Whats your thoughts on who should contact who after an argument.

First GF i had i used to call back instantly and say sorry and that i wanted to resolve things. That ended terribly and I got hurt. Now with my latest gf i refuse to contact her first unless it was blatantly my fault.


Tonight I was chilling round hers and she was in a mood from when I walk in the door, ask'd her what was up but she said everything was fine. She sits away from me on the Sofa and I can just feel she doesn't want to be around me. She snaps at everything I say. I keep my distance and let her come to me. She says I want to go to bed so I say that I am just going to go home as I don't feel comfortable staying in the SPAM she's creating. She says fine so I leave and she shouts on the way don't bother calling me this weekend.

I get home and she's text me saying that I give up on her too easily and I dont fight for our relationship. Then she starts venting saying she wished we had never met. I simply reply that I felt she was cold towards me and that I didn't want to be around her like that. She's now told me not to reply to her final text which said that I dont care about her and that she can get on with her evening now.


How do I play this one? I feel that I have got to stay strong and wait for her to contact me in this instance. I really think she owes me apology, although I could of been a bit more considerate knowing that she was in a bad mood she was ridiculously cold all evening, showed no signs of wanting me to be there and when I said I was going to go back to mine she didn't seem to care or ask why. She's meant to be going out tomorrow night and deep down I am worried she will go crazy if we havn't resolved things. I don't want to be staying home if she is out so thinking of going to go out with some old school buddies (this will annoy her).

I hate this bullshit which she gives all the time saying that I wouldn't fight for her. Her meaning of that is stay around and be pussy whipped and do what she says.

PLEASE HELP

Will keep you updated.

Her rant and slew of text messages to you is showing that she clearly cares, as dramatic and nonsensical as she may be. I wouldn't reply within 24 hours since you shouldn't be rewarding bad behaviour. But afterwards, you should contact her and just pretend the fight never happened. When she says you never fight for her, she's obviously referring to your tendency to not contact her after fights -- which is fine since that's just you gaining the upper hand in the relationship. However, be careful not to encourage her rants and sprouts of anger. Leave uncomfortable situations like the one she put you in. When she gets angry, stay positive. If she remains angry, ignore her. On the flipside, you don't need to wait for her to contact you... The only condition is that she remains positive and apologetic. Reward good behaviour and punish bad behaviour.

So I haven't heard anything yet BUT I have checked her FB (not good I know, she left it logged in on my phone) and she has been messaged 5 guys in the last 2 hours, nothing too bad just a general hey what's up kind of thing. However, One of these guys is someone I have an issue with because a while ago he was pestering her for a date constantly, knowing I was going out with her. He's suggesting they go for a bbq tomorrow with friends. I made it clear a while ago that I am not happy with her being friends with him.

If she meets up with him I am going to next her tbh, massive disrespect to me.

How can I go about this? Ideal scenario is she apologises to me tomorrow and doesn't meet that kid, I can see this all collapsing if she does.


Dont know what to do guys. Bit of background. We have been going out for 6 months, we both do love each other, she is just very attention seeking and constantly needs boys around her, and this is her first port of call when something goes wrong with us.

Problem is I can't call her out on the messaging either

Unfortunately I've dated many girls like this. All emotional train wrecks. Think about it, she is basically saying to you that if you don't play her games and create drama for her to feed off of then she is going to discard you.

This is a power play situation and the actions of a text book emotional manipulator. I'm not going to tell you what to do about it, but if it were me I would walk away (Unless the sex was amazing, which case I would semi break up with her and ride it till the wheels fall off). The reality is that there is no winning with this type of mindset. You were mature and self respecting and that is a threat to someone like this, so her reaction is to chip away at you until you allow yourself to get knocked down to her level or below again.

I think you handled this exactly right, and with this type if you are determined to stick it out you have to grow skin as thick as armor and stay calm and strong during all these bullshit tantrums. However, I don't wish that on anyone as it eats away at your soul over time.

_________________
"Would it be wrong to join sexaholics anonymous to pick-up chicks?" "...yes, and stop eating that baby."

-Psych3r-

Horrible advice. This guy must be poor with women.

No contact still. I can see this being a long drawn out process. I know she wants me to contact her first but in this instance I feel she should. However, I'm going to wait 24 hours ( a long time for us not to speak) before contacting her and just suggest grabbing a coffee and try keep it non-serious.


She definitely cares about me and I love her but deep down I dont believe we will work in the long run. She is emotionally unstable, still has to go to Uni and we are different in a lot of ways. Problem is she is smoking hot haha


I agree a little bit with Psych3r, I feel it is going to be a never ending battle with her turning to other guys everytime something goes wrong with us. She goes on holiday in 10 days for a whole month so am now thinking this is the perfect time to go and do some travels of my own (something she wouldnt be happy for me to do without her).

Girls who want drama like this will do anything to create it. The only way you can conquer girls like this is to give some drama of your own. Get really mad about something during a "calm period". She needs a soap opera in her life, so if you don't give it to her she will create it herself. She will cheat on you to create excitement for herself.

Not girlfriend material but entertaining enough for a short term fling especially if your last girlfriend was boring. Also they say "crazy in the head, crazy in bed" Definitely true in my experience

Enjoy it while it lasts, next her just before her holiday. She is gonna fuck on her holiday whether you dump her or not.

So I gave in and text first saying "fancy a walk around the park"

She replies "Im not sure, Not really"

WTF




Number deleted, am not messaging her again

I think this whole thing is a power struggle.

It's not that she doesn't want to walk around the park with you, it's that she wants you to insist and fight for her as she said. However, this would entail lowering yourself and giving up the power to her. Are you prepared to lose the pants to her? Are you willing to just hand off everything to her and take control? Is her love worth it? Questions to ask yourself.