I have been in a relationship with a girl for about 3 months. We both love each other and have a lot of great sex 4-5 times a week almost always at her place where she can be as loud as she wants. My landlord lives directly above me and I have pretty thin walls. I also have a couple of attractive neighbors (with boyfriends) that I have been friends with for over a year and often still do group activities with that my girlfriend has no interest in.

Last night we were having sex at my place and she was getting a bit loud. In the middle I heard my nextdoor neighbor (a different girl) come home so after my girls next orgasm I figured I better stop. She later asked if I had came and I said "No, I kind of lost my concentration when my neighbor came home." She later took me into my bedroom to "get me where I needed to be" and I said she needed to be more quiet this time. She didn't like it but I kept saying it while we were having sex in a way that I though was turning her on. At least she waited until I came but as soon as I did she started flipping out on me that I was trying to hide her from these girls (which I haven't.) I explained I was just trying to be courteous. We argued for a minute or two and she stormed out and went home.

Whenever I do an activity without my girl she always wants to know which, if any, girls will be there and grills me about these girls. She also usually says have fun...but not too much fun. I have continued to DHV myself and work out more than before I met her. I know it is important for her to know if we broke up I could easily find another girlfriend but it always seems to add drama to our relationship. This drama stuff is a bit tiring to me but if it is what girls really like, I guess I am willing. It just sucks when it is going on so I guess I just need some reassurance that it is all worthwhile.

Not sure what your question is, in that paragraph you wrote...I would make it up to her, for her thinking I was hiding her...take her out with you when you go and hang out with these other ppl. Show to her by what you do to her that you don't care whether or not ppl know she is with you, be sexual in front of the group with her and she'll understand...make sure you show to your gf that you can have anyone in the group you so choose, somehow, through kino and so on.

Another way to fix your situation, what I would do personally...figure a night she'll be over your house...and tell your landlord in advance that it is a very special day and that you don't want to ruin it, so it might be a bit loud, in your apartment...I own my house, in the back I have a deck and pool with a jacuzzi...right behind us though are my neighbors...with a deck on their house that can see into my yard (even though we have a fence and everything) and I just told them that on certain days, or nights it's best if they stay away from the back 2nd floor deck they have...they understood and since then I can just have sex with ppl without a problem, in broad daylight outside because I have already set my neighbors up to understand what goes on on my property, so every time I leave two drinks on the table, as a hint to my neighbors they go ahead and do whatever it is young married ppl do.

Your landlord will appreciate that you are watching out for their interests by telling them that something might happen on a certain night...and well on that night, let your gf let it all out, have the bed hit the wall, slam against the bathroom door and etc. Make it the worst night for a landlord who lives above you...that way when you're normal every other time, and less loud they'll remember it can be worse.

That's about it...

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I am who I think I am, and who I am, I am because I think I am who I am= Your thoughts define your actions and your life.

I don't really know if I have a question except the message title: "Why is it so important for her to be afraid I might cheat?"

I just need some reassurance from my peers that DHVing myself and continuing to do things to keep my girl a bit jealous (and a little crazy) is worth it if I want to keep her for the long term. It definitely seems to be working at the 3 month mark as she is really into me and the sex very often and really great. She is intimidated from all my sexual experience and she loves it during sex but then worries about it the rest of the time. I have been Alpha from the moment we met (a first for me) which she does love when I'm with her but it seems to add to her insecurity when we are apart. This causes her jealous side to show and creates drama in our relationship.

I just want to make sure that all this added drama is a good thing?

There's no need to continue doing this. If I understand it correctly, you are still coming up with DHV stuff because you are worried she might lose interest otherwise? This is a relationship man. Stop manipulating her

Isn't it important for me....For her to know that if we broke up I could easily find another girlfriend?

Maybe I have misinterpreted some things on this forum or gotten the Relationship stuff mixed up with the other stuff. I don't think I have played games with her or made her feel like I "Could ditch her at any second and date X girl." What I have done is continued to be friends with girls (that I have not slept with) from before I met her. I have only 1 close friend who I slept with long ago but I have not seen her since the night I met my girlfriend but I have not been willing to just toss out a 10 year friendship with a girl that started as a casual fling for about a month but has been just friends ever since.

In the past when a girl would ask how many girls I had been with I would have made up some small number but when this girl asked I figured the truth (about 65) would be the better way to go. Was that right or was that wrong?

I will talk to my landlord beforehand about the noise thing and don't think he will have a problem with it as long as it isn't in the middle of the night. I did have a long talk with my GF yesterday about trust. She says I have not given her any reason not to trust me (I have not cheated on her or lied to her) and she needs to learn how to trust me when she is not around. She talked to a friend about it and her friend told her she thinks the reason my GF doesn't trust me is because she doesn't trust herself. She has a history of cheating (which I do not.) I did say "Aren't cheaters usually the most suspicious people?"

You're already dating...and you are already having sex when you want to have it, and you said its good...

There is nothing wrong what your relationship. Except...you are probably still doing some things that manipulate her to want you...

You already have her...no reason to dhv yourself too much anymore...BC over doing it will lead to it not being important....

You know that saying...too much of something makes its benefits go down, oh it makes its benefits go down! The saying I just made up now...but its factual. Now just clear your head, make her feel happy and good inside and well...thats all you really need to hold a girl.

You have 1 girlfriend...so you're worried and thus have to reassure yourself with your DHV's.and other gimmicks you may have up your sleeve.

Want to know a secret? A big secret, that people just never follow but is EXTREMELY EASY if you think about it...

This is what ppl pay $$$$$ FOR. And its SOOO SIMPLE, that people don't understand it if you don't write an entire ebook on it with a few hundred pages...

And I'll tell you the secret right here...

Girls want to have fun as much as guys do. They want to have sex as much as or more than guys do (STATISTICALLY PROVEN, (i'm a statistician to an extent)). Offer them FUN, and GREAT feelings, and you'll have them FOREVER.

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THAT IS IT...Fun and Great Feelings. Don't let the romance fall, don't argue (arguing is not fun), DO NOT DO ANYTHING you or she doesn't like TOGETHER...UNLESS you can turn it into something FUN... IE washing the car...I hated it...now it's fun ...take what you don't like, and change it, and lead her into it...

THE SECRET IS: OFFER FUN AND GOOD FEELINGS, whether MENTAL or PHYSICAL. And you will be the man! ...That last line is what I have ppl pay 49.99$ for

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I am who I think I am, and who I am, I am because I think I am who I am= Your thoughts define your actions and your life.

so that she can cheat too.

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How to Attract and Seduce Women

How to Attract and Seduce Women page

Thank you so much for this lagron.

I was looking for reasons "why it is so important for her to be afraid I might cheat" because it often doesn't feel right, seems counterintuitive and causes drama. I now know that it is not so important so I can tone down this type of behavior. I think completely stopping everything would be a too beta.

She says she needs to learn to trust me so I will do my best to keep earning her trust. I know security is at or near the top of the list of things a woman needs to love a man so doing less of the DHV stuff seems like the logical next step. For some reason I thought I was supposed to keep her on an emotional rollercoaster which I guess is more for before you sleep with someone than for a committed relationship. Is that right?

What exactly is beta about this statement? There are 3 statements there. Is it the 1st, 2nd or 3rd or the combination of all 3. I am all for constructive criticism. I am trying to better myself and any advice would be appreciated.

three types of relationships I've had with girls. First is very close to what your girl thinks is going on and got me a fucking stalker.

The example will be Crazy Liz.
I met crazy liz on the internet. She subscribed to my Xanga site [props if you remember xanga]. On my site I mostly wrote about my day and talked about how deeply in love I was with this girl [who wasn't liz]. On liz's site she would talk about how guys were screwing her over and how upset she was. I'd give her pointers on what sorta guys to look for and which ones to look out for. But never actually showed any signs of interest in her myself [cause I wasn't into this chick]. She figured I must be this perfect guy I kept describing for her and telling her to look for and asked me out.

I say no but hang out with her instead. I don't try to kiss her and don't really even bother touching her either, I'm just being me telling jokes and doing nice things for people. I acted like a niceguy around her, opening doors, listening to her problems and shit, actually caring about what she had to say, but I just wasn't into her and she knew it. So a guy who's actually being nice and not trying to gain anything of it, an actual nice guy.

Eventually me and her start dating after like the 7th time she asked me out [almost frustratingly exaggerated and said 50th, but in actuallity it was most likely the 7th time]. I kinda felt bad for the girl and got tired of saying no and wanted to get laid [hadn't really worked out the concept of fucking a chick I wasn't dating back then]. I never called her, nor did I plan up times to hang out and do shie when she called me. It was always her asking me to spend time with her [mostly cause I just didn't care]. A few times I completely forgot and stood her up to go do something like go to the arcade and play DDR [which kinda made her feel like shit].

She'd always go out of her way to show me that she loved me and do all this shit to get me to like her more. She's complain to her AFC guy friends that I didn't call her enough or ever plan dates with her and wasn't always interested in sex etc.. And I'd intentionally do something to get her to break up with me. Then she'd eventually ask me back out and this went on back and forth until I got tired of her and found her a boyfriend who actually gave a shit.

Point is, when I didn't give any shits about this girl and she thought she could lose me she was going nuts for me. Doing everything to make sure she had me. I understand the psychology but don't feel like diving into that right now.



Then there's the middle ground.
Deb is an example. I met this chick at the mall when i was workin' at Friday's as a server. We both liked each other and started dating. We could talk for hours about anything and everything and really connected. I don't remember who asked out who but I don't think she does either and it didn't matter. We went out to Friday's cause she said it makes sense if I get a discount and she liked the food. I was broke that day and said I couldn't do it and she said she'd pick up the tab and don't worry about it.

In our relationship we never really fought and didn't worry about who was sleeping with who. We were pretty god damned happy with each other and broke up cause she had to move away.


And then there's the uphill climb.
I've never been in this situation with a girl I dated but I've seen it and it's fucking ugly. I've been near it with girls I'm interested in but I generally bail out on this nonsense, there's other girls around.
Basically it's when you're in Liz's situation. You're dating someone who doesn't care. If you break up they don't give a shit and go about their lives unmoved. If you try to make them jealous they congradulate you on whomever you hooked up with. They never call you and don't always answer when you call them.

You've apparently done nothing to hook them in and it's really not worth it.


I kinda just went on a ramble there, but hope that helps.
You don't gotta fuck with your girls head to stay with her unless shes damaged goods though.

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I feel like the point of a community is to help where/when/however u can.
-Aceospades12

this is normal female behaviour, but its your job to handle her and tone it down if she gets out of line.

i dont see anything wrong with your relationship.

shes probly the typical girl, and needs reassurance that she is in fact wrong about her ideas that you were doing this for that reason or that for this reason. this will build the trust

as for the rollercoaster question, i struggled with that too at one point.

its especially difficult in the early stages of a relationship when your transitioning from "ok i attracted her and now im dating her" to "ok now were in a long term commited relationship" and your not quite sure how you shuold continue to act, since you want to ensure she stays attracted and since you attracted her in the first place, you want to continue what you were doing.

this is one of those things that happens to guys who learn Pickup after years of basically not knowing about it. because they basically change a bit of who they are (for the better) but if you were never in a long relationship, and its unchartered territory, you kind of get confused of what to do becuase the whole attraction/relationship process doesnt seem natural

youll get thru it.

Clear what you've read above...

There are these things no fluff, or talk, just fact.

1. Offer a benefit, make her feel good.
2. DHVing is good, seems like you've done a bit too much of it, tone it down a bit.
3. Show that you are okay with being sexual with her in public, and also show that you can be a potential mate for another girl.

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1. Solves 99% of the problems.
2. Keeps them interested.
3. Lets her know you're a man with the possibility to choose another if she doesn't work to keep you.

That is all you need. You have the above, in a sense, BUT, you have 1 issue, her insecurity. Make her feel secure.

That's it.

_________________
I am who I think I am, and who I am, I am because I think I am who I am= Your thoughts define your actions and your life.

Yes, now that I look at that it does seem like quite the beta thing to say. Old habits die hard!

Update: After this latest drama that this topic was started for we have talked a lot about trust and shared more about mistakes we have made in our past relationships. Her attitude has really started to change for the better. We have been saying the "I love you's" for the past couple of weeks. Friday she took my out for a very expensive birthday dinner and at one point said "I love being in love with you" so I must be doing something right. Earlier that night I showed up with a gift of my own. I got her a remote control wireless egg that she was willing to put inside her at dinner but unfortunately it came uncharged so we still haven't been able to use it in public yet. Soon, very soon...