Hi guys,

Before I met my girlfriend this time last year I was a young careless and was having a lot of fun with women. I was not thinking of anything apart from myself. I was on my work placement/ gap year. Then, i met my girl at this place where i did my training. ever since, i knew shes the perfect woman for me, we had so much similarities in life, family and for our future. I took her out every night to places and spent a lot of time with her.

then I had to go back in England where my normal life is. We then decided that we are going to call our relationship official.

However, I don't know why but I have this feeling of shes not that in to me. I though If a woman love you, she will always have some time for you, to speak to you via SPAM for example. We did fight a lot and mainly because i thought she's not giving me enough attention i thought i deserve.

We had a big fight just over a month ago, and she was willing to loose me. Until, i became a right needy and told her i will step back. Basically, handed her all the power. To be honest we are ok now, but the thing that bugs me is that she is not putting the effort that i think she should put to keep the relationship working. I always tried to make the effort of creating something fun for her e.g. sending her flowers and other romantic stuff.

Now , she's starting again with her new job and again it seems like i am not part of priority. she's saying we cant SPAM as she have a lot to sort out. but if a woman really love you she will always make a way to speak to you right?.

please advice me where i am going wrong and what i can do to make her want me. I am tired of me putting all the effort and all i want is for her to put the same amount of effort...

I had women falling inlove with me and i know the psychology when women are inlove, but her action is not showing me the same.

I am also getting tired that every time we talk she always say that she's ill all the time (which her past boyfriend had a problem with)

I am not writing this to manipulate her but to make the relationship better as i genuinely care and love her.

what do you guys think?

OP sorry your relationship took a sour turn. I think in some ways I am dealing with this on a lighter level. Me and my gf had a fight tonight and I am doubting if we are going to get past this one. Anyways, I think when you said you gave up all your power for her and bottomline if you are not ok or comfortable with that it will be tought for you or her ultimately to be happy in your relationship. I think what happens over time in a relationship is the sparks die out and you are left with what you got. A lot of people are addicted to the rush of meeting someone new and dealing with that part of the relationship, but once things simmer down they loose interest quickly and stop putting the same effort into the relationship.

I would say, you have put in the effort and despite your feelings for her it might be a good idea to start going out, socializing and getting yourself prepared for the worst. Not everyone will agree with me on this one, and would argue that if you trully love her you would fight her, but I think that is approaching it through a submissive veiw point and I think in my oppinion women are not attracted to that. They may say they are but they really aren't. After you have made a valid attempt at getting her and she doesn't show the same it is time to show her what she is missing.

I think I might have to take a little bit of my own advice. Good luck man!

Exactly this. Always have a good back up on the bench