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First off, How do you treat her? An honest reflection, seriously. Also, How long have you been together and ages?
3 months committed, I'm 27 she's 25. I treat her well enough to make my mother proud. I've given her plenty of experiences she's never had before. That being said, my level of attention (daily, but I have a job) and money spending (all dates, but I don't buy her shit on top of that) certainly doesn't meet her expectations. She doesn't always reciprocate. I cut her some slack due to a troubled past that she is planning to attend counseling regarding. She want's to overcome her personal issues. I broke up with her over these personal issues recently, which is when she agreed to attend counseling. Certainly she feels less secure in the relationship than earlier on.
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Sounds like both of you value her more. Slippery slope my friend. I would accept infidelities as inevitable. If you want to keep her around I would get your own groupies and make sure she knows. Act like a man. Never be soft or predictable. Keep her interested or she'll be off...
Funny, while she "hates herself" sometimes, she does value herself too highly, not sure if higher than me. It's a ramification of her past. I value myself higher, but think with some work she would be equal value.