I would like to know how you guys get out of that seemingly never ending rut that follows long/medium term relationships.

ive given myself a month to 'grieve' but now i need to be snapping out this feeling and getting back to normal ASAP

It's not easy dude. I've had a number of medium/long term relationships, some more serious, some not. All are difficult to get "out of" mentally.

It takes time. Depends alot on the relationship, how close you were, etc. Sometimes you can't speed it up no matter how hard you try, but usually the best thing to do is just to get on with your life. Get busy. Do stuff. Do anything. Go meet up with friends you haven't seen for a while. Take up a new sport/activity/interest. Meet other girls. Go out and get social. Do stuff just for the hell of it, and before you know it you'll have moved on. Keep yourself busy.

Good luck.

Best thing I can think of is avoid all contact if possible. delete her number etc so you don't feel like calling or texting her that drunken text that we've done at least once in our lives.]

Keep yourself busy as possible, do extra curricular activities such as running etc.

Wach the video below. It was posted here in a similar post a short time ago.

2 pieces of advice I have for you. #1, game chicks. It serves more than one purpose. First, sucess brings back your swagger, and second, it forces you to get involved in little mini relationships upon which your attention can be focused. And if you're focusing on some new challenge, you're not focusing on the heartbreak.

The bonus occurs if you actually game a chick who has potential to replace the one you're hurting from.

It also helps me not to ignore what I'm feeling. Knowing why you feel a certain way gives you the power to change how you feel. I used to feel like my feelings were out of my own control, you just feel them until something changes how you feel. But you have control of yourself, and you feel what you focus on. If you focus on how bad it hurts that you lost someone, you'll make zero progress. But you have the control to focus on something else, you just need the will to do it, and the know how to assess your feelings, acknowledge them, and move beyond them. It takes work, but I can tell you from recent events, it's well worth the effort you invest in it.

Good luck.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-pzefexjQ8

about that...we spent 8 months together (long for me) and we have 2 more years in the same university with 2 lectures together a week

You two aren't married and you don't have kids together or share a home. This may be complicated, but it's not complicated.

Sit as far away from her as you can. Don't hang around before class starts or ends. Just always be on the go, a busy man who's focused on getting an education when he's on campus and having fun when he's done with his studies. You are paying to go to school, and she's independent of that.

It's a probability you'll bump into her. If you do, be nice. It will be over in 15 seconds and you can go about your way. You're going to be fine.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

Regardless of whether or not you want her back, getting over her is a must. And I'm of the same opinion as these other guys that staying busy is the key. Join a club on campus, go to the gym, meet new people. All of these things are essential in keeping yourself busy, and thereby moving on.

But yeah man, totally get where you're coming from. I just got dumped by my gf of 8 months for a combination of shitty "reasons." i.e, she fell out of love with me, the distance was too hard, and most importantly that I'd found out she was cheating