I am in a long term relationship SPAM, for 3.5 years. I am enjoying it, however I know that I things will come to an end at some point, and I am prepared for the breakup phase, as I know what to expect, and I am a pretty wise guy when it comes to relationships. Although there is something which I cannot read and I will need some help and advice from you guys here. I much appreciate the help you guys are giving me!

Basically, my gf is a good girl, she isnt the party type, doesnt like to drink, very caring and affectionate, only ever had sex with me etc. She is a great girl, and means all well, and I do trust her. I know she cares deeply about me, and wants to have a future with me as she always hints, and implies certain things. I am her best friend, and the only person she can depend on, apart from a few others (family).

I am quite a laid back, easy guy, who has his passions and goals in life, I show affection when its needed, and give my time sparingly.

So here is the thing...

One night we were staying with each other, and I was wide awake from work, and she was fast asleep. Her phone was next to us, and I was just on my laptop when it buzzed for a text message. I seen from the screen it was from this guy.

Now, before we all jump to assumptions, I know this guy from school, and he knows me quite well. He respects me, and knows his border when it comes to me. This guy is a friendly, but AFC and beta guy. He is nice, but VERY AFC. To put it into perspective, I have witnessed him asking my gf on advice about girls...YES! Its true!!

So this dude is no threat to me, and not a patch on my shoulder at all!!

So the way my girlfriends iphone works, is that I can read the text on the main screen, as Im not the kind of person to look through her phone, and check up on her. Im very relaxed and easy!

The message read something about them meeting up for a coffee, and a walk in the park. So out of curiousity, I scrolled through a few previous messages, and it looked as if they had been meeting quite regularly. Within the messages there was also her giving this boy some advice on girls, almost in a best friend way.

This was all new to me, as my gf had never mentioned meeting him before. I really dont mind her meeting up with this guy, as i know him etc. But what annoys me the most about this whole situation, is that she exremmelly dislikes me meeting up with any of my girl friends. But I atleast tell her.

So they had been meeting regularly behind my back, but im not suspect between anything going on between them two, as the guy is an AFC, and nothing on me.

How should I treat something like this? and of course, I havnt said a word to my gf about it, Iv just carried on as normal.

i would be straight up with her, and ask her why she has been disrepecting you and hiding the meetings with this guy. Dont put it past an AFC to make a move at some point.

I believe she is just in help a friend mode, that is all she sees, your Beta-Buddy however would love to bang your girl, but likely would not have the balls or confidence to go any further, even if he did by some miracle summon up enough courage to make a minor move, the slightest resistance would send him under the couch like a scared mouse.

She didn't tell you, but she did not make any attempt to hide it, that tells me she does not see it as any significance.
As you should.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

I asked an of mine bout rather or not it was ok for women to have guy friends one time and how i should handle it as to not come off the wrong way. She said "i should always trust but verify." Meaning, there is nothing wrong with a gf having a male friend but she respect your relationship together enough to let you know when she is planning on hanging out with a guy friend but not to point of telling you details of everything they talk bout or do. And she should willing to introduce any guy friends she might have to you and occasionally, once in a blue moon, bringing you along.

Heywood Jablowme

You are exactly right, he is very beta, and AFC. But I wouldnt give it long before he does try to make a move on her. Then again, I cannot see how my gf would even touch him, since he is quite a disgusting guy in general. Nothing on me.

So your right in the sense that he is not a threat at all, but we all knew this beforehand anyway!

And, thats what is the problem here, she has been seeing him regularly behind my back. So yesterday, without mentioning a word about the texts, we got onto the topic of this boy (It was completely natural, as if we were talking about anything, so she did not suspect a thing). I asked her what he was up to etc since we all left school, then I asked if she has seen him since school cause I havnt. She straight up said "no".

Now this is lying straight to my face.

I acted completely calm and natural and just passed it off, because she does not know a thing.

Where to go from here?

I think she has good intentions, she might not trust you enough for you NOT to kill this guy... but it would still piss me off something fierce because she knows they want to hook up or whatever and she still allows the texting/communication. I've had girls do that to me... well NOTE the past tense. If your a good enough guy not to be hanging out with women that you know want to fuck you, why cant you expect your gf do the same?

It may not be her immediate intention, but it IS something that will lead to cheating.

I may be time to call her shit out. In a calm manner, show NO ANGER, let her know, you know the truth, you will not put up with it. It will STOP!

Let the dust settle, THEN crush her guts! Fuck her so hard her pussy will be swollen for a week! Like a KING!

Then if she doesn't want to stop it knowing how much it hurts YOU, then ditch the bitch.

Lying is not acceptable behavior, the last thing you need to do is kiss her ass.

Some girls like attention and if you aren't giving it to them, they will get it elsewhere. She is into the attention, if she is doing sneaky stuff she maybe isn't a girl you want to keep.

Good luck Bro.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.