Found LTR GF flirting/texting another guy..... Advice needed



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PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:28 am 
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So ive been with my girl for a year and a half now, we've been happy together, i keep her cumming and overall shit has been going good.

I called her tonight to say goodnight, and she wasnt answering... so she calls back and sounds different, more stale and non caring, i havnt seen this side of her since last year. So she starts complaining about bullshit and i ask her whats up... she sounded all grumpy and tired, and wouldnt explain whats wrong... so i figured shes just tired so i told her ill talk to her later

Somethin in me just felt something wasnt right, its been a long time since i dont this but i had to, i checked her email. I find some saved texts from her phone talking to some guy shes going to see soon at a mutual friends wedding. I found that she initiated the conversation and eventually told her she wants to touch his "big scar" on his hand, and he said only if he gets to touch hers.... she was later talking about the lingerie she was buying and even sent a pic (i couldnt see it as it was only the text). They were flirting about other shit too but fuck it. I also checked the times, and the time that she wasnt answering her phone was the exact time she was talking to this guy.. :@

Now im fuckin furious and am thinking about packing her shit and calling it quits. Ive kept it fuckin loyal and as far as i can see, ive been treating her very well. The fact that she saved these conversations really fuckin ticks me off. Everythings been going fine, and i truly thought this is the girl that i will marry and have my child. I fuckin love this girl, as AFC as it sounds, but i feel hurt, very hurt. Shes not a young girl either so i expect so much more from her than this.

I could really use your guys advice as this is tearing me apart , i dont know what to do...


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:35 am 
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Now im fuckin furious and am thinking about packing her shit and calling it quits. Ive kept it fuckin loyal and as far as i can see, ive been treating her very well. The fact that she saved these conversations really fuckin ticks me off. Everythings been going fine, and i truly thought this is the girl that i will marry and have my child. I fuckin love this girl, as AFC as it sounds, but i feel hurt, very hurt. Shes not a young girl either so i expect so much more from her than this.
There seem to be some deep relationship issues which I probably will not be able to answer optimally seeing as how I'm not familiar with the details etc. But I'll try:

1) It seems really overbearing of you to be checking her email. It's an invasion of her privacy, even if you suspect her sleeping with every other guy in town.

2) Did you see this coming at all? If not, you may be oblivious to something in the relationship which may be causing a rift and inspiring her to do what she's doing.

3) If she's been your girlfriend for that long and you were thinking about marrying her, then I wouldn't call it quits over this. Take some time to cool yourself off and approach her with an even-head to air this out.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:48 am 
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Now im fuckin furious and am thinking about packing her shit and calling it quits. Ive kept it fuckin loyal and as far as i can see, ive been treating her very well. The fact that she saved these conversations really fuckin ticks me off. Everythings been going fine, and i truly thought this is the girl that i will marry and have my child. I fuckin love this girl, as AFC as it sounds, but i feel hurt, very hurt. Shes not a young girl either so i expect so much more from her than this.
There seem to be some deep relationship issues which I probably will not be able to answer optimally seeing as how I'm not familiar with the details etc. But I'll try:

1) It seems really overbearing of you to be checking her email. It's an invasion of her privacy, even if you suspect her sleeping with every other guy in town.

2) Did you see this coming at all? If not, you may be oblivious to something in the relationship which may be causing a rift and inspiring her to do what she's doing.

3) If she's been your girlfriend for that long and you were thinking about marrying her, then I wouldn't call it quits over this. Take some time to cool yourself off and approach her with an even-head to air this out.
Recently, maybe last month or 2, ive been going though some hard times in my life, and its got me down, honestly im depressed. I think ive been a bit more emotional since this trauma, Maybe coming across a little needy and less alpha. But to be doing good for a year now and fucking up for a month or two and have her not even understand is pretty fucked. Im not always like this, but im in some rough times right now.

The fact that they will soon see each other at the mutual friends wedding ( i just remembered she called it "our wedding" while texting him), is worrisome. Is this worth leaving her ?


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:52 am 
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Now im fuckin furious and am thinking about packing her shit and calling it quits. Ive kept it fuckin loyal and as far as i can see, ive been treating her very well. The fact that she saved these conversations really fuckin ticks me off. Everythings been going fine, and i truly thought this is the girl that i will marry and have my child. I fuckin love this girl, as AFC as it sounds, but i feel hurt, very hurt. Shes not a young girl either so i expect so much more from her than this.
There seem to be some deep relationship issues which I probably will not be able to answer optimally seeing as how I'm not familiar with the details etc. But I'll try:

1) It seems really overbearing of you to be checking her email. It's an invasion of her privacy, even if you suspect her sleeping with every other guy in town.

2) Did you see this coming at all? If not, you may be oblivious to something in the relationship which may be causing a rift and inspiring her to do what she's doing.

3) If she's been your girlfriend for that long and you were thinking about marrying her, then I wouldn't call it quits over this. Take some time to cool yourself off and approach her with an even-head to air this out.
Recently, maybe last month or 2, ive been going though some hard times in my life, and its got me down, honestly im depressed. I think ive been a bit more emotional since this trauma, Maybe coming across a little needy and less alpha. But to be doing good for a year now and fucking up for a month or two and have her not even understand is pretty fucked. Im not always like this, but im in some rough times right now.

The fact that they will soon see each other at the mutual friends wedding ( i just remembered she called it "our wedding" while texting him), is worrisome. Is this worth leaving her ?
im going to see her today so i could use as much tips as i can asap


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:55 am 
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The fact that they will soon see each other at the mutual friends wedding ( i just remembered she called it "our wedding" while texting him), is worrisome. Is this worth leaving her ?
No one can answer this question except you. I haven't been in this situation before ever, but if I was- I would try to make it work.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 12:23 pm 
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Maybe coming across a little needy and less alpha. But to be doing good for a year now and fucking up for a month or two and have her not even understand is pretty fucked. Im not always like this, but im in some rough times right now.
Don't be mad, jealous, or needy, fake it if you have to. Pretend like you didn't read her messages. Just chill out, observe, and be aware. Trust your instincts but don't act prematurely. If you feel the way you do about her it's worth saving, and there might not be anything wrong, and if you confront her you will only push her away and break the trust. I've been there and have done all the wrong things. You've got to man up and stop being that way. After you go back to your normal self you'll be able to reflect on what happened and you'll get a clear picture if she really was there for you when you needed her, or not.

I've got good female friends with boyfriends, and due to familiarity our exchanges wouldn't be so different from what you read, especially if they're having problems. But they wouldn't cross that line, nor would I want them to.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 12:34 pm 
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Dump. She broke your trust and you didnt find out through her confessing to you. You're going through a tough time but that's no excuse for her to be sending lingerie pics to some dude. You did nothing wrong. You suspected something and went with your gut and found something. You were loyal and there is no excuse for what she did. She didnt conisder your relationship worth saving so why should you


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 12:48 pm 
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Why are people saying not to leave her? Leave her man, shes shown her intentions


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 1:02 pm 
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Why are people saying not to leave her? Leave her man, shes shown her intentions
For all we know the guy could be a good friend of 15 years and the lingerie picks could be of a teddy bear wearing a bra. Might as well wait and see what happens, although yeah I agree the situation doesn't sound great.

Besides I'd be good for him to learn to conquer his emotions and act rationally. Maybe it's a skill that won't save this relationship but will be good to have in the next one.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 1:09 pm 
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Why are people saying not to leave her? Leave her man, shes shown her intentions
this is just like whats going on in my brain, one side says leave her, one side says talk to her and see what was really up. Ive been with alot of girls, i am NOT a sucker, i learned alot from this relationship and i thought it was going real smooth. I cant believe she would do something like this, i thought she was really trustworthy and loyal.

Im thinking to pack all her stuff and pick her up, when she comes in the car she will see all her stuff. Hopefully she will see im not playing around and willing to leave her. I will let her know im suspecting her of being shady and give her a chance to explain, because she hasnt yet done anything physically. I will be torn but will leave her because 1. shes not happy with my all, 2. she might deny this happened, 3. She broke my trust regardless.

If she comes clean and explains why this happened and promises on her LIFE this wont happen again i will give one FINAL chance.

Any more ideas are appreciated if im missing something here, thank you all


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 1:13 pm 
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You should print out the messages you read, or post the message in entirety here for us to analysis. Be calm and dont let her know you read them. Wait til after the wedding and get more confirmation bout what is going on and then go from there.

But doesnt sound like some BS and she has broken your trust.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 1:51 pm 
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Im thinking to pack all her stuff and pick her up, when she comes in the car she will see all her stuff. Hopefully she will see im not playing around and willing to leave her. I will let her know im suspecting her of being shady and give her a chance to explain, because she hasnt yet done anything physically. I will be torn but will leave her because 1. shes not happy with my all, 2. she might deny this happened, 3. She broke my trust regardless.
Couple of things I know from my own experience, as I planned to do the exact same things you have suggested to my partner:

1. If you do the whole packing thing make sure you follow through and let go of everything. There is no point doing a grand gesture like that and then staying in the relationship because you still won't trust her after that and she will feel insecure in the relationship and look elsewhere anyway.

2. She hasn't done anything physically - this is very important for you to remember. I know what feelings you are going through and it is difficult. She won't be able to relate to your feelings - for her that's your problem (this is just how girls are).

3. Right now you are in a very emotional state - I would suggest you don't have any confrontation or letting her know anything until your head is in a cool calm place.

4. It doesn't matter what she says to you to explain her behavior - she thinks it is nothing or even regrets it; fact is she did it behind your back and she has lost your trust.


Anyone on here telling you it's your fault for checking your girls email, tell them to "F*CK OFF". Who are they to say this. You did it because you were suspicious of your girls behavior and you were RIGHT to be.


My advice based on my experience is this:
Quote:
Besides I'd be good for him to learn to conquer his emotions and act rationally. Maybe it's a skill that won't save this relationship but will be good to have in the next one.
This is the way I decided to go. You can question yourself as much as you want but better than this is to learn about yourself and slowly emotionally detach yourself from the relationship. Keep an eye on her behaviour and if you find she has made effort to do something physically than get rid.

Emotional cheating by girls is the norm nowadays - they are so fickle.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 1:59 pm 
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Somethin in me just felt something wasnt right, its been a long time since i dont this but i had to, i checked her email. I find some saved texts from her phone talking to some guy
Another thought. Have you checked her emails before, and did she know about it? Does she know you have access to her emails? Why would she save texts like that to her email account?


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 8:26 pm 
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Somethin in me just felt something wasnt right, its been a long time since i dont this but i had to, i checked her email. I find some saved texts from her phone talking to some guy
Another thought. Have you checked her emails before, and did she know about it? Does she know you have access to her emails? Why would she save texts like that to her email account?
Im giving her no fuckin time, wait for what? time for it to physically happen while im with her ? fuck that.

i will confront her in a very calm way, she can either come clean and try to fix this, guaranteeing that this wont happen again, or she can play dumb and defensive, where i will hand her all her stuff and wish her a good life. i dont see any other option


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 8:29 pm 
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cant trust a fuckin DAMN girl in this day and age, she was what i thought was one of the few remaining proper loyal girls with integrity. seems i was being moved like a fuckin puppet. if this is the end, bye bye relationships till at least 10 years, im gonna fuck and play with hundreds of bitches and not give a damn, this is what they want, ill give it to them


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