Hi all.
Would you feel bad if you knew your girlfriend was talking with her ex boyfriends about past things they did?? Like, sayinng, when, and what they did? All through facebook, no real contact.
Things like "Yeah, I remember that day, and that place" ..
Is it wrong for her to do that?
Why is it that sometimes girls say something that for them is completely harmless, but we take it the wrong way, or at least I do! How can one stop this?

ex boyfriends are my personal taboo. I would feel very very very very bad about this. especially since my GFs know that the exes are beyond my boundary.

with that said, how did you discover it? snooping her FB? did she tell you? are you sure there is no contact?

if she told you about it, you can highlight how it makes you feel uncomfortable. if you snooped, you cannot tell her. it's definitely not cheating. if she lied about it, it might be breakup material, but then no need to say anything. just walk away. otherwise, randomly bring up the topic in conversation and say something along the lines "my ex contacted me the other day because something reminded her of that time when we ..." and gauge her reaction. maybe she is totally cool with it. or maybe she will become defensive. if so, it's your moment to act "well, yeah, I see how that would be hurtful for you sweetheart. I am sure you would never talk that way with your ex. it would hurt me exactly as much."

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nice guys don't get laid
"It's disrespectful not to bang them when they sleepover." (Hellhound)

Well, she ALWAYS leaves her FB open: on my ipad, on my iphone and sometimes on my computer.
So while Im driving I get a notification
X Guy:
"I remember X's house" ..
"On her parents bed, yeah" ...

But her responses are not something like "I loved that" ...
The guy was also saying something like ..
"Is it bad that I think youre so fucking hot in your dresses, and that I want you?" and she goes like "Nah, its not bad, we're just friends after all" .. then she changes the subject, but the guy goes back to it again.. saying "Dont forget our times" .. she says "I dont, i remember blah blah blah" but in a playful way, not flirty.

I know there is no contact because I am with her from morning to morning basically..

I think you need to realize that everyone has a past and old relationship memories. There is nothing wrong with a few facebook exchanges. However, "hanging" out with an ex is where communication is needed.

To be quite honest, I think bringing up your ex in relation to gauge her reaction is a little sneaky plus its another way to push your gf away.

People like to put to much emphasis on facebook messages...I mean cmon its facebook...facebook should never cause problems in a relationship. lol

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"To Give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift" -Prefontaine

Not a PUA just a girl offering my opinions/advice

Yeah, facebook shouldn't cause problems, but its the cause of a lot of couple break ups.
What is there for me to fear? When all her friends say Im the best boyfriend she's ever had, the only one they've liked ...
I think I got used to my ex gf, the fact that she never spoke to anyone. She didn't had FB, she didn't go out, so she never met new people. I got so used to that, that now its hard for me to get used to a social girl, that has dozens of guys hitting on her, one ex trying to have sex with her ... at least he said
"Hey I respect that you have a boyfriend and all that" xD ...
Because he already rejected him about 3 months ago, but she says he is like that.. he appears every 3 months and starts hitting on her. . xD

no, he doesn't, lol, or he wouldn't be saying "remember the time we fucked on so-and-so's bed"

it's not such a big deal that a guy would send a message like that.

the big deal is how she responds to it.

does she actively (or passively) validate efforts by guys like him by being playful back, by posting status updates that are provocative, by basically creating that sort of attention in the first place, does she spend lots of time responding or respond to each flirtateous message, etc...

it's all about her behavior.

if once in a blue moon a creepy ex sends a message like that and she replies "lol, blah blah, okay, well we're friends now, take care of yourself" (and then moves on) it's not a big deal at all.

if, however, she lets those sorts of messages blossom into actual conversation (no matter how "short" they are), it is validating that sexual attention, responding to it, and basically asking for more.

and that is disrespectful and destructive.

facebook is now cited in 1 in 4 divorces, lol.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Well.. this all blossomed because she uploaded a picture in a dress with her cousin, and the guy started like "I think youre hot and I want you" .. "Its not bad for me to want you" ... then she says "Nah, its ok, we're friends" ..
She didn't asked for the attention, and whenever the guy would say something she would respond on that subject, but not on a playful winky winky way, just dull, one liners.
She told me on the 30th that she'd meet him to help him with an animation project, its on her first day of school, and I'm taking her to school, if by any reason she says no, or tells me that she's gonna meet him, but without me (99.99% of the time she meets a friend of hers I'm by her side, because she asks me to) I'll just say something like:

"Just imagine if I'd go meet up with a girl that wants to fuck me"
or
"I don't like it, imagine Id go see a girl that wants to fuck me, its up to you but you know I'm not cool with it"

sometimes the truth hurts. you should dump her. judging by your posts, even though you are trying to validate that you trust her and not the other guys, you dont seem to have any trust in her. do you want to spend time in a relationship like that? you are making excuses for the way she is acting and trying to convince yourself its not that bad. it is. she sounds sneaky, manipulative, and all around bad news. also, you guys need some space, being together all the time isnt healthy either

To me yes this is a big red flag, its simply disrespectful, its one thing to say "high how are you" if you run into an ex in the street, its another to have full on convo's about all the fun you had in the past.

Plus no guy talks to their ex unless they either want to fuck, or get back with them, if she knew that then out of respect for you she would drop him and not talk to him....thats just common sens.

I would talk to her about it, be calm, and let her know that you don't feel it is ok, if she freaks out or does not listen then this is bad sign and you have a decision to make....be with a girl who does not respect you? or dump her?

yes i think it's bad. if she really loves you. she will forget about the past and live in the present

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