| Alright people, I will structure this thread by firstly talking about myself, my ex gf, and then the dynamics of the relationship.
It will be a long post but I feel it is a topic which is not usually covered in the forums. I always found people questions and pleas for help very useful and maybe after this post some other people will find this useful, so I appreciate people's effort in replying to posts.
Myself:
Okay I am almost 20 years old, currently in a good university, and I am future/money orientated with my plans already set out on being successful. I really hate Uni, the social aspect of it but my goal in life is not women or girls, it's simply to become successful first, which I think most men/boys don't seem to understand firstly. Firstly, i am a muslim, and have a cultural background so i would hide any girls and my relationship from my parents and family. I have known about PUA for 3 or 4 years now so I have a grounded understanding, and before I when I was single, I would be able to get a girls number quite easily and I was confident and respected, I basically quite enjoyed the thrill of being single.
So I have been in a relationship for 3 years, I can say I have enjoyed every moment. However there have been times where I feel very nostalgic about my old self, about how I used to be so confident around girls which slowly diminished as the relationship developed. I became less confident, less quick and it just become harder for me to talk to girls. I know it is myself to blame, because I didn't practise sarging or game. I concentrated on my relationship and my studies. But there were moments last year I would finish Uni, go back to my car and on the verge of tears, I would think about how much I hated Uni, and how I missed my old self. I'm not sure if this would be because I really don't understand myself, or know what I want, or just being nostalgic. It is my first question to you guys, what is your opinion on this? I have had huge family problems recently with my parents divorcing, and it's got quite messy that I have had to pick my dad up from the police station, and have witnessed him becoming violent towards other family members. This may be a factor towards my current state.
My ex-girlfriend:
She is a 7, and I met her in school. She was one of my closest friends all the way in school, and once I found out she had the hots for me, I knew exactly what to do because of my PUA knowledge. She is very grounded, low/medium self esteem, good relationship with her father, her parents relationship seem stable and healthy, and she rarely drinks, if anything she doesn't drink. She also dislikes the clubs scene. I make her out to be a social recluse but she isn't! She is a charming and caring girl! I knew that if I was to get into a monogamous relationship, I would have to tick all these boxes.
The relationship:
Now this is the main question in the post. My relationship with HB was great, I knew how much she appreciated my company and how caring she was to me. She would always think of me, and she admittedly said that she thinks the world of me, I'm the first thing she thinks of when she wakes up, and last thing when she falls asleep. She would jump lengths to ensure that I was happy with her and no other girls would make me happier. Of course, I understood relationship game, and kept a strong frame etc. but as the relationship developed, she began to isolate herself from all her old school friends, maybe this was just her growing up though, I'm not entirely sure. She still has "friends" but not someone who she can rely on dependently. I was the only solid and stable thing in her life apart from her family, and she knew and valued this.
Thing in the relationship were great, very rarely any shit tests etc. however I did notice my social skills decline, and it bothered me however I kept going as I knew it was only my problem and I still valued the relationship greater IMO.
So of course you guys know she is now my ex, and of course we have broken up! We broke up last week, because she was unhappy that she had to hide from my parents all the time, and was generally unhappy that she wasn't accepted in my family. I didn't quite understand why it would all of a sudden upset her, as it was not as if we were getting married!! She had been fine with the circumstances before, but now it bothered her. It might have been due to someone telling her a story of a boy leaving a girl suddenly after 9 years because of his family differences- this may have scared her. Anyways, we brushed it under the carpet as I just took it as a shit test. However, it cropped up again, and she was even more upset about it. I couldn't change the way she felt, and neither could she, so it had to end somewhere. We both agreed to end it, and of course I was upset, I just took it as a test of my emotions and got on with things, however if she did come calling I would take her back.
Now here is what is complicated. I met her out of randomness yesterday after no contact for over a week. She goes to the same gym as me and that's how we bumped into each other. We chatted for a couple of hours, and went back to the car to chat some more. She says she misses me a lot, but still feels the same way about not being able to meet my parents. However, I wanted her back, but didn't make it plainly obvious although I have a feeling she could tell. We ended the conversation with her saying that she still wants to speak to me etc. but later that night I texted her saying that it's maybe best we didn't speak for a while, to give each other a chance to move on.
Deep down its not what I want. I do want to get back with her, but it's just my personal pride and relationship knowledge that's holding my urges back. Although it does make me wonder if the external factors of my parents accepting her being different, and where we would be.
Now this is what's up, I LEFT MY FUCKING GYM BAG IN HER CAR!!! So there is a chance there if to get back.
This is where I need you guys expertise and advise on what to do. I really appreciate yous taking the time to read the post, and will take every word of advice seriously!
|
CHAT