I recall being the confident, funny and assertive male in the days of our courtship. Managed to broke down the walls she built from her past hurts and got together with her. We were really happy together and I became that insecured and possessive guy who was jealous of her ex - someone who wasn't even near the picture anymore. And thoughts became actions and I started ruining the whole relationship myself.

We just broke up 10 days ago, she's still a colleague and a friend. But it seems that we have lost the connection, like she has become colder and we are running out of things to say.

I really love her and never cared for any fellow human being like this before. Please teach me how to win her back and get out of this depressed pile of mess I am in.

Work on yourself. I don't know if this will bring this girl back(as you describe it, for the time being most probably not), other more advanced and competent people here can guide you better on that- but whatever happens, you need to build a strong inside when you meet this or any other girl again. Meaning know what you do and why you do it, get answers to the fundamental questions of life, know yourself as a human being, how thoughts and feelings work and what is their connection and how you work them together. What is a woman for you and why you want one and how you want to be with her. Don't let yourself mess it up again. Learning PUA tricks and techniques and make all kinds of mistakes and poor behavior after you get her will only make it worse.


Best of luck, I hope you make it.

She had like a dozen different men going after all, but still I managed to stand out. Through my life, I didn't have any difficulties with women - always been the charming fellow who knows where the wind is blowing. I haven't had a real relationship for a long time, and seeing how I evolved and how different my behavior when I was with her and when I was courting her were, it really upset me to no end.

I entered the relationship with good intentions to, wanting to make it work. But I was selfish, insecured and possessive - and I guess that worn her out. I'm terribly remorseful and resolve to change myself - I guess those undesirable character traits were really part of me, from my failed relationships and my past. But of course, I was after her I only showed my best or playing the game as some of you might call it.

I know that there are internal issues in my heart which I must resolve, and huge question marks I must find an answer to. But this being the PUA forum, I really hope I could get a direction - what's next? What should I do? How should I play with the cards I've been dealt?

Because God knows.. given 1 more chance, I'll get this done just right...

Just for the record...
Anyway, you screwed up big time. You need to find other chicks for the moment. You must know that you have options because otherwise you will behave needy.

I'm not against staying friends with exes eventhough most people here are. But if you want her back, that's very bad tactic. She needs to miss you. After some time and after you've banged some other chicks, if you still want her back you can reinitiate contact.

Start very casual, then shift to very high energy level very quickly (in a day or two). Then be casual again. Repeat this until necessary. Maker her wonder what are you up to. If she's not curious she will flake on your each and every attempt.

If you manage to meet her, forget any romantic BS like bringing her to the place where you met and anything like that because it's fucking WEAK. A best date would be where you could do something active to avoid awkward silence but you could also escalate and you should be able to manage logistics if things get hot.

DO NOT START PLANNING THIS NOW!!!

Right now focus on your primary objective(banging other women).

If you manage to win her back, or find another girl: Drop the jealous BS. It's of no use. It's weak, it shows you're insecure, you don't trust her, and it gets annoying very quickly. Cheaters will cheat regardless of what you do, there's no point in giving women even more reasons to do it.

Peace.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Good advice, man.. but you said 'after some time'? How long exactly?

Because she is a workplace colleague and we have a mutual good friend.. how should I act when I inevitably see her?

She was very ill yesterday and I brought some lozenges and food to her place after work... is that weak too? If she comes to look for me to talk about stuff in general, how should I respond? If she comes to me for support, how should I respond?

After some time is pretty relative for anyone. I don't know you. I don't know how long it takes for you to get over a girl. It also depends on how successful you are with bringing home other women. I think I wasn't clear enough. You can only get her back when you are over her. Ironic, but it works like this. That's why I also told you to right now stop planning ahead.
Just don't talk too much. Saying hi is fine. Besides, avoid communication if you can.
Yes, it is weak. If you had brought some meds because she felt ill that would have been just a kind act, but bringing food and candies? wtf? She just knows that you still want her. She has all the power. Be less available!

Make yourself busy so you don't have much time to talk about stuff in general. And I think you're not the one to support her. You're not her friend. Get that shit out of your mind and get busy with gaming other women.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Really appreciate your inputs.. Hate to be apart from her but if that is what it takes..

Funnily, I knew at the back of my mind that I must first get over her, work on myself as a person before I could even stand a chance again, but sometimes that shit is just so hard to do..

I got some plans coming up with her, e.g. company movie event - she's my movie partner that night sorta.. should I go? This was arranged post break up..

Also, what should I do if she asks me out for dinner and stuff?

How about simple stuff like texting her? Should I stop texting her altogether? Should I reply if she initiates?

We go to the pantry every morning together, she would either ask me or vice versa (be it when we were courting, together or post breakup)... should I end that? Should I respond the next time she asks me to go to the pantry?

Geez. Relax, man. I was trying to just give you guidelines and not be too exact. And I was doing that conciously. You are thinking about this too much, and you're making this a god damn big deal and it is counterproductive in EVERY POSSIBLE WAY.

Next time you'd ask "Should I look at her in the eyes, or avoid eye contact? Should I wear the shirt she told me is her favourite or just put it in the dumpster?"

You are doing the complete opposite of what I have told you, and you're still focusing on HER. How to behave with her, how to behave in front of her, should I go with her, should I text her etc... STOP CARING ALREADY.

Focus on YOURSELF.

If you don't stop fooling around like this it will take quite some time to get another girl and you can be damn sure you'll never dig this pussy again.

Next time ask YOURSELF whether you should text her or not after you have brought home some hotty.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct