Long fucked up shit.
Me and my girlfriend have had a healthy relationship for one year and about 3 months. We both love each other and are always keen to see each other. Sex is great, everything is good. We have had a few 'fights' if you call it that but nothing ever really serious. It was an awesome time for both of us. But as good as all this sounds, she got more and more clingier as time went on. Just little things like trying to check my messages to find things from other 'girls' when I wasn't looking and calling me on my boys nights out... everything was good though. I always had control.

Yesterday, we had a fight and I tried to call her but she didn't answer so I left her a message saying that I 'think I need a break. Need to talk, call me.' I waited a bit, but was buggered so I went to sleep. She went out with her friends that night. Next morning I wake up to about 15 missed calls and 7 voice mail messages and 9 text messages saying all this crazy shit like I miss you baby and I love you, please don't dump me, all that crap. You get the idea. We were talking throughout the day today and she said she had something to tell me. She kissed another guy because she was scared she needed to replace me or some rationalized shit. I called her up and said we are done, don't come back... 15 minutes later she is at my doorstep in tears begging me not to dump her, hugging me saying how much I mean to her ,loves me and that she has never met anyone like me. It was pretty pathetic.Long story short, I tell her I can't do this anymore and that she has to leave. She refuses to leave and says she will do anything and that she is so so so so so sorry. She says she wants to be fucked and hugged putting my hands all over body, I refused. I got aggressive and told her to leave and that she fucked up. If only it was that easy. This girl is obsessed with me. Gamed her hard since day 1. She said that she was going to hurt her self. I knew she wasn't lying. She is shaking. We chat for a while, I try to calm her down and she is crying all over me. I eventually break down and cried. First time I have ever cried in front of her. First time I have cried in years. Don't know why I did but we had sex. I just fucking dominated her. She is all emotional and shit crying during sex saying she loves me. She orgasmed about 3 times. After the sex she breaks down again. I said to her 'get out but promise not to hurt yourself'. She looked at me and shook her head. She was going to fucking hurt herself. I know she will. She is a mess. She is depressed. She leaves and just sat in her car for about an hour crying. She left me a text message when she got home saying that her 'whoreish behavior is no excuse. I need you and I love you more than you can imagine. Please please think about it il give you all the time you need.'

For the first time in my life I don't know what to do. I know cheating is a slippery slope and she should be fucking dumped. But this is more serious that I thought.. I know that she will hurt her self. What the fuck do I do now?

Any comments would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you gentlemen.

You are dating a validation seeking "freak". She is the type of girl who will do or say anything to get and keep your attention. They tend to take things to extremes and they are the type of girl who's most likely to cheat on you. They do NOT make good candidates for serious long-term monogamous relationships unless you are somebody who enjoys drama and/or doesn't ever get jealous (plus has really solid relationship game).

Just say'n. If your goal is long-term happiness, then you should probably let this one go. At the very least, you should try for a friends with benefits relationship and start seeing other girls. You should not vocalize this. Just start seeing her less often and making yourself less available.

Just my 2 cents.

-Wolf

_________________
Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

Sounds to me like she's extremely emotionally dependent. I suggest you read up on it. I was actually going to post my own topic on this subject because it seems likely to occur if a guy actually games a chick, and makes a bad choice on who to stick by and allow emotional attachment to grow to an unhealthy level.

I have to think the best bet would be to rip the bandaid off. Make a clean break, and stick to it. That is unless you still have feelings for her and want to commit to helping her figure herself out and make the relationship last.

both of the previous posters hit the nail right on the head.

i would just add that she is an adult and you are not responsible for her actions.

the whole "if you leave me, i will hurt myself" is the ultimate form of manipulation.

wouldn't you feel dumb if you stuck around and tried to "love her" into emotional health,

while she was fucking other dudes behind your back?

either way, she has proved that she is incapable of controlling her emotions on any sort of healthy/sane level, which means that - yes, this works out in your favor when she is doting all of that affection on you.

but how does her not being able to control her emotions and impulses work out when you are not around? or she is mad at you? or she is feeling impulsive?

i would venture a guess and say "not so well". she will have other dick in her very quickly in those circumstances.

freak, indeed.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

There is no one crazier than the girl who threatens to hurt herself.

My friend's girl pulled this on him once. He broke it off as cordially as he could under the circumstances. She would text me and say, "Stop taking him out to meet girls", when we were sitting around drinking beers at my place and watching "Game of Thrones".

She would call his phone and when it went to voicemail, she'd ask, "Who was that bitch that just called me from your phone?" Needless to say, there was no call. No bitch, either.

Props to you for staying strong, but prepare yourself for the crazy.

_________________
"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

My ex was very similar to this, and I handled it in a very similar way as you did. All I can say is, in the future, when you say to someone "It is time to take a break," all bets are off. She did not cheat on you. She had every right to kiss another dude because you gave her permission (we need a break) - just because you want the cake and you want to eat it, too, doesn't mean you are in the right here. Of course she didn't handle it well, but you can't hold that over her head.

Now, having sex with her after she was begging you to take her back was your biggest mistake. To her, that means you accept her apology. She used sex as a means to coerce you into compliance, and you did it. So what do you do now? I can't recommend continuing on in the relationship. However, I disagree with Wolfwoodd about trying to turn this into a friends with benefits situation. Trust me, I tried to follow through with that in my previous example and it backfired miserably. She will be too clingy and emotional to accept an open relationship. And, while it may seem like it is working for a limited amount of time, you don't want the emotional fallout. I'm thinking a clean break is probably your best bet.

_________________
- Lux et Veritas -

My ex girlfriend from 2 weeks ago went bat shit crazy on me because she couldnt have a fun night out. Her girlfriend brought her along to a clud she was assigned to work at. Long story short, it was a creeper bar in the middle of nowhere. She was angry as fuck, i had to pick her up. She was downing free drinks. I drop her off at her girlfriends house to get her car, she's going ballistics at this point. Cursing and shit. WTFFF. Gets in her car. She speeds off, rams the front of the car in back of her while reversing. OMGG. Rolls window, curses more at me.

Next day... she claims to recall nothing of this.

Heres the kicker, when I tell her about it, she confesses to have seen a shrink for 2 years for anger issues.... WOWWWWW.

Nuff' said.

_________________
Easy to dream a dream, but much harder to live it.
I learned working with the negatives could make for better pictures.

I had a friend who had the same prob. These girls are acting like a mess and thay say alot of things to get you back. But for the most its just words. I say you tell her what you feel and be sharp. If you fall for her pathetic behaviour she is just gonna continue. Shut her out my man!

_________________
Mahalou!

if your'e actually concerned about her hurting herself than talk to her family/friends.

But either way you gotta dump her, for your and her sake.