My girlfriend has a tendency to talk to her friends when something bad happens between us, which didn't bother me at first because most girls do that... right?

I found out she talks to her friends about me in a bad way because once her friend threw out my jacket, I asked my girlfriend why it happened and she then replied it was because her friend was pissed off at the way I apparently treated my girlfriend. I accused of my girlfriend talking about our arguments to her friends, and making out as if she is perfect and I am the devil (her friends would look it like that anyway) and she never really denied it.

I told her that she shouldn't talk to them FIRST. I told her she should speak to me if there is a problem, because we are adults in a relationship, and part of that means working things out. I told her that she needs to tell me if she has a problem with something I've done, rather than keeping it in, then bitching about me. She's young and I am her first boyfriend. I know she can be naive about things sometimes and her talking to her friends is just a way of making herself feel better. She understood what she did was wrong and she said from now on she'll discuss things and become better at communication. She said next time we argue, she will sort it out with me and me alone. I know she will talk to her friends, I accept that, bui I don't accept her doing it in such a way that makes her look so innocent before even trying to sort it out with me.

That problem is now over and we've moved on....

However, the other day really took it too far, because we argued and she talked to a friend that I consider a friend as well! (I know this because, and this will sound bad lol, I saw a message on her facebook with my name on it, I had to click on it as I was way too curious and saw the whole conversation). I not only feel betrayed by my friend, since she told my girlfriend to dump me (I do not care about my friend though, I care about my relationship) so I am quite annoyed at my girlfriend. She talked to someone that I know... about me! That's just rude. I would never talk to someone that my girlfriend knows about her, would I? It was not innocent talk either. She was bitching about me, making me look terrible once again, making herself look innocent and it has really bothered me.

So my question is what should I do, and am I right to feel pissed off?

I've already brought this up with her and it felt like we got it sorted. And this time it's even worse because it's with a friend that I (used to) consider a friend! What could I do?

Your girlfriend sounds like a drama-queen. She also sounds like she doesn't treat you very well. I personally wouldn't tolerate a girl who was trying to poison my friend group against me. Hard next. I'm just too old to put up with that kind of stupidity. The alternative is to ignore it completely and not let it bother you. She thrives on the drama and she's not going to stop. There's not a whole lot of middle ground to work with on this one.

Just my 2 cents.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

She sounds needy and insecure. She's seeking Drama and all of the negative re-enforcement from her friends will make her leave you. Sorry man, sounds harsh but it's the truth. You set a boundarie, she crossed it. To preserve your dignity and self respect, I would leave her. Maybe she'll see she's missing out on a great guy and smarten up, maybe she'll move on as well. Regardless you don't deserve having to put up with this mess you call a relationship right now. You're a PUA and an Alpha. Act like one man.

Cheers,
Confidence.

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I don't f*ck fatties

I respect your advice but I really don't think she did do it to create a drama... After all, she did not expect me to see what they said.

This is spot on.
She may not intentionally create drama, or even be aware of it, but she does it anyway. More importantly, she is now actively sabotaging your relationship. She not only disrespected you by talking to your mutual friend, she also disrespected you by breaking your mutual agreement. I'm sorry, but I would also advise you to get out of this relationship. Incidentally, that would also be better for your reputation than if she takes the friend's advice and breaks up with you (i.e. mistreated girlfriend finally breaks up with big bad bully).

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One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.

Just to let you know, she did not take her friends advice. This is something that was sorted out a few days ago, but has now come up again because I saw the message.

Listen to Wolf, read his post and quit trying to argue with something that is spot on. Whether she takes her friends advice is irrelevant. You saw a problem, you laid out your rules. She broke them. It's irrelevant whether she takes the advice her friends give or not. Just hearing "he's such an ass, you could do so much better" is just validation to her. It's the same thing as having guys slobber over her, or a million other ways to get validation. This is simple. You laid out how you think a relationship should go. If she cannot work within that frame, then you're just making your life harder than it has to be. You seem to be looking for reasons why you should tolerate piss poor behavior. Hard next her, maybe when she gets older and grows up some your relationship could be better. You won't help her do that by enabling her to not have to change.

Fact. He's asking for the truth. But doesn't want to actually hear it. The irony is, me and wolf basically said the exact same thing (2 minutes apart) - yet he won't listen to it.

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I don't f*ck fatties

Lol. Why the assumptions about the girl???Drama queen?? insecure??
OP, first, what are these arguments about? Why do they get to the point where she has to talk to other people. Could be that the she's a drama queen, could be you're abusive or something.
She could be crazy, but why are you having arguments. Whatever is going on, your gf feels the need to talk to other people about the relationship. Your own friend telling her to dump you signals that maybe YOU could be bad for her. People aren't stupid. Your friend should have an idea of who you are. If they're telling her to dump you it's because you're doing something that even with the benfit of the doubt you look terrible. My gf and I argue and she does the same with her mom. Her mom hasn't met me yet never says to dump me, because even if her daughter leaves out the bad she did, I still wont be crossing the line where she would think I'm a bad bf.

A friend, especially your friend wouldn't tell a girl to dump you because of something stupid.
If I'm being objective, you read her fb. That's not an accident. Your name was in it? You have to click messages to even see a short preview of what the message was. You were snooping. Can I assume you may be controlling. Yes. Your friend even dogged you.

Thanks neo87, I wanted someone to suggest me being wrong because I aim to improve myself, and can't do that if I assume the girl is always wrong.

I believe I am controlling at times, but not as bad as you probably think lol. She is new to relationships so I try to guide her more than control, and yes sometimes it can mean I come across in the wrong light. Plus, if I have done something wrong, it does not mean she has done something right does it? If I am such a terrible boyfriend, why is she with me coming up to a year? Yes the argument was bad, but it was because of an accumulation of things rather than just the one. It was quite a bad argument, which mainly involved me not replying by phone or text because I did not want to say anything I'll regret, so if she wanted to talk to her friends that would be fine also, but to speak to someone I know felt slightly worse.

This friend is not exactly a great friend. More like an acquaintance, but she is also more like an acquaintance to my girlfriend as well. Which makes me wonder how come she releases information to people she barely knows that well. We both know her, but we are not exactly close to this friend.

Hope that gives you more of an insight.

She may or may not be a drama queen but if you want her to talk to you about her feelings instead of friends then you need to shut the mouth and open the ears. Even if you don't listen, agree and tell her you understand. It will be weird at first and she might not know how to handle it but if you do it long enough she will eventually trust in you. Empathy is the key, you'll see that when you listen without judging that she will give you more and more in return.