Hey guys,

I'll try to be as concise as possible to make it easier for anyone who'd like to reply. Anyway, I've been with this girl for over a year. It started as a one-night stand, so I wasn't planning to make it into a relationship. However, as time passed by, we were seeing each other more and more. I told her I'm not ready for a relationship, but I really liked her and treated her as my potential girlfriend.

She's a beautiful and very cute girl, but the problem is, she's always seemed very secretive (gut feeling). So after about a year (me having trust issues because of being cheated on before), I went through her phone. I've hated myself for going that low, but I just had to. So, I've found out she drunk slept with one of her friends after a party. We were still not a couple, but slept with each other on a regular basis. Anyway, I confronted her about it and she started lying. After a few questions she admitted (in tears) it happened. I realize we were not exclusive at the time, but after a year of being in love, I feel like a fool for being with her.

When I confronted her about it, she said it was nothing that had to do anything with us. It was a drunken mistake and before I told her I want to be with her. Everything is okay, except for the fact that I don't trust her anymore and it makes me feel sick it was so easy for her to do it while she was already sleeping with me. To be honest, it makes me want to puke every time I remember about it.

I wanted to break it off after finding out, but crying and certifying that I'm the one and only, made me stay in it. Now, a few months after finding out, I've been saying to myself that she's always been lovely to me, and it's no reason to break up. However, it's still there, in the back of my head.

All in all, I still love her like crazy, but I'm just thinking if it's not just too toxic. There are other few character traits that bother me: laziness, lack of courage in life, dependency on a man and general weakness. Things that are actually the opposite of a woman I've always dreamt of.

So, now, what do you think I should do? Should I keep working on it, or just move on?

Thanks in advance for your answers.

Well, you said you weren't ready for a relationship and you weren't officially together when she slept with her friend whilst drunk, in all honesty I don't think you can really let that simmer for too long.

As for the other issues? If you don't feel like its right then break it off for her sake.

About the cheating thing...it's complicated. Think about it. If you were drunk and some chick was hitting on you you'd probably do it too.

I cheated on the only girl I ever loved.I felt absolutely nothing while doing it.It was like a revelation...that's when I really understood how much I wanted my girlfriend in my life.She never found out about it and I never even though about doing it again.

I would understand if she cheated on me too. You can't be attracted to only one person. I guess I just believe in second chances.

If you fuck up once , yeah sure ,I'll forgive you if I feel you deserve it. Mistakes are a great opportunity to learn. If you dont learn shit and do it again,fuck you,I deserve better.

Literally every successful marriage had a great fallout once. People most times need to almost lose someone (or actually lose them) in order to truly realize what they have.


A'right,about the other stuff my advice is to never settle for any less than you wish for.Life's too short to not pursue your dreams.It won't give you second chances.

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