I think there's this preconceived notion that if you share or invest anything emotionally in a relationship, you are being beta. The girl you date is supposed to give you everything you want while you cross your arms and convince yourself you're the shit. It just doesn't work like that.

But like you said, it's really about respect. It's what happens after you invest that dictates if you're beta. Screen, screen, screen. Until you find someone worth your time. If she reciprocates that devotion with respect, you're in the clear. If she doesn't and you say, "Well, this is the best I can do", that's pretty beta to me.

_________________
"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

You've hit on a good point.

One is that people may generalize their own experience. So if they have a few experiences, they assume that this is just how it is and start talking as if that is a rule, rather than something that happened to them due to their own unique traits.

On the other hand, sometimes when you run into a pattern, it isn't just you. It really is some wider rule that you've realized.

You have to know the difference between the two. You have to question when you're drawing a certain pattern that is not representative and when you're drawing one that is.

_________________
http://www.communicationskillsactivities.net <-Click to Learn Secrets from a World Champion Public Speaker

i agree with hobbit.

it's kind of like white hat seo and black hat seo.

two approaches to the same end.

one is pure.

the other is twisted.

the pure path is to be alpha (lol, excuse the overuse) by investing the time it takes to have a good understanding of one's own self, needs, desires, strengths, and shortcomings. and also to have self-respect and be a well-rounded person. to give flexibility where it is due and when it is appropriate, but to stand up for yourself without fail when necessary. this is like the "white hat" version of being alpha.

the other path is the same old (what i like to call) jedi-mind trick mental jiu jitsu bullshit. shit we've read in this subforum time and time again. it's humorous to read someone professing their alpha'ism while asking "how do i act to get her back?" or "will this make her want me?" those are such needy statements immediately followed by a declaration of alphaness. i this mental masturbation jedi-jiu-jitsu is like "black hat" version of being alpha.

i prefer the pure way. the way that takes enlightenment, time, true endeavor, and character-building exercises in general. those that seek to play games will never be happy, because in the end they have reduced their own reality to a game. and that's really just a desperate ploy to appear alpha.

all things are best in moderation. balance.

honestly, i think the most beta thing a guy can do is the mental gymnastics involved in "HOW TO ACT ALPHA".

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

i agree in a way.

a person pursuing enlightenment in life will always ask (when something bad happens), "what did i do to cause or contribute to this? how can i prevent this in the future? what can i stand to learn from this?"

others just stand still and place blame.

no matter how bad your circumstances are in life, or how many disadvantages you've suffered, chances are that when a person examines himself if being honest, he would see several if not dozens of his own decisions that put him directly in that position.

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

I know there is the desire to "take responsibility" for everything as if that makes you more of a "positive" person. But you can get in just as much trouble taking responsibility for things that are coming from outside as you can not taking responsibility for the things that come from inside.

Of course, I agree we should have the mindset of figuring out what we can control in the situation and making the best of it. But there are many times when recognizing external factors can be very important - even if only so that you can try to move to a different environment that will be healthier.

_________________
http://www.communicationskillsactivities.net <-Click to Learn Secrets from a World Champion Public Speaker

Control the things you have control over "Oneself", while not worrying or getting upset over the things you cannot control "Others". When you have control over you, the rest is less obvious.


Peace...

_________________
Crypto...
______________________________________
All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood