Hey guys,

I thought I'd get your advice on this. Everyone has been hurt by somebody in the past. If it's an inconsequential relationship, you move on. When it meant something to you, though...Short of having the memories removed from your brain like "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", how do you move on from that?

I'm in a very fulfilling relationship right now. Really- everything is wonderful. But I often catch myself thinking of the girl I dated before. Not because I lust for her or anything, but because of how she played my emotions. She was able to be loving throughout our relationship, even wanting to marry me, but she did a lot of hurtful things along the way that definitely ruled her out of the running. Sometimes I feel like calling her up and saying, "You know what? What you did was mean. You can't do that to people." What she did isn't important. I can elaborate, but in an effort to find common ground with you guys and your ways, I'll hold off for now.

I realize I have a choice and I've made it. I'm living in the present as much as I can. But sometimes, even the slightest thing can trigger it. It's goddamn hard and I want all my energy channeled into the present and future from now on. Thanks for your time.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

Emotional pain is more painful than an aching tooth, or 30 minutes of HIIT strength training and then 30 minutes of HIIT cardio afterwards, or even a kick to the solar plexus. You simply can't patch it up with a pain killer.

But here's what I do when I'm in emotional pain:

• 1. Write all of those negative emotions down on paper and then burn it. I have to burn it because someone else might get their hands on my writings and use it against me. I can write my pain and anger everyday, or every other day, or whenever I feel in pain. BUT I always burn the paper a few seconds after I have written everything down.
  
  2. I do bag work for several hours until I'm too tired; all I can think about is fall asleep.
  
  3. I pet the fur of pussy cats or dogs if cats are not available. Cats or dogs are cheap emotional pain relievers and stress relievers.

I have a big reason why I do all of the above for quite a period of time instead of immediately confronting the person who caused me so much pain and anger. I can kill. And what really scares me a lot is that I have the skills to kill most efficiently.

At the end of it all, a lot of reflection and anger management will save you from all of the troubles of sudden emotional outbursts that you will later on regret. You'll still need to confront the person who caused you so much pain though for proper closure but you'll have to face her with as few traces of anger as much as possible.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Human psyche is too much of an tricky evolutionary result. Its so fucking complex that large network of interpersonal relations is pure definition of deterministic chaos. In present days, this has become unhealthy (I don't know about history I wasn't part of). When it comes to this topic, here is my reasoning: as far as recalled, human species is only species in conflict between monogamy and poligamy. Both are possible. And therein confusion. That which you had before has affected you, but you're in for a perfect present, it would be better without past because it can spoil/disrupt some present directions you wish to go. And the moment of now is something you want to experience crystal clear. But our life is chaos, and how we lead our life becomes paradox. Rare are those who are truly ready for the PRESENT, either not bearing the past or having the Will about the future.

I've read your posts before, and I think they helped me in some topics I was searching. So, my two cents.