Hey guys, I've been dating a girl since early september and while I know this isn't a long time there was a time that I felt a very deep connection with her.

On Saturday the 8th we went to her family Christmas party. On the ride home we were on our smart phones looking at facebook and I made some comment about not knowing one of her friends smoked hookah as well. As a bit of a backstory she had recently gone from only doing it once per month to wanting to do it weekly and I had been constantly telling her how bad it was and how I would prefer she refrain from the increase in usage. Anyways, when I asked her about it her mother who was driving asked me why I didn't like hookah and whatnot. I told her because it was tobacco regardless of the form, and she apparently didn't know that and told my gf that she didn't want her to start going weekly as well. When we got back I apologized because that was not my intent for what was to happen and she seemed like she forgave me.

The next day I took her out to go get our picture taken with Santa and whatnot and she was pissed at me about now having to hide hookah from her mother. This is where I made a mistake. I told her off saying that she had no right to be angry with me after I had done all of these things for her and put up with so much(she lied to me about previously smoking weed daily, she lied to me about previously having blown a lot of other guys, she lied to me not drinking, and I helped her with hw, was always willing to change our date plans to accomodate her, and put up with her crazy father). Anyways this led to a larger argument about me not understanding how she wasn't willing to not increase the hookah use for me being concerned about her health. She ended up crying and wanted to go home(also said I'm starting to feel like more of a father figure than bf), but I convinced her to still go out that evening and we ate dinner, I won her a skill crane animal, and we walked through main street under christmas lights, but afterwards she was still not feeling good about us. I suggested that we take a week and go out 3 times and if after that week we both didn't feel better than we'd break up and she agreed.

Next day at school she acted weird during lunch and wouldn't let me kiss her/touch her then after 6th hour she broke up with me despite our agreement. The day after she broke up with me I had skipped school to go to a college portfolio check(I'm an art student), but I stopped in briefly to give her the christmas present I had bought her and a 3 page note apologizing for trying to control her and some other stuff, but mainly that I had taken her for granted and said how her smoking things doesn't affect her as a person and that was what I truly cared about.

She texted me later that day and said "Matt. I need time." to which I just said "OK". She also texted my sister that night saying that the bracelets I bought her were beautiful and that she felt like an asshole. What I bought her were two bracelets that were engraved; one with a heart that had "M" engraved on one side and "T" on the other(our first name initials), and the other that said "Christmas 2012 <3."

I have had no contact with her since this day other than one day later that week I asked her friend if she was thinking about things and she didn't tell me much, so left a drawing I made her of a squirrel which said "Finally caught you one -Matt." She always jokingly wanted me to get her one while we were walking in the park early in our relationship.

My sister thinks she actually is considering it because she likely would have given me the bracelets back otherwise, but I'm worried if she was just giving me a polite no. What do you guys think?


CLIFFS
-gf wants to smoke hookah instead of 1/month to 1/week and I pester her about it
-at christmas party drive back her mom finds out from me that it's tobacco and rages at gf
-gf is mad next day and argument ensues
-agreement to take week and breakup if not happy after that is made
-next day gf breaks agreement and breaks up with me
-day after I give 3 page apology letter and christmas present since we had agreed that we'd exchange presents regardless(though I still have not gotten mine!)
-get text back that says she needs time

I'm 18 and she's 17 btw

In my opinion, you telling her how you feel was not wrong. Maybe being in a public mall was a bad idea but whatever. She lied to you about a ton of shit man. She is not a good person I dont care how you rationalize it. If she lied about all that, how can you trust her with anything?

Secondly, Do not ever apologize for sticking up for what you want for yourself. I you want her to stop smoking so much then stand your ground. DONT WRITE A 3 PAGE LETTER SAYING YOU ARE SORRY!

Thirdly, stop drawing pictures and being a needy AFC. Just stop talking to her. Stop giving her gifts and letters and drawings and shit. Cut her from your life outside of friendly hello's at school. That is how you will get her back.

But as a question, with all this shit and how much she has lied, and her drug use, do you even want her back?

This is not a potential ex, this is an ex. You can't fix it, and you shouldn't want to anyway: a girlfriend is not someone of whom you have to "put up" with things. I suppose your intention is to protect her, but by telling her what she can and cannot do you are actually limiting her freedom. A relationship is supposed to make both parties happy, and in this case, neither of you seems to be particularly happy with how the other person really is. So don't spend any more time or effort on this girl, and move on to girls that actually like the same things as you.

_________________
One of the most useful things you will ever learn about body language.