.
I doubt that but if she was on the fence with me that properly bothered her...


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 3:08 pm 
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Next time try something thing... "youre right it felt funny, like dating my sister or something. I just didnt want to hurt you by saying so" Then hang out with her a few days later and makes moves like nothing happened...or move the fuck on and date lots of women!

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"Every woman's a whore in the right situation"
"They're all selling it for something"
"She's sluttier than you think she is"


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 3:36 pm 
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Probably pissed because you didn't message her after your date and took two days to get in touch.
I doubt that but if she was on the fence with me that properly bothered her...
No, if she liked you and thought about you and you shut her out for two entire days for no reason you pissed her off. She got emotional, liked you and you hurt her for no reason, she most likely decided she didn't want to feel so badly about herself and came to the conclusion you're the cause of it... so she cut you out.

You cut her out for two days, no reason and basically treated her like crap... for no reason after a good time. This whole "Act cool" crap is just immature. She knows it, you should know it too. Be cool about the relationship that's forming, don't be a dick about it. Just don't message her 24/7 and be needy.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 3:43 pm 
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Quote:
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Probably pissed because you didn't message her after your date and took two days to get in touch.
I doubt that but if she was on the fence with me that properly bothered her...
No, if she liked you and thought about you and you shut her out for two entire days for no reason you pissed her off. She got emotional, liked you and you hurt her for no reason, she most likely decided she didn't want to feel so badly about herself and came to the conclusion you're the cause of it... so she cut you out.

You cut her out for two days, no reason and basically treated her like crap... for no reason after a good time. This whole "Act cool" crap is just immature. She knows it, you should know it too. Be cool about the relationship that's forming, don't be a dick about it. Just don't message her 24/7 and be needy.
Well the date was Saturday, I didn't talk to her Sunday but texted her Monday... Of course she thought about me, it seemed like she had a real good time and she even brought me up to her parents and all before the date so she probably talked about it with them... but I don't think she would go that far because of one day of not talking... We never over texted or anything to begin with. And why couldn't she just pick up the phone and send me a text if she wanted to hear from me so bad??

Then she gives me the nice guy speech after all that? Just doesn't add up really...

But IF that was the case, how do I fix it!?


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 3:47 pm 
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Well the date was Saturday, I didn't talk to her Sunday but texted her Monday... Of course she thought about me, it seemed like she had a real good time and she even brought me up to her parents and all... but I don't think she would go that far because of one day of not talking... We never over texted or anything to begin with. And why couldn't she just pick up the phone and send me a text if she wanted to hear from me so bad??

Then she gives me the nice guy speech after all that? Just doesn't add up really...
Because you're the man and she's the woman. You fucked up because you put her down by freezing her out for no reason.

Honestly, i'd ask her if I upset her in a non-needy way and deliver the Mystery apology line "I'm sorry if I stepped over any border with you, that wasn't my intention. I can only apologise for it." It's fairly passive, not submissive and quite neutral.

Gaming doesn't really come into effect when you have the woman hooked on you, especially if she's so into the date she introduces you to her parents. You fucked up because you played PU in a relationship game.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 4:02 pm 
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Quote:
Well the date was Saturday, I didn't talk to her Sunday but texted her Monday... Of course she thought about me, it seemed like she had a real good time and she even brought me up to her parents and all... but I don't think she would go that far because of one day of not talking... We never over texted or anything to begin with. And why couldn't she just pick up the phone and send me a text if she wanted to hear from me so bad??

Then she gives me the nice guy speech after all that? Just doesn't add up really...
Because you're the man and she's the woman. You fucked up because you put her down by freezing her out for no reason.

Honestly, i'd ask her if I upset her in a non-needy way and deliver the Mystery apology line "I'm sorry if I stepped over any border with you, that wasn't my intention. I can only apologise for it." It's fairly passive, not submissive and quite neutral.

Gaming doesn't really come into effect when you have the woman hooked on you, especially if she's so into the date she introduces you to her parents. You fucked up because you played PU in a relationship game.
She didn't introduce me to her parents, but she did let her parents know she is seeing me and all that... She did introduce me to her friend though.

You're right, there was no reason for that. This probably is one of the reasons why I lose a girl, because this isn't the first time. The girl usually msgs me right after the date or the next day...

Actually this makes a lot of sense because when me, her and a friend of hers were walking back to the car, her friend kept making things awkward and kept saying "she will understand if you dont ever want to talk to her again" she said this because her friend is a little wild and she kept saying how she and her friend are the same and she thought she was embarrassing her... I guess she took it to heart and thought I didn't want to see her again... Guess that is why she is backing off since she doesn't want to get hurt again...

As regard to your msg, should I be more clear? What if she doesn't know what I am trying to apologize for?
Should I outright ask if she is upset with me?


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 4:36 pm 
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What did you say to her up until this point and what has she said to you? How long has it been since she messaged you saying it was her and not you?


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