Urgent i really need some advice!



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2012 11:33 pm 
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Basically my girlfriend has had this bestfriend that she has been bestfriends with for about 3 years now. She broke up with me recently because she thinks she is in love with him and doesn't know who to choose. I really love this girl and i just don't know what to do (we have dated for 6 months). It's really hard to be put in this position because i find all i can do is wait for her to choose and there is nothing i can do about it. She says she hasnt chose yet because she doesn't know who she loves more. She gets to see him everyday at school while i see here 1 time a week maybe 2. I live in a differnet erm city? i live 20 minutes from her though so when i have gas i can see her. But mainly i just have no idea what to do we have been broken up for 4 days now and are still talking to each other she hasn't moved on yet she still loves me so maybe there is hope? Any advice?


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:12 am 
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Let her go budy...its simple she is leaning more toward the other guy or she would have picked you. The best thing you can do is tell her you don't want to be with someone who is not 100% sure about you, and that you don't want to waste your time on someone who is not going to give you all that you need.

Then cut contact with her, if she say's no she wants you tell her to take more time to think about what she really want, no one can make a decision that fast, I would even encourage her to date the other guy if she really feels like there is a connection. I would also tell her your not an option you deserve better and your not waiting around for her....at this moment you are making it far to easy for her! and acting very afc!

yes this will be difficult, yes might be upset, but why be with someone who is not 100% into the relationship? your just going to get hurt in the end if you do.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:00 am 
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Yea im trying to but its hard just to let her go i can't seem to say it i told her last night i want to say my goodbyes to her but she got sad and said that would kill her and i just couldn't she said if she chooses her friend she stills wants to talk to me and im like i'm sorry but i just cant do that i can't be reminded of you at all even right now im depressed as fuck and it seems like you just crush my heart and don't care. I think ill just give her time to think though. What does afc mean?


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 5:05 am 
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Man you have no hope if you let her decide what she want...are you not worth more than that? she's going to break your heart! stop telling her how much you care and just walk away....if she really loves you she will come to you, and when she does you make it clear that you are not a 2nd option, tell her to cut the other guy out period. If she say no than walk...

(afc) average frustrated chump

Ever guy acts like one at some point in their life, but learn from your mistakes and don't let it happen again.

You need to do your homework! you need to realize that she is playing with you right now


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 5:23 am 
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yes this will be difficult, yes might be upset, but why be with someone who is not 100% into the relationship? your just going to get hurt in the end if you do.
I know leaving a relationship that means a lot to you can be really hard. It can seem like nothing in the world will ever be as good as what you had. You need to listen to Dark One though, he's giving you really sound advice. It might seem like a scary thing right now, but you'll definitely meet someone better down the road. If she's not 100% into the relationship right now, she won't be in a week or two. Just keep your head up, tell her that you need to stop talking for a while so you have some time to move on. And if you learn some game correctly, you'll have a beautiful girl around your arm the next time you run into her ;)

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Hank Moody: Life is too short to dance with fat girls.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 6:02 am 
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Alright thanks guys really helped me alot im going to tell her we need to quit talking tomorrow she is asleep ill just move on and if we are ment to be she will come back. I know 1 thing one day she will realize how much she misses me and if its to late and ive moved on im not going to give her a chance she's fucked my life up to much already atleast right now i've never been depressed before and she was basically the first girl i've really loved. Only had about 3 girls before her but im only 16 and wasn't into relationships that much back then bc of all the drama they cause but i have a full life ahead of me and im not going to wait for her


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 7:45 am 
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Congratulations, this is the way to go! Very good mindset! You have to stick to it, no matter what. You might find yourself going through all these different, often opposite emotions in the next weeks/months, don't give in to them. You will miss her, but tell yourself it's ok to miss her in the beginning. Try meeting new people, especially new girls. Talk to as many girls as you can, just for the sake of conversations and to keep your mind occupied.
If it helps, keep this thread alive and post updates on how you feel. There's so many good ppl in here who give solid advice.

You are only 16, this is a good thing. The earlier you learn to walk away from something addictive which doesn't make you truly happy, the better. It will help you in so many more situations, even non-girl related..

I am over 30 and I have been in a very, very similar situation just recently. In my case the girl came back after a month and convinced me to try it again. But nothing really changed... The third time I walked away, I had finally learned to STAY away. Don't wait until you are 30 to learn this stuff! Now go talk to girls and have fun, find interesting things to do. PM me if you feel like it.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:03 pm 
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Good job budy! it won't be easy, you will want to talk to her but after a while you will get over it...move one. My ex of 4 years and I broke up, it was terrible! but now I'm realizing at this point in my life its better for me to be single, I'm working on my self, have a new job that I love! I'm going back to university at 25, I'm dating other women, its an exciting time in my life.

If she wants to be with you she will come to you and make it happen, she will put in the work necessary to get you back, and if she doesn't than that's not the girl who you should be with. Work on you now! better your self because at the end of the day you should be your 1# priority!


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:07 pm 
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wow your only 16!!!! man don't even worry about a relationship right now...focus on being a kid, go have fun, focus on education. The girls you date in high school (and I emphasize the word girls) you won't even talk to 5 years from now.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 7:33 pm 
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First off YOUR THE PRIZE and if she can't see that then she can get lost! What she's saying is she likes you enough to keep you around in her life and would miss hanging out with you but she also enjoys manipulating you and playing you and this other guy off of each other, ok. These are stupid highschool games...but you dont play games! She is either with you 100% or shes not with you at all. You refuse to be 2nd place or tied for 1st. When she treats you like this withdraw all your attention from her. When she treats you good reward her! But she must believe that you are the catch, only if she treats you right is she allowed to be with you, and if you are not given respect your gunna walk! Trust me you teach people how to treat you! Have pride and most of all know your the shit!

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"If I tell you I'm good, you would probably think I'm boasting. If I tell you I'm no good, you know I'm lying."-Bruce Lee


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 9:00 pm 
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Thanks guys.


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