okay so i guess this thing happens to almost every guy in a relationship...
I want sex more than my girlfriend, she wants sex maybe 3 times a week, at the max, on very rare occasions she gets in the mood even more... we have been dating for 11 months now, and we are really into each other..
I can turn her on and such, i can fuck her good, she will come every time, and we both feel that this is the best sex we have ever had, no question here.. But sometimes i want to have sex with her and she will turn me down, "i am to tired" "not right now, lets do it later", stuff like that is something she will usually say, and if she is stressed by school that will slow down her sexdrive...

Every time she turns me down, i just feel so insecure, like i get this weird feeling. its like i am feel soo weak, like those guys you see in tv where they wife just dominate the relationship completely, and at the same time i feel so embarrassed that i cant even make my girlfriend have sex with me... and i feel like a retard too... and that is just mentioning some of the frustrating feelings it brings up in me..

I can't really find out wether the thing is to get her to have more sex with me, somehow anyway... or to learn to control my thoughts and feelings when she doesn't want too..

Lately i have found out that if we for some reason can't have sex, then she is more easily turned on... like if i need to leave in 10 minutes, if her dad is home, if we are at a party...

at the same time, if i bring up the fact that my intention is to have sex (when i am about to turn her on), she will not be likely to want sex... so if i get her turned on before her finding out we are gonna have sex, then she will want sex... (hope that made some kind of sence..)

so ... any advice??

_________________
My mind have an idea of what i deserve - i will go beyond it

I think I understood what your problem is, and I think I have a good solution. You should try to do both things you yourself suggested. You should work on your inner-game so that you stop feeling as insecure as you do, and you should try to make her have sex more with you, and I think I know how you can improve that.

Why do you mention it to her that you are going to have sex? You shouldnt do that, if you are getting her turned on, thats great, then just start groping her after a short while (caveman style), and start having sex with her, as you dont need to mention anything. When you mention, its as if you are asking her if she wants to have sex. Fuck that, that always turns women off... You should be more dominant, after she is turned on, just escalate without having to ask her directly or indirectly by mentioning it to her, they perceive that as weakness, just do it. Trust me she will like it, just remember, dont be afraid or shy when it comes to sex, women will think it weak, and they will turn you down.

thanks for the quick reply man!

Well i don't mention sex they way you describe (well not at first anyway) but i can feel as i have becomed more insecure about her turning me down, i have been seeking more affirmation from her wanting to have sex with me. which probably have led to her wanting less sex...
I try caveman still often actually, but it just seems to be to agressive for her i think, because i think that she can see where i am trying to go with it, i probably need to start really slowly then maybe later on, going caveman style

_________________
My mind have an idea of what i deserve - i will go beyond it

Oh okay, so you do go caveman. Well, I also think you shouldnt be afraid of her consenting having sex. I feel you man, it used to happen to me when I wasnt very experienced, and then it ended up with me feeling really fucking anxious, I mean real fucking anxiety, because I would be afraid she would say no...

But now I dont give a fuck, I just go for it. It took a lot of time to readjust the frame though, because I was being scared for a long time, hopefully it will b a quick adjustment with you. Now I now a friend of mine, who takes a bit of an extreme measure, he gets all the sex he wants because, according to him, when the woman pushes him away, he wanks right infront of her, and then goes back to doing what he was doing, basically sending a message that she cant have any power over him. I have never done that, but I am just sharing with you what I've heard about this issue.

But there is another part of the puzzle that you havent told us much about yet, the emotional part. How much do you see each other, because if you are too available, that could definitely negatively affect your sex life.

Problem; you think you're good in bed, but you probably aren't as good as you think.

Question; How long does sex last?

Possible temporary solution; Get completely in tune with your dominant nature, throw her against a wall, aggressively make out with her, rip her fucking clothes off, literary, put your hand down her into her panties and rip them off. Then throw her onto a bed and eat her pussy out while you describe to her how badly you want to fuck her tight little pussy. Then flip her body over and fuck her from behind until she's screaming.

Nobody know's how good your sex life is between you and her, but I grantee that the problem is either that the sex got to linear, and predictable, or you aren't showing her what a man is capable off. And if you want more power in the relationship, fuck her like no has before.

Thats the funny thing about this (actually not so funny)
The sex is very good, we both come every time, and she has told me plenty times that sex have never been so good, and i am really good at turning her on, all those things...
I know that you will probably go right a head and assume that she is just trying to lie to be sweet towards me, but i really do believe her... my general behavior might not be to alpha and that might be a the solution. but definitely nothing wrong with our sex life...
The problem is not that i can't turn her on, but more like when i try to, then she will stop me before i get her wet.

More info: we almost spend every night together, and there doesn't pass 2 days where we won't see each other!

and the jerking off in front of her thing -not for me, would feel to weird!! haha

_________________
My mind have an idea of what i deserve - i will go beyond it

A famous quote on this website is "If you want to have the girl, you have to be willing to lose her."
If the sex really is as great as you say, then you need to make her feel like they is a reason to have sex with you. ( keep changing things up every time also ) guys use relationships, to get sex. girls use sex to keep relationships. Sounds like you spend a great deal of time with her, is there ever a period where she can't reach you?

If she denies sex on a Thursday, for any reason at all besides medical or you don't have a place, then go no contact for a bit, try to go all weekend. And just tell her you were busy, your dog died, your phone wasn't working right, anything. Make her wonder for a bit, make her chase you.

Little insider on me; I'm in a relationship with a HB9 and most guys consider her a 10, and she would freak if I didn't contact her for even more then 6 hours, granted I have no reason to ignore her we have sex every time we see each other, and sometimes even more then that. Plus, we don't fight.
As far as initiating sex goes, maybe stop for a bit. Pick a few new hobbies, hit the gym, work on your inner game.

In other words, if she is insecure she will by instinct try to have more sex with me to help the relationship???

In the way you describe it, it just seems that women only have sex for the mens pleasure so they can keep the man in the relationship... this just confuses me since most of the time they enjoy it themselves as well, and a lot of women haves sex on regularly basis, without them being afraid of losing the man?

_________________
My mind have an idea of what i deserve - i will go beyond it

Or you could:

No need for a deep analysis. Basically the sex is good but you suck at foreplay.

Get good at foreplay. That's it.

You said that she got horny when she couldnt have sex.
"Your mind is the scene of the crime." - Inception movie
Then create a moment where you make her horny but cant have sex.

Then as soon as you both get the chance to have sex, she will badly want to take it.

Sex is an art, you create sex. Learn the art. It is so many different emotions behind it. Respect that. Use it as your advantage. There are many ways of showing emotions, and dont do the mistake to use same old seduction tricks. Caveman is one of the best tricks that just brings out so many emotions.

Rip her panties apart and eat that pussy. Then go and buy new ones for her another day, and buy the ones you think is sexy/ and that you like.

Take your imagination from hardcore porn movies.

I used to spank my ex for bad behaviour and then fuck her and telling her what a bad girl shes been.
I used to make her horny in the movie theaters, and on public places. Whispering nasty stuff in her ear.
On our way home she used to take her hand inside my pants and making it grow, while I was whispering "You want that big dick inside you dont you!".

sex is something humans create. start creating, its a fucking art.

_________________
There are 2 kinds of people when you boil it all down, you got your talkers and you got your doers.
Most people are just talkers, all they got is talk, but when all said is done it's the doers who change this world.

I'll just add here that you need to do what you think you need to do.

If you think maybe you should change up the foreplay, or do something different to spice it up to induce interest, try it. If you think you need to go caveman, try it. (Although that's not usually apt to work great for me. It's a well known fact that for women, it's all about foreplay and caveman basically is zero foreplay in my book.)

In the end, if you've done what you feel you can, then it's time to think about sex drive compatibility and if you want this for the rest of your life. And if the answer is no, then it's time to have some serious chit chat with her about it, and your future as a sexually exclusive couple.