do you have a relationship question for me?

if so, post it here, and i will respond.

i get a lot of private messages asking for advice.

please keep the following in mind:

- i am not a pua (questions on specific methods will be referred to experienced pua's)
- i am simply an enlightened "reformed" afc (wisdom, experience)

*plus, i'm a fairly busy guy, between work, college, and parenthood*

*but i will respond, as soon as i have time*

take care,
Mack

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

This is awesome Mack, I'm looking forward to reading your advice dr. House style

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

Ok mack Il start.

Over 6 months into my LTR.. my girl has more exp than me in LTRs...even tho shes 6 years younger.

now I can readily observe myself becoming heavily invested and getting irritated and annoyed at mundane stupid shit.

example : im always checking up on her, im becoming more jealous, im becoming more in my head about shit like 'why didnt she say this or that this time, why did she do this or that this time, why didnt she say this or that etc'

a while ago she disclosed info that I made a post about... that she basically was just a sex doll to her ex of 3 years and she also recently disclosed that he demanded some type of sexual activity EVERY SINGLE TIME THEY chilled. whcih was 3 times a week.

so now with me, shes all like wanting to make it "right" and not make the same mistakes yadda yadda. yet im sitting there thinking "fuck i cant believe this shit, she used to be a hoe and now i have to put up with her 'new' shit".

and its also fucked with my perception of her, like i wonder how this ex interacted with her and demanded blow jobs or anal or watever it was. becasue with me it seems like it could never be that way. so part of me feels like I dont really know this chick at all and its causing huge trust issues and jealousy that i outlined earlier.

also she used to tell me how in love she was with this guy blablabl. its sickening to that point where i get so pissed off sometimes and just snap on her and she doesnt know why and asks me why and of course i make up some random excuse about having a bad day,, but truly its all of this inner bullshit that is making me angry

so what the fuck am i to do

juan,

you have serious inner game issues going on.

i can't delve into the depths of every issue that you have,

but i can highlight them in the hopes that it will open your eyes,

and hopefully you can find a new path forward.

issue #1: you are talking the talk, but not walking the walk. what i mean by that is, you are giving this relationship far too much power in your life right now. you are a young guy, i assume. do you really think that this girl is going to be "the one" (forever and ever?) it's doubtful. you need to prioritize. don't act. do. what i mean by that is your priorities should be school, work, advancement, hobbies, serious life goals, then your girlfriend. don't give me any bullshit about how you are doing that. because i know better. you have been toiling and fretting over this chick and the situation with her for weeks on end. how much time are you spending thinking about the fact that some dude before you nutted down her throat and up her ass, when you could be out lifting weights, taking classes, going to mma training, working on starting a business, feeding the fucking homeless, who knows? you are way to wrapped up in this chick. it isn't healthy. so issue one is YOUR PRIORITIES. fix them. now.

issue #2: you are afc'ing hardcore, by being around her, being unhappy, her asking you what is wrong, and you not being man enough to just tell her. what the hell are you afraid of? losing her? what, will you wither up and die without this girl? will your heart stop beating? will you self-destruct like a fucking note on mission impossible? for god's sake, man, get a grip on yourself. if you are unhappy with her or around her, you really have two viable options. option 1 is to not be around her, lol. option 2 is to tell her straight out what you think. you are choosing what? option 3? being all passive-aggressive like a little bitch. don't do that. in the process you are sacrificing your pride and manhood. walk the walk. what are you pursuing diligently in your life right now besides this relationship with this girl? what passion? you are being textbook AFFECTED by her. control your frame.

issue #3: lack of clarity. what is it that you want? really? do you want to marry this girl? do you suppose that you will? i am not kidding with that question. answer it! here it goes again: IS THIS GIRL GOING TO BE YOUR FUTURE WIFE? if so, talk to her about shit. if not, realize it, then put things in perspective and start FUCKING HAVING FUN. once you realize that this isn't going to be your future wife and mother to twenty of your children, who gives a rat's ass who dick has been in what orifice on her body? you've got a major hangup. while you are busy angrily fantasizing about cocks up her ass, you aren't even thinking about where your relationship is realistically going to go.

#4: letting her past bf have any bearing in your relationship. what is with this? where her past bf stuck his cock dictates where and when you get to stick yours? and you agreed to this? really. i mean, you must have, because if you didn't tell her "you are fucking nuts" when she said that, then you failed a shit test miserably. think about it. her ex-bf and his cock is dictating yours. so, she has elevated her ex-bf's cock to a higher importance than yours.

you have some real soul-searching to do, amigo.

sorry for the ass-reaming, my friend. but you did post in the "ask mack" thread, lol.

you have a classic case of talking the talk, but not walking the walk.

think about it. you are here studying pua tactics, which have a lot to do with being on control of your own life, your own happiness, your own destiny, and your own sense of wants/needs/desires, etc. but you are ignoring all of it to spend your time dwelling on one girl.

you don't just have one-itis.

you have angry, passive-aggressive, afc-intensive one-itis.

the best thing you can do in this situation is:

LEARN FROM IT.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Agree with most of what you are saying.

however, it wasnt like this at the beginning. I was indeed walking the walk early on.

yes i studied all the PU tactics to get myself a girlfriend but like I said, I lack exp in LTRs and similar shit always comes up after 4-6 months.

So in regards to what your saying,, the problem is that YES, i see this chick as my future wife.

issue #1 fully agree and will strive to revert back to my priorities

issue #2- ive already told her evrything i think, thats the problem. becuase we both agreed that i should stop bringing it up because it will ruin shit

issue #3 - yes she may be my future wife. ovb i cant answer for sure but shes ideal for me and is basically what ive always looked for in a girl. i just cant seem to get past her history for some reason .

issue 4- what exactly am i to do in this situation? ovb i agree with u on this one and i expressed the same sentiments to her. but if she chooses to 'elevate her ex' above me.. how can i change thaT? am i just supposed to plow and demand sex whenever and however I want? or just trust that in time she will give me anything I want if i just remain cool and calm about everything etc not be AFC etc etc

you have a serious problem with the "purity" illusion.

you need to see women as some sort of higher beings that are pure, and angelic, and above-the-frey.

i'm here to tell you...they are not.

you used the word "ideal" which is very telling.

NO woman is IDEAL. for anything. or anyone. there is no "One" for any of us. there millions and billions of women that we can find varying levels of compatibility with.

but the fact that you ascribe the word "ideal" to this girl is a sign of the underlying issue. you need women to be ideal in some way. that goes hand-in-hand with your absurb hangup over the fact that she has had kinky sex in the past.

also, you have already been given the answer to your situation, but you did not hear it. because it isn't what you wanted to here.

you want to sit on the other side of this internet connection on your computer and read some magical piece of knowledge that will instantly cure your misperceptions. i'm sorry to say, it doesn't work that way.

juan,

it's all about perspective.

your perspective is skewed.

and the cure doesn't lie in the knowledge that leads to the actions.

the cure lies in the actions that lead to the knowledge.

read those last three lines 100 times. i'm serious. it's not just some bullshit, there is real meaning there. i'll explain...

you think that you are going to gain some insight, some knowledge, that will enable you to change your perspective, and then your actions (the things you do in life, feel in life, how you act in life) will be changed.

you have the equation backwards.

change your actions FIRST.

THEN your perspective will change.

THEN you will become enlightened and your mind will change.

that is why i said, this whole thing STARTS with you fixing your priorities FIRST.

NOT AS A RESULT, BUT AS THE PRECURSOR to the necessary inner-game issues that you are suffering from.

you are not going to fix your inner-game issues and then change your life.

you are going to change your life and then your inner-game issues will dissipate.

are you following? do you follow?

priorities.

1. school
2. work
3. hobbies
4. passions
5. money
6. your future
7. this girl

once you ACTUALLY move her to her rightful place on this list (#7 that is) you won't give a damn where cocks have been in her.

as long as you make her the central focus of your being, you will be a neurotic fruitcake.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Nice post..

Gunna follow this thread.


Juan, you need to chill man. Focus on the things which are more important and let the history go. Live in the now man. Seriously.

That response was awesome. It's a Shame the guy still doesn't get it...

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Friendzone 1-vt51424.html?postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

Question 1: What do you have to say about a 24/7 texting habit in a relationship?


Question 2: Girl saw a dream of cheating on me then another dream of breaking up with me, what do you have to say about dreams?

for me to answer these questions, truthfully and helpfully, you need to put them into actual context. like story format.

what's going on with the texting? are you just asking in theory? or are you speaking about a specific situation in a relationship you are in? you must be more specific. take a few minutes and tell the story and i'll respond.

also need to tell the story of the dream? is this your present girlfriend? neighbor? great-aunt? ex-girlfriend? fuckbuddy? coworker? how long have you been together? how is your relationship going?

i simply can't answer your questions properly until you put them in context.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

We started getting to know each other by texting everyday and now we still txt everyday and it's a habit in our relationship. The routine of texting everyday is getting boring but I feel like it'll ruin the relationship if I cut off texting and If I don't, we'll eventually get bored of texting (I can already feel it happening) and once again, it will ruin the relationship. So yea, what do you have to say about this kind of texting?


My girl saw a dream she cheated on me with a guy she met long time ago and she was trying to hide it from me in her dream (he's no threat, he's a loser) I'm just thinking that maybe she wants to seek others or she has a fantasy in cheating and its leading her to her dreams.

She also saw a dream she dumped me (I don't have much info on this) she said that her dream means I'm going to dump her in reality or we're going to last a long time (her dream interpretation)

again, your response was kind of vague. for instance, i did ask how long you and she had been together, with no response.

also, you stated "we started getting to know each other by texting everyday"

say what? did you two like pocket-text each other and just happen to meet that way. kind of weird to meet someone via text. i sense that this is some sort of LDR? again, i'm guessing here...

anyway, moving on now...lol

yes, 24/7 texting is bad. if you are feeling bored. she either is too or she is sensing your uneasiness. either way, it's not good. females are 10 to 100 times more intuitive to non-verbal communication than men. if you are "feeling" anything, she will know. this is the language of women. i'm not sure what to tell you though, because i don't know how often you two see each other or what other means you have to communicate besides texting.

the dreams, well, i'm not so much concerned about what the dreams were 'supposedly' about as i am the fact that she told you about them and the context that conversation took place in. whether or not she had those dreams is not the issue. the fact that she 'told' you she had those dreams is the real issue. why? because it means that she is stirring drama. which is something that females do. the question is why?

how is your relationship going?

how long have you been together?

how did you meet?

how often do you see eachother?

are you exclusive?

are you having sex yet with her?

how old are you two?

i'm sorry to sound redundant, but your questions are quite specific, but the background you have provided is extremely vague to be able to put them into any sort of context and give you a genuine answer other than just bs'ing you.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Sorry about that, my fault. We met through her friend and well we were exclusive for about 4 months and now we've been in a relationship for 2 months. Everything is going perfectly, I haven't seen her for two weeks now though and we usually see each other every weekend. We haven't had sex yet because she has strict morals (still a virgin) and thinks it is still too early. She told me her dream because she tells me everything and she probably thought I'd be interested, I really don't know lol but I just teased her about it, nothing to cause drama about anyways. We met through her friend

since you again didin't answer one of my questions, the age thing. it's pretty important. judging by your writing style, i am guessing you are about 16?

either way, it's just typical teenage drama. no girl her age will be happy for long. game other chicks.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

I'm 18 and she's 17. Fair enough, thanks anyways. I don't care much about any of this, I'm just taking it as a learning experience so I wanted to ask lol