Just broke up with my my gf of almost 4 years, lived with her for 2...feel kind of numb right now.

She has always had an issue with sharing her emotions, she is not overly affectionate, and when something is bothering her she holds it in until she blows up! She didn't have a very good relationship with her father growing up which is what I feel caused the problem. She can also be very selfish at times and as of late she has been rude to me, and when I came to her and expressed that I was not happy she just kind of laughed it off, I then ignored her for a day, didn't talk to her, and then told her that I felt she did not appreciate me and all that I have done, and that if she does not change its over, she told me she was not sure if she could ever share her emotions so I ended it....told her I cant be with someone who cant communicate or share how they feel.

I really thought she would put up more of a fight, she hardly said a thing, its really disappointing to know that someone you have built your future around can care so little....I love this girl! she's the only women I have said I love you to, or thought about having my children, and we had a lot of good times together! but I guess its better now then 10 years down the road when we have a couple children and a house.

Sorry to hear that, it is hard to break off a 4 years relationship especially when you have planned a future picture with the one. But I guess it is time to feel free again and sort things out for your own good.

Lovezen

yeah man it is tough! I was sitting in bed last night after ignoring my gf all day and thought "wtf am I doing? I hate feeling this way, and she doesn't seem to care" Im just tired of putting in all the work to keep us together, if she loves me as much as she said she did then she would fight for me, tell me she will work hard at our relationship, she would grab me and tell me she loves me, but instead I got a cold shoulder and silence....really shitty!

But w.e Im a great bf, good looking, have a good head my shoulders, its not going to be easy getting over her but I know there are millions of girls out there looking for a guy like me, she just let something special go!

I knew this was coming sooner rather than later after you mentioned about her doing runners! Anyone who runs from their problems and has fun in the process obviously doesn't care that much about their problem!

Your better off without her! Definitely get someone with a similar parental background and you will have such a healthy thing going!

I've a theory that people from the same type of backgrounds (broken home/non broken home) are a stronger match

Its really starting to hit me! I was numb at first but then it really starts to hit you! I think I might get out of the house tonight just to keep busy!

Sorry to hear that.

You have said that she hides her emotions of runs away from them rather than discuss them or show them. Clearly she isnt going to show how much it hurts losing you! She obviously had feeling for you or you woulndt have spent 4 years with her.

I know you must be feeling naive but your not. She wouldnt have stayed with you if she didnt care about you.

You have done the right thing. Communication is key in a relationship.

Hey man I really have no clue how she feels since she has not said much, I feel she has acted a little selfish about the whole thing, I understand she does not know how to share her emotions but she is just being cold! If she can't have a relationship with me, a guy who supported her, help get her from not even having a high school education to being in university, a guy who treated her great!, and a guy who she shared amazing memories with! Im not sure that she will ever be happy with any guy....I feel I have been an amazing bf! perhaps to much, so I she can't be happy with me I don't see it ever happening! She was with some real loosers before she met me!

It just seems crazy to me! w.e though...im hurt but I also know there are millions of women out there looking for a guy like me.

I was wondering when this would happen, but I wasn't sure if you'd do the dumping. You have learned a lot and I don't think you will repeat the same mistakes, just realize you still have a lot to learn in relationships and how best to communicate yourself with women in order to be in sync.

I believe I told you before that you settled for this one. The way you described your family, your principles, and her life and personality, I don't see how it could possibly have worked out long term unless something changed within her to make her grow up, overcome her issues and open herself up more. Your personalities are not compatible for a marriage.

Learn to screen better. You invested so much into her, while she was a mess, immature and closed off. Although she grew a little, ask yourself how much she really changed from the first time you met her. You kept hoping it would work due to your investment and the ideal relationship you kept imagining. Lots of girls make the same mistake. There were times when you got along and she gave you good emotions so you forgot the negative and started to tell her you love her. Your attachment blinded you. Think back for the past 4 years and ask yourself if she was really perfect for you. If she met the important standards and principles that you have. If she's really the type of woman you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with even though she can't open up to her bf of 4 years ?!? You probably feel into the hero complex in trying to save her. It sucks but try to remember the good times and everything you've learned, life will get better from now on.

All women in relationships go crazy, some just hide it longer than others.

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The hottest ginger you'll ever meet.

I don't have an ego, I just love how awesome I am.

Dude, the best possible advice I can give you is to stay strong and "Do Not" attempt to contact her in any way! You will know in the next couple of weeks how much she really cared for you by how hard she begins to fight for you...Girls are pretty predictable and you will start to notice a pattern starting to develop.

Girl Phases after a breakup:
I don't care phase
I can do better phase
I wonder what he is doing phase
The contact "test" phase (she will reach out to you, this is a test)
I cant stop thinking about him phase
Does he still like me phase (I miss you/I love you)
The anger phase (she will lash out at you)
The apology phase

Once she gets to the apology phase you can choose to re-enter the picture and meet her for a drink. Stick to your guns and do not go back on your demands about her showing her feelings! Also remember that she may see other guys (testing the waters) while ya'll are apart, you should see other girls as well!!!


Keep your head up Bro!

Peace...

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Crypto...
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All girl's are Freaks...It is your job to bring it out in them! - Crypto

You need to stop bending over and letting her ass fuck your brain! - Heywood

I left the house yesterday to get out, and to go to the gym, was gone 4 hours and when I came back she was still in bed! she had tears in her eyes, there was tissue all over the place, and she handed me a two page letter about how much she loved me, how she cant imagine a life without me, how she is sorry for acting the way she did, and that I am an amazing bf, and she will do anything to make things work! it then went on to admit that she does not handle her emotions well, and that she was wrote the letter because she did not know how to express how she felt in words, it also said that I deserve better and she wants to work on things but understand why I would not want to be with her.

I then kind of went cold on her, told her I appreciate that she shared this with me, and its a big step forward! but that these are just words and I asked her "how can I trust that you won't take me for granted"

I then told her that I am no longer going to take the "soft" approach, because it does not seem to get through, and that I am a good guy, Im a great bf, and I didn't deserve any of the bullshit I went through. I told her that I need to think but if she wants to be with me she needs to prove it to me! she needs to work on her issues, and that she needs to treat me like the man I know I am. I also told her that she should appreciate me, show affection, do nice things for me from time to time, and I told her that if she can't do that then I will go find my self a women who does appreciate a good man.

Then I just kind of left it at that, she didn't argue with anything I said! she agrees that she needs to change in order to have a healthy relationship.

The one thing that worried me if that she talked about her life being routine, not really me being routine but that she was bored with her job, and with her self...she took her anger about her self out on me which at least she was honest but it still worried me a little.

Any way I told her I need to think about things, she seems to be really upset about everything.