Hey Guys


So i cheated on my girl friend, on the first week we went out. She found out after 5 months but i only cheated once and regret alot. She is taking it hard, she saying that she is finding it hard to forgive me. She still wants to go out with me.

Btw, she's trying to get me to beg for her.


what should i do ??

Thanks Guys

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Life's too short to dance with ugly women

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first thing is first, that was a dumb ass move! I'm sure you already know but cheating is just about the most selfish, disrespectful things one can do in a relationship. But I am sure you now realize this.

Now what should you do? go into damage control, sincerely apologize, let her know that it was a one time thing that was very stupid, selfish and you now realize this. Assure her that it was a long time ago, and it will never happen again!

I would also tell her that you understand if she no longer wants to be together, I would tell her you totally understand, and will not try to change her mind, however if she decides that she wants to be with you, you will earn her trust back.

She might never trust you again 100% so realize this and it could be the breakdown of your relationship. She also might start to resent you and cheat her self, this is something I would talk to her about! I have seen this a million times! people think "well he did it so I get to do it".

Talk it out with her, tell her she can say what ever she wants...in this case you are the one who fucked up so you have to do the work to gain her trust back, cheating is about the only time that I will tell a guy he has to do some ass kissing! she is probably feeling very insecure right now!

p.s No need to beg. You just have to express to her that what you did was wrong, selfish, and that it will not happen again! If she wants to check your phone let her, if she wants to check your facebook let her, but don't beg! if she wants to dump you always agree and let her go.

Well, you have to sincerely apologize and talk with her about how this will impact the trust relationship between both of you. Good news is that she is willing to stay with you, but the decision is hers, and as stated by Dark One, you will have to understand her choice (think about how you would behave if she had cheated).

Good luck man.

i would give her permission to go revenge bang someone.

just a random grudge fuck to get it out of her system.

then, if she passes a clean STD test, i would go back with her.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

While I applaud you, Mack, that'd likely just increase the negative feelings. Wouldn't want to add guilt to resentment.

One of my good friends cheated on his girlfriend.

They broke up for maybe two months. He was persistent in wanting to get her back.

They finally did get back together, but it wasn't like before.

She made him get rid of his Facebook.

She doesn't let him go out on the town with the boys.

She can check his phone whenever she fancies, but not vice versa.

And...before they got back together, she dated his best friend. They never fucked, but hey, he cheated, why shouldn't she be able to, right?

She basically owns him, and it makes me cringe thinking about it.

Any other guy I know would say, "Fuck this" and move on. I mean, his best friend! But there are some people who cheat and think they have to do right by it or correct their wrongdoing somehow, no matter how long they have to stick around to do it.

Deep down, you cheated for a reason: your gf wasn't giving you what you needed. Get back with her if that's what you desire, but don't forget that, and be able to cut it off when she makes demands you're not comfortable with.

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"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

possibly

but with the right people guilt cancels out resentment

this response was more tongue-in-cheek than serious

however, i am really not feeling the whole "exclusive" relationship thing anymore, anyway.

leaning more toward undefined and uncommitted.

i've found that women have a fatal flaw of taking things for granted once they "own" them.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Very TRUE!

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Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.

Dumb ass move, you gave her permission to do the same...

And she probably will do it, not now but someday with a random guy that she feels attracted, and she will think " if he did i can do also". And you will never know she did it and like the other poster told SHE WILL OWN YOUR ASS after that moment.

If you are confortable with this agreement then go ahead.

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Oh! You've gotta be kidding me!

Man!

You gotta see it for what it is. You screwed up. Im gonna sound like a complete bastard here but what I think is that if you really had to do that, you should have at least made sure she would never find out. Her finding out is only gonna hurt her. The moral aspects of cheating aside, you hurt the girl.

From her point of view, you showed that you dont care enough about her to be exclusive and that puts her in a situation where she is threatened. Her position is threatened and she cannot trust you. You two were a team and now you have shown her that you are prepared to play for another team, meaning that she isnt good enough for you. You just arent as much hers as she thought you were.

That is from her perspective.

So why does she want you to beg?
Simple. Begging for forgiveness will not change anything but it will require you to sacrifice something (the humiliation of begging), in order to try to make things better. It is a demand that she makes and if you comply, she has proven that she has some influence over you (as she should have) and that she is important enough for you to beg for. Remember that her importance is down to zero as far as she is concerned.
Explaining it as a PUA, she is trying to make you invest in your relationship, an investment that will take a sacrifice. That shows her that you are willing to give something up for her and that she is more important to you than whatever it is you are giving up.

You regret what you did and you should. Maybe you should ask yourself why you did it, without any moral barriers and without any wishful thinking. First of all, strip yourself of all notions about the morality of cheating. Basically, if you did cheat and it meant something and she found out, that is terrible, it means you arent happy with her and you hurt her. If it didnt mean anything to you and she found out, it is bad because you hurt her for no reason. If it meant something to you but she didnt find out, you hurt yourself by being with someone you dont wanna be with and now suffer from guilt. If it didnt mean anything and she didnt find out, it might as well never have happened right.

Ask yourself why you did what you did and how it has affected you. Be honest to yourself and take a step back and try to see where you stand in life and if that is where you want to be. Rationalize about your intentions, were you trying to prove something to yourself or werent you sufficiently involved with your girl?

Before you know what you want, it is difficult to know what you should do.


And, Im not trying to tell you that cheating is ok, it is not.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Here is the deal.

99% of men cheat for pure sexual pleasure.

99% of women cheat for emotional reason, not getting what they need from their bf/husband, or have some kind of emotional baggage, low self esteem ect ect....

The reality that you fucked up, but you know you fucked up and as long as you can express what you did was wrong and she understand you are sincerely sorry, and that it was purely a sexual thing nothing emotional at all, it will ease her mind.

See women know why they cheat and so she in her head probably think you cheated not only sexually but emotionally, she probably thinks you told this girl all your wildest dreams, shared with her all your emotions ect ect....why? because this is what most women do. A women's worst fear is you cheating emotionally! Im sure she is not happy about the sexual part but most women can get over that!

You have to prove to her that there is nothing between you and the girl you fucked, I mean nothing! no emotional attachment at all! and that you have never been emotionally attached to anyone other then your gf. this will solve much of your problem!

With guys all we think about it "omg another guys penis was in my gf" lol that all we really care about...its an ego thing! women can get over that kind of thing.

The only thing I would be concerned about at this point is her getting drunk one night and fucking some guy for "emotional reasons" because "you did so I was just getting even" I have seen this a million times. You have to make clear that although you cheated two wrong don't make a right and you both need to be faithful! unforchantly women often say one thing and do another so watch out! seen it a million times! in fact I have seen women cheat without having actual proof their bf's cheating lol

Thanks Guys

_________________
Life's too short to dance with ugly women

If you like my comments, then why ain't you giving me Reputations ?

Is this Life