Hey guys,

Been a member here helping others out with they relationships but now I do need help from you...

After 2 years with my girlfriend, she dumped me 2 days ago after ignoring me for 8 days. The 9th day before she ignored me, she told me she loved me, she wanted to live with me, get kids in a near future, marry me, etc...

Unfortunately, i've discovered with time that my GF/ex has a mental disorder that "f*cks up" with her feelings. She always have doubts and "downs". After 2 years, she dumped me ON THE PHONE! Telling me she doesn't know if she loved me anymore...

There are phases to a relationship:
Phase 1. Passionate love
Phase 2. Real love

Phase 1. Passionate love is loving for sex, for good looking, for intelligence, for what the other has and how he/she gives you attention & affection. This is an automated process in your brain! (stays 1 year to 3 years MAX)

Phase 2. Reduction of feelings, reduction of libido, acceptation of the "wrongs" and "goods" of the loved one, less attention, less affection, unconditional love basically. (If you happen to reach this phase, you can succeed to stay with that person for a dozen years easily)

To pass from phase 1 to 2, you have to accept everything. You will have doubts that you don't love the other one anymore. But if you quit that person, it's at that time that you'll see that you really loved him/her! So you must ask yourself some questions like: "would i cry for him/her", "do i still want to take care of him/her", "are you 100% honest with him/her", "is complicity always there", etc.

The problem with my gf/ex was that she wasn't able to make the transition from phase 1 to phase 2. And with her mental disorder called "bipolarity", it's even harder!

I know what I want. I want a girl that knows what she wants, that knows that will be able to make the transition from 1 to 2, that will be mature, intelligent and great in bed (so hard these days!).

I still love my gf/ex, but I know i'll be more happy without her. Because with all her doubts and her "bipolarity", it will just keep going and she would dump me every 3-4 months. I am pissed of that, it breaks my heart every single time...

Basically, I just want some tips to forget her after all the fakeness and bad things she's done to me. Should I drink? Should I f*ck with an other women? Should I... etc

Thank you guys,
From a broken hearted MPUA "Relationships" member :/
-Jean-Michel Mailhot </3 :'(

P.S. i still love her, but i dont want to even try to get back with her, because she would break my heart dozen of times...

I have good reason to suspect my ex-ex-girlfriend is bipolar. She started ignoring me after we went long distance, I stopped pushing, got on with life, started pulling other girls and then suddenly a couple of months later she is getting jealous about me having lunch with a female friend. A month after this she is INSANELY clingy, upbeat and happy, giving me little nicknames and texting me three times to every one I sent.

Then two months after this, she doesn't know if she ever wants to see me again. That was six months ago and now she talks to me and says if she ever came back to England she would want to be with me. Her grandmother is bipolar and she has some serious ups and downs.

Pretty much every girl is bipolar to some degree because they are ruled by their emotions.

Omg guys that's exactly what's happening right now!

That's how it happened for the past few months... In doubt, then not in doubt, then back in doubt, then not in doubt, etc.

Lots of people & friends told me that I should just give up on her, even if she tries to get back with me! Because a girl like that is made to break your heart till you have no heart anymore.

Are they right? :/

I don't even want to get back with her because she would break my heart over and over again and THAT HURTS!

It's bloody difficult, because when they're on a "high" its incredible. They're the most electric, powerfully attractive and vibrant people to be around and their company is pure charismatic joy.

But when they're "down" they can be cold, rude, withdrawn and generally unpleasant. My girl once got pissed off because I was being affectionate, whereas when she was up, she would sometimes cry at the thought of us being apart. I got the feeling I was just a nuisance when she was down, so I stopped talking to her. If I did she'd constantly pick apart what I said and vet it for anything negative she could use to get pissed off at me.

Crazy chicks, not really relationship material in my opinion.

It hurts so much guys... I only loved 2 girls in my life, the other ones were only stupid girls so basically they were frequentations..

But this one I gave her everything to get dumped after 1 year and 8 months like dog pooh.. 8 days and it was over -.-

shit, this is like my thread all over again... Experiencing a very similar situation. 2 words. Move On. When you move on, she will come back to you, then you have the power. And use that power to not take her back. She is unstable, and as hard as it may be to leave. LEAVE.

Omg thank you man, this is probably one of the best answer I could get.

I love her, but I know it won't work out because she is unstable...

That's pretty much all you need to know. As long as you realize that , you can pretty much look your heart-brake and other negative emotions in the eye and let out a powerful "FUCK YOU".


Go NC and move on. Even if she does come back , I doubt you want that kind of mind-fuck in your life.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

What you need is a girl who's so reliable you can depend on her like a clock. This girl is not her.

And don't drink.

_________________
"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploa ... e-want.jpg

Well, been there (actually still I am, so i know exactly what you are going through...

Long story short: 2,5 years serious relationship. Started ignoring me out of a blue, and couple of day later dump via text without explanation (also 7 days earlier she loved me, wanted to get apartment together, blah,blah)... We went complete NC for 4 months. Then she wanted to meet me, so we met. She was crying, begging, making lot of promises, and tried to convince me she changed. First we became FWB but she was insisting on getting back together as relationship... I love her, and after awhile i agreed... It was great month and half, like when we started... And now she is gone again... No explanation, nothing... She just doesnt know what she wants...(fun part is that this time she didnt even dump me at all ) Well, it hurts, but far less then first time...

I m quite sure that she will be back again, but no matter how much i love her, she can go to hell

So yes, your friends are right... And she will try to get you back as soon as you move on, but as soon as she catch you, you ll get dumped again... As rough operator said, when they are "high" they are amazing, but when they are low they are pandora box of pain...

Good luck m8

Don't blame her for the bipolar disorder. Many smart and successful people have this disorder and yet are in successful relationship.

The second phase you mentioned is a phase where she has to decide to bond with your activities if you have any. It is at this phase where she will imprint part of your signature sexual and spiritually. Which means, she'll follow you and do things with you. If you say, I'm going to the moon tomorrow, she'll go with you without pause or dive deepsea, she'll go with you without hesitation. In this phase, DO NOT invite her to come. Rather wait until she asked to be invited. But sometimes we fear pushing them hard out of their comfortable boundaries and play it safe with what she likes the most activities wise. No contact works only for awhile, but it really works most effectively during the beginning of the relationship like in the 3 to 6 months period, because then it pushes her to want to be included in your life rather than a separate life she's comfy with. Re-shaping her life to yours is your conquest because you WILL ALWAYS way ahead on your own life so this distance is the natural attraction that WILL NEVER END. No need to continually and artificially next her. If you let it slide to 2 years, she's already set in her ways towards you that she isn't willing to invest time in your hobbies or your aspiration anymore. What happens next is that, a month or so later after you make up and a few fuck fests later, she will become bored of you and realize why she left you.

Well, actually right now she blocked me from everywhere and doesn't answer my texts, emails and phone calls...

She told a friend of mine that with time, she stopped loving me and she was continuing to "fake" it because she wanted to continue to love me... But we all know that some women are unstable and can't make the difference between passionate and real love.

We are both in debts and have been for the past 4 months. We hadn't had time to go dinner in a restaurant together or anything like that. She thinks that she stopped loving me, but actually WHAT I THINK is that she just needed more affection & attention to "revive" the fire in our relationship.

But you know how girls are! Instead of trying to revive the fire, they just give up, ignore us and think it's all dead and gone -.-

I wish one day i'll find a serious girl that even if it don't work out after some time, we'll both make efforts to make it work and invest like crazy into our relationship. My gf/ex didn't invest anything into our relationship, and as soon as a guy started to try to pickup her, she was shy as hell and so intrigued because she has no friends AT ALL because of her mental disorder...

But anyway, it hurts so much right now guys... I just can't eat i'm not able to! :/

JM, let me point out a few things to you:

1. Don't use your real name on here. You don't want people to be able to Google you and find you are associated with this forum. Conversely, if you make enemies on here, you don't want them to be able to find you. I was able to find your FB, bro. Not cool.
2. Your FB is quite sad. You are posting heartbreak stories for the world to see. As an alpha male, you should be bouncing back on your feet and appear unaffected. Even if you're not, you shouldn't be giving the world impression that's what you're going through. But it's okay to talk about your heartbreak to people close to you.
3. Why are you still contacting her? She is ignoring you. So ignore her -- plain and simple. Move on. Go out and explore other venues. Your girlfriend was cute but you can do better.

Cheers.

_________________
Before she can respect you, you need to respect yourself.

Well, as you can see on my fb I don't have a lot of friends... Those are people i personally know and casually see from time to time...

I'm more of a "lover boy" than an "alpha male". I don't wanna look rought if i'm not, I always show my true feelings and I loved that girl pretty hard.

Thank you though for the tip about my real name, but idc really xd. I have nothing to hide, I help people in the relationships forum, I don't go with pickup tactics or anything like that :p

I try to move on but all my friend work at night time on the week, and i have debts i cant really put money into clubs and bars. My gf was cute right, but 185 lbs for 5'9' is kinda "fat" to me. That was the only thing that bothered me xd (she doesn't show her belly on her fb pics).

But yeah, if I could forget her in 1h, I would pray god to give me that chance. But i'd liked the keep the sexual experience though haha!