Its a pretty long story, but I want to get to the core issue as quickly as I can.

I met a girl this semester in school, we started hanging out soon after we met and she was basically in love with me and this lasted about two months. I had some sort of internal conflict of why I did not want to date her, so I never pursued anything more than just hanging out together and having sex.

I finally came to terms decided that this chick is fucking awesome and I want to date her, but she became distant just about at the same time. Anyways, I ultimately found out that she kind of gave up on me and started to have feelings for someone else.

So basically she didn't really talk to me too much for about a week. She had feelings for a foreign exchange student but now he has moved back to his home country. Sunday I called her to wish her happy birthday and we went and drank all night for her birthday but I could tell there wasnt much interest to me besides being a friend. We have been texting a lot more now and I just went and played soccer with her for an hour and we layed on the grass and bull shitted for another hour.

I'm pretty much in love with this girl at this point..but I don't think she has feelings for me any more (im not for sure though) because i'm 99% sure she still has feelings for this foreign dude who has moved away.. what the hell do i do?

Do I take her fishing, camping and hang out with her as much as possible to see if there is a chance once and for all?

Or maybe be a little distant for a bit to see if it sparks an interest?

I'm just not sure what to do at the moment, I will admit i'm definitely am experiencing one-itis.

Ahh, oneitus. It's like heroin addiction. Your like a heroin addict who's asking us how to stop using heroin. The short answer is.. just don't do it. However, heroin addicts never take that advice. So then we say, "try these other drugs that aren't heroin.. because it's better than doing heroin." (i.e. go fuck 10 other women). Sometimes this work. The best advice is to distance yourself, mentally, from the object of your oneitus for awhile until the effect lessens. People with addictions do really stupid and self-destructive things. Hopefully we can help you avoid that outcome.

Having said that, in order to get this girl back.. right now you need to do as little as possible with her. Focus your attentions elsewhere for now. Raise your social value by developing a better social life (if anything, invite her to cool events, as a "friend"). Surround yourself with other attractive "friends". DO NOT supplicate, pour your heart out, etc. Now is not the time to appear emotionally weak, optionless, and heartbroken. Do not verbally discuss dating or getting back together. Instead, be cool about it all, remain a friend (and act like it.. don't treat her like your girlfriend), and, if the sex was good, she'll want to sleep with you again when she gets bored with the new guy.

Hopefully that helps.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Wolf you are a stud thanks for the honest input. I kinda figured out last night , and what I figured out happens to be exactly what you mentioned. Glad to read it from another.

Thanks again,

-Nick