So it been a year and 2 months in a casual relationship

first few months... i treated her pretty badly and I was totally in control and could call her up whenever and we'd have great sex

about 7 months in I get a bit needy and she seizes the chance. She starts shit testing me and I end up going along with everything and then I'm in this needy position and everything is on her schedule.

I tell her I want to take the relationship to the next level and make it serious and not just casual. even though I can tell she really really likes me deep down she keeps saying shes not ready to commit and all.

We end up a few weeks later having a fight. I lost it and told her thats the end and goodbye.

A week later she calls me up saying she misses me etc etc.... I call over and we have the best sex ever

2 weeks later shes back shitting on me, little sly negative comments and overall making me feel bad. she really knows how to get me angry. also no sex because its the period and i'm resorted to the odd hand job.

what is the point anymore..... she really likes me when I'm a man and treat her badly.... she hates it when i'm needy and she knows she can control me

so.... I become a man any never show emotion and what she just falls madly in love and marrys me? I can't keep up a charade like that for a lifetime. i want to be able to openly express mutual love? too much to ask?

If you can't get what you want or be yourself, its probably a sign to move on.