Okay, to make it short:
Lived together with my gf for about 2 years now. She moved in with me right from her parents house. (She's 22, almost 23 now, I'm 28) - A few weeks ago she almost cheated with someone else. I gave her another chance. Went on vacation - came back and she started having doubts again. She wanted a break so I broke up with her. She left the apartment to stay with relatives and I went NC and started to socialize more - which she noticed in different ways. After three days she cracked and contacted me. Another 3 days later she came home. She had the worst week of her life she said - crying constantly. The guy she almost cheated with ignored her - sometimes maybe even in a rude way - but she insists he had nothing to do with it (sure...). So she hates him now but I'm pretty sure if he had comforted her in anyway there's a good change she would have left me. But who knows...

So now we're officially back together but she says she still has some doubts but she missed me way too much and couldn't function. Now she has some room to think about things, now that she knows I'm not totally gone and she can see me every night. But she also mentioned living on her own for a while might be a good idea. (I think so too as she's only 22 and has never lived by herself but of course I don't want that) I told her I'd support her if she wanted to move out. This won't be for another year though as this would happen when she starts going to graduate school.

So I have ONE YEAR to improve my self and the relationship and here's what I need advice on:
What is it that make girls want to live with her partner? Is her need for her own experience something I cannot fight in any way or will it be enough if I became a lot more alpha and socialized more? Is there anything I need to pay close attention to when it comes to living together? I'm not going to force her or tell her the relationship is over she she moves out, of course not - but that's how I feel. But I also know its crucial that I change my mindset about this, too.

Oh - it would be somewhat long distance. About an hour train ride if we didnt live together.

Dump her she is using u as a contingency plan in case things don't work out. As soon as she has a new shiny toy she's gone. But before u dump her bring attractive females home just friends. Flirt a lil and let them go. Let her see u ca have ur pick of the litter but u chose her. She will act pissed that u brought females back to ur place but deep down she's pissed bc u can have it all. Then wait a couple weeks and dump her if things still r shaky for her. U need to make it real for her u r not second best and u don't settle for a participation ribbon. Then she will do 1 of 2 things. She will either move on to the next guy and blind side him or she will b stuck on u bc u could refuse her. Either way it's a good thing bc u r no longer her bitch

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any man can sweep any woman off her feet. just need the right broom

Man, sounds like this chick is taking you for a ride.

"Almost cheated" is the same as cheated. If you let things get that far that you can say you "Almost" anything that's far enough. If you're committed you should NEVER allow yourself to be in a compromising situation.

The "I should move out... in a year for a while" thing is either a shit test or she's already got a use by date on your relationship, i.e. a year from now. She's young, in college and she's probably tempted to try a lot of nasty shit if she hasn't already.

My advice: Go to the gym, improve your life and go out with friends more often, be more sociable. Do things without her and be a man. Have guy weekends away and shit like that. Chick almost cheated on you, BROKE UP WITH YOU, TALKED TO THE GUY SHE "ALMOST" CHEATED ON YOU WITH WHILE BROKEN UP BUT DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WITH HIM BECAUSE HE WASN'T INTERESTED SO SHE RAN BACK TO YOU!! If she has a problem show her where the door is. But honestly, I would dump her. She's using you.

Definitely sounds like she is hedging her bets. I read a post where that said she doesn't want to let go of one branch until she is holding onto another. Think it applies. As soon as someone that shows interest in her and that she is attractive to she is gone. Think its better to let her go now.

SLAP!
Dump her. Seriously, that story almost made me puke for you. Get some self respect.

Is what she did cool? Hell no. She gave up the privilege of exclusivity but that doesn't mean she is of no use to you. You have an experience under your belt and a lesson can be learned. See it as a good thing for you since now you know what she is really like. You could improve yourself to keep her. Or, Improve yourself just to improve yourself.

don't dump her until you have something better. Even then keep both if you can. Don't feel guilty about it either she clearly had no problems doing it to you. Keep your options open.

Do what she did. Take what you can and give minimum back while exploring other options

Thanks for the tips!
I especially like your post @Jambi, - that's exactly what I'm trying to force my mind to think. Letting her stay with me eventhough I know she might leave me soon. This will give my mind a little bit of a break as I still "have" her and it makes it easier for me to get over her.

I'v did start going to the gym again and actually gone out almost every night last week. On saturday she even asked if she could join us. I should have said no but I didn't. So she came along. But I hadn't socialized a lot in the past two years so I don't think this will ruin it entirely and at least show her I do meet people.

Nevertheless - I'm trying really hard to be a little distant and somewhat indifferent. When she ask's me about this I'm planing tell her that I wasn't as schocked as I expected to be when she wanted the break. The week during NC I wasn't as devastaded and it made me think. But I would'nt want to break up with her just yet until I'm sure.

By telling her that she should probably get the feeling that I'm the one now thinking things over and if I keep indifferent and my current socialization process this should hopefully give me the upper hand again.

Also: When I gave her another chance a few weeks ago I told her she can't have anything to do with this other guy and if she did she would decide against us. As they work together (he's the IT guy) it can't be a total NC but I told her to keep it business related. I can't show jealousy here. During the break she of course tried to talk to him. Would it show my insecurity if I tried to get onto that subject? Can I make her get rid of him without making her want him more?

I'd really appreciate your guys opinion on these two things: the "my thinking things over" & "the other guy" thing

Start going out more, cold approaching/etc. It's a sad thing that forums like these, abilities like PUA, and good wing men have to be the most important thing in young men's lives these days, even more so than years of solid relationship. Ditch the bitch and go to the bar and get your tongue down a chick's throat. Problem solved.

"almost cheated' would be a deal breaker for me