Sorry for the long read guys but I really need your help and opinions!

So me and this chick have been at it for 9 to 10 months, I've spilled my guts to her at least twice, once before when i was completely wasted telling her i love her (then by the end of the night ending up behind a del taco without a shirt on) and then another time i broke down because we just recently opened a shop and she saw topless pic of some chick we had a photo-shot with (I was also fucked up out of my mind that night and broke up with her telling her i'd only hurt her..btw ive told her this numerous times before)...well anyway drinking has been one of the problems i resolved, but I also begged her to get back at me.. but lately ever since that breakup, i feel she hasn't been the same...

So ive felt shes been ignoring me and pushing me off to the side..honestly like shes trying to forget about me, but when we see each other, she gets that look in her eye like she wants to mack on me, love me, and have the D all in her face.. and recently i took her to a view had wine and a heart-shaped pizza for valentines day, then that sunday i took her to santa monica for sushi (real afc right? I consider myself a natural but idk why i had such a feeling to do this stuff with this chick) anyway since then, she doesnt really talk to me on facebook ,and doesnt return my calls...even earlier i had to call her twice to see if she wanted to hang out, but she sounded busy her family with, so i told her another day...she said she'd call me back. but she hasn't (that's the recent example of when she's left me hanging)

fuck, now that iv'e typed this out and read it.....I feel pretty pathetic...give it to me straight guys, don't hold back... any suggestions on what i should do?

p.s. she accused me of getting a vibe i was cheating at the end of the Santa Monica date...

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LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT!

When I've been in a situation with a girl that wasn't returning my calls as often and slowly drifting away, my pursuit of her just pushed her further away. I would advise backing off, doing your own thing for a while and see if she comes round.

alright rough operator, i gave her some space. but on the second day she sent me a message on facebook "i hope your day is going good *insert pet name* "

i didnt reply, a couple hours later she posts a poem on her not loving me anymore..I called her but she didnt answer, its cool i kept doing my thing and began going to the gym with my buddies. I was sure to post that on facebook and tag them (they did the same)...

So a day later i see more activity on her facebook, and she doesnt post anything for another day..so i decided to put up one of my old pictures that i knew she really liked (it also got positive attention from other girls)...later that day she deletes her facebook page..cool, she has a blog so i check it..something about her having problems and being depressed..

So by this time i felt like i pushed too hard so i go to her house (ive never even as much rung her door bell or properly met her dad) her dad answers, she comes to the door and we sit on the steps outside..i didnt give her too much attention didnt call her babe, and was only as responsive as i had to be..she grabbed my hand and was laying her head on my shoulder..i get distracted by her dad and some dude installing the cable and start talking to them..at the end of the meetup she hesitates kissing but seems like she still wants to, so turn around and change the subject, turn around back and give her a kiss, she explains to me shes been going through some things, I tell her we should hangout (i think this is were i tripped up) but anyway I feel like im too busy to hangout out..I feel like i should ignore her and wait till she calls and tell her i cant hangout

I also feel like throwing in something like this.

" I feel like you've been acting strange and distant lately, I know your stressed because of school and your parents and also because your getting a new job, but i don't think that's a good enough reason to not give me the love and respect i deserve....we should give us some time and see each other next weekend"

What do you guys think? Am I on the right path this?

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LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT!

Guys, NC is used ONLY effectively when you fucked up, not after you fucked out and trying to reel her in being needy and clingy. The moment you sensed she looses her high interest in you is when you use NC, but sometimes where you're stoned out you can drag this a bit more but you're still safe. If you post here, my guess is that her interest in you will probably be around 51% or maybe 40% because I think you know this because once you start making accusations like cheating etc; it's usually near the end.

I suppose you can do NC only to get her back for the moment. Here's the deal. If you NCed her and keep your mouth shut because that's what making her dislike you in the first place and if you know she has feeling greater than on your 5th date, you may be able to get her back. It's a slow patient process, but you can do this but it may not be the same high as you guys were before the fight, cause you guys made some dumb accusations which may or may not turn out to be true. But hurt feelings can not be replaced by NC. If you are cool with this, then go ahead and do it. If not, then walk away.

If your relationship is beyond fixing and she does come back for you and have sex with you, remember that this won't last because the hurt you caused is still there. She might be there for you only to hurt you back later when she gets her new man.

When a woman is giving you a distant cold shoulder feeling, NEVER EVER provide any ammo for her to close off the relationship. Women have egos too you know and they rarely dump men that they said gave them the best kisses and sex in bed without a reason. Usually, it is men who give the reasons by trying so hard to reel them in or accuse them of cheating when in fact, she just needs some space or break time.

Dude, you're problem is NOT looking needy or AFC.
You've messed up in the relationship, I suspect cause of the drinking and the top less pic. She probably doesn't trust you. She even said after the date she thinks your cheating. You hurt her so she was taking a step back. Now if you do NC, you will only give her more doubts and suspicions and you will lose her.

You've been together 10 months or so, just talk to her. Saying I love you after 10 months isn't AFC, in fact if you haven't said it by now you will make her doubt if you're serious about her. Quit playing games and trying to play alpha. Ask her what's up and have an honest conversation. If she doesn't have a good reason such as trusting you for not calling you back sometimes, tell her that's not acceptable and respectful to you.

Figure out what page both of you are on, don't WANT anything but to find the truth out about whats going on.

thanks for the reply neo, although i read it too late i feel like i acted on half of what you said and I think your right in the sense that saying i love you isn't a bad thing in a long term relationship (especially after 10 months), but i still feel like running game on your gf is sometimes necessary to stay dominant and interesting. The whole alpha thing, it defiantly felt it went somewhat well in this case.. I mean it could just be common sense of not turning into a ball of mush afc and crying to her every time she gets moody (which i admit i felt like doing before i came back to this wonderful forum) and more like having some self respect. I also feel like she's still bruised from what happened before, but at the same time she needs to learn to accept that ill always be surrounded by element in my career..(btw that topless incident was at least 3 months ago)

So I went to the gym today, did my thing and got out at around 9 (mind you i usually call this chick at around 6 and pick her up at 7 because she cant be home later than 12). I told her i totally forgot it was Friday and that it was too late to hang out....i didn't state a next time because i still feel like i need to keep her guessing, i haven't said i love you or called her babe again just because i sense she needs to say that first?

Other than that the conversation went well, i tried not to show too much emotion and speak more than i needed to..It was pretty relaxed I led the conversation and avoided negative topics and tried to bring sexual topics as often as i comfortably could. the topic of jealousy came up, reminded her of the times she got jealous, then she started to talk about the guys she's had to brush off lately (good indicator?) and afterwards the conversation went along the lines of "I'm only dating you because your funny" i said, "well at least i have one good quality about me" she quickly drew back with "haha im just kidding" i heard her pause and she said "your not funny" i replied, "i know your just dating me for my good looks" blah blah blah..ended it with a "ill talk to you later" than a "ill talk to tomorrow"

It felt like it went pretty well..felt that interest and connection from her again, which is good because last time i saw her she was totally cold, non compliant, and just didn't feel "there" (very close to break up, i mean i was about to say what do you think about our relationship..that would've been a fuck up).

I guess this has been a learning experience?
I guess i feel like i had lost alot of power in the relationship...what do you guys think?

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LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT!

This is why PUA is terrible for relationships. Too much emphasis on being a tease and playing hot and cold games. In the beginning it can spark interest, long term it leads to failure.
Men are stable. Women are the emotionally all over the place ones. As a man, a woman is MOST attracted to dominance, to you being a ROCK. When she's mad, sad or life throws curveballs your way, she has to feel like you're not going to bend or break. You can be in love and still have a purpose in life and she knows that you're a ROCK. The PUA definition of "Alpha" often suggests being aloof, which is NOT alpha. Alphas know what they want and take it. They want a girl, they take her. They want a job they go for it. They want to cuddle, they say "I want to cuddle" and lead a girl to the bedroom. It's simple.
Women LOVE to think about things and look for meaning behind stuff. Sure, it sounds like it builds attraction, but if you keep you're gf guessing stuff, often they'll come back with negative assumptions. So keeping them guessing all the time, leads to ATTRACTION, but negative emotions that build up. She may be compelled to win you over, but she'll also be assuming you're cheating or not really into her. When she keeps thinking these thoughts, eventually she'll devalue the relationship, cheat herself or just get tired of the whole thing.
Let's look at it from her POV. She already thinks you may be cheating. She's probably already afraid of getting hurt again as she has in the past. She may have thought she was seeing you or talking tonight. Now she feels rejected because you didnt come and you didn't say love you or babe. So now she's thinking, he may have someone else or just isnt into me alot. Beta guy at school or work or wherever, chats her up and offers a date. She thinks," well my bf is probably cheating or he doesn't love me, so I need a backup in case I get hurt." She gives the guy her number. Next time you do the same thing, she goes out with him for drinks and gets fucked.

Being a man is about having a purpose and doing what you want. We are the initiators. We open girls, WE make the move for the kiss, WE are the ones who escalate for sex. That coldness you feel from her is her getting tired of guessing games and negative emotions.