She was late, so I shut her off



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 6:00 pm 
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My girlfriend of 7 Months is never on time for 80% of our meet-ups. This annoys me as when it comes to relationships I plan things thoroughly, moving some appointments around so that I can see her and then she rocks up late. I've told her how this irritates me and I don't appreciate her having no respect for my time. So these are three recent events that involved her time management:

1) I was getting her a facial (the spa kind) and a manicure and I told her to get there at 12:00. She does not make it on time and after 20mins of waiting I give the receptionist the cash for her facial and Manicure and then walk out. She arrives an hour late, asks why I left and I tell her "I can't dedicate my time to a person that has no respect for my time. Enjoy your spa SPAM."

2) Last week she was doing her Learner's Licence test and she got there an hour early. I surprise her by being there all the way and she shows great appreciation for it.

3) This morning I told her to be at my crib at 8 o'clock since I wanna spend as much time as possible with her since I'm busy and today I was super free... She sends me an SMS at 8 o'clock telling me she won't make it on time because she wants to clean and hasn't even bathed yet. I tell her that this is unacceptable and she must just forget about coming over all together. She replies with an angry emoticon followed by "Ayt, it's cool. Let me go back to sleep"

I honestly feel that she has no respect for my time because if she can make it early for her Learner's Licence test then she can make it on time for our meet-up. It's not about her not having good time management, it's about her not valuing my time.

Was I too harsh? Where do I take it from here? Should I send her an SMS telling her why I did what I did or should I freeze her out and wait for her to make the first move?

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 6:07 pm 
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Its a difficult situation bro, you have every right to demand respect from her and she should be more considerate of your feelings. However she seems to take you for granted, you've given her too much and now she doesnt appreciate it. My suggestion is to back of a little, or give her some of her own medicine. cat string theory dude. always keep her on her toes


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 7:42 pm 
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She just initiated 4 interactions in the past 15mins on Facebook including a message that said "But baby I love you!" on my wall... My instincts are telling me to just ignore her and go to sleep. My bedtime is an hour from now anyways (Central African Time). Seems like the day-long soft-next got to her but I'm not looking for temporary satisfaction, I want this problem to be gone forever.

She stated more than 10 times that she sees a future with me however I can not allow a time waster who does not value me be a part of my future. And yes, I think that anyone that does not value my time automatically means that that they don't value me.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 5:40 am 
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, I think that anyone that does not value my time automatically means that that they don't value me.
Word.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 1:31 pm 
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Two types of people in the world: The 15 minutes late person and the 15 minutes early person. One will always be late for everything. The other will always be early or on time. Guess which one she is?

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 10:35 pm 
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Forcing your expectations on to other people isn't going to work. Letting her know that it irritates you is fine but I think you're going to have to accept that this is just the way she is.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 26, 2013 5:33 am 
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Forcing your expectations on to other people isn't going to work. Letting her know that it irritates you is fine but I think you're going to have to accept that this is just the way she is.
being late isnt personality trait or physical. so its unacceptable.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2013 2:58 am 
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Forcing your expectations on to other people isn't going to work. Letting her know that it irritates you is fine but I think you're going to have to accept that this is just the way she is.
being late isnt personality trait or physical. so its unacceptable.
My point is you choose to accept this person and their incessant lateness, or you leave her. Trying to force her to live by your rules will only have negative consequences, by all means communicate to them that it frustrates you and you would prefer that she pay more respect to your time. Saying "She has a problem and she MUST change" won't achieve anything.


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