I need advice, how invested should you be in a relationship



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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:51 am 
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Im currently in a relationship, it's actually my first ever relationship.I've been going out with the girl for the last three months.I feel like im way more invested then she is, its always me making plans to meet up, i bought her something for valentines day and she got me nothing! she wrote a card that only said said "to max happy valentines love from....." were i wrote nearly a page why i liked her in the card i bought! She can happily go a day without talking to me where i want to talk to her everyday and just recently i noticed that she gets annoyed at me alot more easily than before.

Basically im afraid to be less invested in case she leaves me, like if i give her less attention and dont treat her aswell next time she is out and gets talking to some guy who shows her lots of interest she could get with him.Basically i'm afraid that my action might get her to cheat if i don't do it right.Just she tells me all the time that she loves me, just she doesn't show it...the other day she was asking if im happy to be going out with her and she says stuff like she never wants me to break up with her..

Im just new to the whole relationship thing...i love this girl and i feel like been too invested i will lose her but if i be less invested she will cheat, dont know what to do


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:56 am 
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Quote:

Basically im afraid to be less invested in case she leaves me, like if i give her less attention and dont treat her aswell next time she is out and gets talking to some guy who shows her lots of interest she could get with him.Basically i'm afraid that my action might get her to cheat if i don't do it right.Just she tells me all the time that she loves me, just she doesn't show it...the other day she was asking if im happy to be going out with her and she says stuff like she never wants me to break up with her..

Im just new to the whole relationship thing...i love this girl and i feel like been too invested i will lose her but if i be less invested she will cheat, dont know what to do
She's going to cheat on you
and you're going to die.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:59 am 
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that was helpful


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 1:06 am 
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No sean he meant it sarcastically. If she cheats on you then oh well, move on. Don't trip over her cheating if she hasn't. Just chill out. See my avatar photo? Would james bond ask this question? NO. He would chill and let the vagina come to him. Get in this mindset and play it cool. Too much of this will eat at you and before you know it you are either her bitch or you will lose her. Show her you are a man and she won't fuck up the relationship. It's called trust. Without it then you really don't have a relationship at all.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 1:38 am 
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dude, my ex was exactly the same. I arranged to meet up, I bought her flowers for V day, bought her a christmas present etc... everything! She bought me fuck all. Arranged fuck all.

She sees you as the "perfect boyfriend", however she loves the whole concept of it and loves everyone knowing. However, I think she will rebel agaist this because she knows shes not good enough for you (like my ex did),

I know it sounds bad. Don't be so nice, and if she doesnt try so hard, or does cheat on you then fuck her. You don't need someone like that in your life. I know you want her, and want to spend money on her and care for her, but she's a dick if shes not taking into account that you have emotions as well.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 1:47 am 
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Guys, just a pro-tip: As men, it's always going to be your job to make the plans. Get used to it. It's part of being the leader in the relationship.

Also, Sean, you ARE way too invested in this relationship. However, it's your first one so you're going to make some mistakes one way or another. Try to learn from them so you don't repeat them.

-Wolf

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 1:21 pm 
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awesome advice wolf ^^^

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