Ok I really need your guys' insight as to what's going on. So my girlfriend and I have been dating for around a month and a half now, but we've been good friends since freshman year (I'm a senior). Everything's been great, except ever since we started dating she's held back and withdrawn whenever we've gotten close to having sex. I mean we makeout and I get her off through fingering/going down on her but it's like once she starts to orgasm she withdraws and makes up excuses to stop (stomach hurts, head hurts, tired). It's odd because she's the one that initiates it and I know she wants it with that look on her face.

Here's the thing, last night it happened once again. I gave her a big O and she started complaining about her stomach hurting yada yada. I ended up getting pissed and she could immediately tell I was frustrated. She got emotional and almost started crying saying we needed to talk things out. So she told me that she lost her virginity to the last guy she was with and that he rushed her into everything and in the end it ended up being all about sex. She said for that reason she purposely tried not to attach herself to him although it was really hard. She felt unfulfilled and felt like he always wanted something from her and he was really clingy/needy/insecure and she said even though she can be friends with him she can never see him in the same way (what does that even mean?) and that she doesn't want that to happen with me. Oddly enough she was dating him last year while we were hanging out and eventually dumped him for me. She said she really likes me and wants this work, but I'm intimidating because of my past (she knows I've hooked up with a bunch of girls) and that she's only been with that one guy, she was kind of afraid because she knows what I've done and doesn't want to end up like another hookup. Now, I really like this girl, its the first time I've been willing to try a relationship and this is actually the first girl I'll sleep with that I actually care about and I told her she shouldn't be intimidated because that's the truth.

Now my question is what is this really about because I don't get it. I mean I shouldn't be pissed but I feel like this guy somewhat ruined this relationship for me and that she might still be attached to him in some way. I just don't get why she's so dead set on waiting so long. She could be afraid of getting hurt I guess but I feel like its something more. Although she's told me that its because she really wants this to work I just can't fathom the idea. How could she have given it up so easily (clearly she agreed to sleep with him), then left him for me, and now want to wait to have sex wtf. How does this work in the female mind guys?

TLDR: Girlfriend lost her virginity to her ex
She felt rushed, he was needy, she ended up leaving him for me
Now she wants to wait to have sex and its been awhile
Claims its because she really wants this to work with me but I'm not so sure.

When it comes to this topic, I'm here to help and I never tought I would, but lots of people will get sick to stomach when they read me again. Nevermind, I don't keep personal gnosis for myself. This is the process I'm still learning from. Its important aspect, because when you really think, it all boils down to staying with the girl who might play MAJOR role in your life like none other, or not.

I'll try to get to the points as quickest as possible.

1) What you feel, that she was somehow psychologically wasted, IS TRUE. This is one of those things that she probably isn't aware of. So you can't expect any logic or binary decisive language from her. She'll tell you that she wants to be with you, and yes, she actually does. Being with you is in her self-interest now, and just as a hypothesis - if you leave her, she'll surely suffer. Keep one thing in mind though, so number two:

2) This girl is a type of character that requires UNDERSTANDING, empathy, so to speak. Empathy for mistakes, for not being wise, for not being fanatical about the life she wants AT THE MOMENT, for she didn't believe she'll find it. That is, she didn't have any vision about the future. And she thinks future is now.
But what she thinks now, what she thought before, and how she will think in future is all the same person doing the thinking, if one type of mistake is her lesson, another might be very close, so you have to be ruthless to break illusions:

Lets relate, she lost virginity easily. It doesn't matter what the guy felt, she was rushed, so it was easy. But, she waits with you. Yes, she's somehow damaged. Not that she doesn't or will not love you, but she has the trouble with you now, and you pay someone else's crap.

Let me go to the example now: My GF of almost one year, is a person I seeked for. Had we not found ourselves in chaos of combinations, I'd still want a girl like her. Now, she is damaged; I'll explain. She became silent/melancholic about experience. For she lost virginity in drunk silly situation, where her female friend fooled with more than one men, 'blowjob as handshake' included, which I regard as highly intimate act, and some asshole to penetrate her first time ever is really a mindfuck.

I know her pretty much now, and she isn't a skank. I can really see her regret, but she experienced that crap anyway, and such act really does not relate to her, however it was a poor decision making. So when she got the first "romantic" experience in life, with me, not first penetration, she made me wait. Do not listen to people, PUA or otherwise, who tell you that 'girls just wanna have fun' half-conscious, deadly drunk, influenced, manipulated or used when naive, or that they're sick to have sex. It backfires. And someone will have to be the next man to feel the effects. The question is, do you want to be him? The one who will teach, lead, cuddle, and invest while deep down you will feel that she's recovering from traumas from past which were someone else's conquests. Cheap one at that.

Someone just sticked her dick in her mouth, or wherever, and on the other side - even though you did feel so inexplicably divine on the night when you two first kissed - you dated, waited, supported... Had to invest much more in order to only find out how it is when SHE CAN'T LET HERSELF GO, COMPLETELY WITH YOU, because some unworthy jackass used or mind fucked her. Is this understood? Woman, let alone 'a girl', must be exceptionally brave and self-respectful to risk what 99% don't, experiencing selected man without a limit, while its easy to choose - as average people do, 'whatever comes along' and then regret actions later expecting empathy from anyone.

She will try to develop emotionally, as she didn't experience it when her first sexual partners wasted her or nexted her. Until she either learns to have unrestrained sex AND love with you, or get away when emotional recovery and attention feeding are completed. But you will always have to find out on your own, given the time, expect more sex with more attachment, and finally experience full blown union between man and woman, or expect painful failure. You can't know at the moment.

This is not virginity appraisal, and no, sexual/emotional experience of even damaging kind does not form a woman, but it makes her compensate it and mistakes she made do show her weaknesses. Beware the woman's weakness.

Hope this helps.

Her last boyfriend took advantage of her, rushed her into having sex with him and made her feel that's all she was good for so she's feeling fragile and vulnerable at the mo and won't go any further with you in case you do the same. It's a big thing for a girl to lose her virginity, us guys don't really give a fuck as long as we get a fuck ha ha. Try keeping your paws off her for a while and give her some time. Thanks to the other guy being such a prick, he's made her feel used and deep down she knows she lost her virginity to a right loser - girls like to remember their first time as special - so don't keep going on about sex ffs.

If you really like her then give her some space. You can still have a relationship without wanting to hump her day and night you know. When she's ready she'll have full on sex with you but right now it 'aint gonna happen. She wants it to be special with you but if you can't wait until she feels more confident and together then you're as much of a dick as her ex was. Hold back and don't make such a big deal about it and she'll feel more relaxed with you

Thanks guys. Yeah I was thinking I should just give her some space, but this is the first girl I've actually had feelings for and my first real relationship so that's why it bugged me that she wouldn't reciprocate in the same manner. I just really needed to figure out if it was because she wanted to make it special and do it right with me, or if I was just being manipulated into being the comfort guy that waits for ever and ends up getting hurt, which would be ironic because that's the whole reason I've avoided relationships; call it a defense mechanism if you will. Time will tell I guess but you guys have helped me a ton. Thanks again for the advice.