It's a long story so i shall provide cliffs

-GF of 4months
-Took her virginity
-I'm her real first boyfriend
-Very busy girl, parents want her to pass school etc.
-Only see her once a week, more if im lucky but it's rare
-Sex not that great, but it's my fault, have some problems getting it up because nervousness..
- Been having fights about stupid things the last couple of weeks

Big argument yesterday about holiday, i wanted her to come with be but her friends wanted her to come to ibiza, she couldn't decide, i told her if she can't decide ill join them to ibiza, her friends dont want me along because they don't know me, some arguments and she decided not to go on vacation at all.. At the end of the day we made up, said we love eachother etc. all good.


Today her mom got into surgery, i wanted to ask her about it later on the day cause she was busy with school and had to pick up her mom and i figured she'd be too busy.

Then i read on twitter: ''You're not even here for me, didn't expect that...!''

So i talk to her on text asking who it was about, she said ''someone'' i said ''who?'' she said ''you dont know the person'' so im like ''Hah okay''. Then like 10 seconds after this conversation she tweets '' .............. '' on twitter, so at this point i assumed it was me.. I texted:

Me: I do know myself
Her: Huh?
Me: You were talking about me right?
Her: No?
Me: Okay... Because of that tweet
Her: No it's not about you, do you mind?
Me: What??
Her: Nevermind
Me: Tell me?
Her: No, i have other things to worry about

Then i told her

''I am not in the mood for arguments or games right now, like putting stuff on twitter that is directed towards me, if you want to play games like that you can find yourself a 16 year old or something but i dont play those games, you can tell me everything and i love you a lot but i'm not here to get yelled at, good luck in the hospital and i hope she gets well soon! Ill hear from you when you can act normal again.''

This was like 4 hours ago but i feel like i went to far?

I read on twitter again like 10 min ago ''This sucks my mom is getting more sick''. And i really feel bad but if i talk to her now then i come over like someone who's word is not to be taken serious because i keep crawling back...

Did i screw up guys?

I was thinking of maybe sending a get well card but im not sure, then it feels like maybe i just do that to make it up instead of really wishing her mother would get better..

Sometimes it's better just to ignor your girlfriend and not freak out on her while her mom is dying in the hospital. I have been in a relationship for a long time and realized using logic agianst a girl while she is emotional does not work. You should have ignored the twitter comment and tried to be somewhat supportive (call later)

If you actually give a fuck about her mom then send her a card, but don't mention it to your GF. Doing nice things then expecting gratitude for your deeds makes you a needy person. Be nice for the sake of being nice, not to get good with her.

Yes but by the time i send the message i thought everything went fine it's just now that she's been posting on twitter that she's getting sicker (She is not dying, just a operation)


Anyway, now that we're already at this point, what would you advice on doing next? Keep ignoring her till she talks?

Fuck! I dunno, I suck at my relationship lol. I would give my girl some space and send a text or two just finding about how her mom is doing. Talk to her tomorrow after she calms down a bit.

The only thing I know for sure is don't try to argue with her right now. You will lose and it might end bad.

Okay, you are kind of screwing yourself over a lot in this relationship. First of all, I noticed that you changed the story about the Ibiza trip.. I thought you had that all figured out and that she was coming with you on vacation? Did she back-pedal and change her mind? I would have just let her go with her friends and not made a big deal about it. I probably would have been a bit annoyed, but I wouldn't have let it show. I would definitely not have offered to change my plans for her if I had made plans already.

Even so, the fact that she is planning to go on a trip where you are not invited is a HUGE ISSUE for me. I would pretty much consider the relationship over at this point.

Second, you need to sort yourself out in the bedroom. This could be causing all sorts of other issues with your relationship. Are you at least getting her off using your fingers and/or your tongue?

Actionable Advice:

-Start gaming other girls.. it's always good to have options

-Do not confront your girlfriend about any of this most recent drama.. be indifferent and let her come to you. If your relationship is salvageable, then she'll be the one to make the first move.

-Tell her to have a good time in Ibiza with her friends and that she is free to "have fun" as much as she wants (because she's going to anyway and it will majorly increase your value in her eyes by giving her permission beforehand).

-Go wherever you planned to go over break.. see if you can get other people to go with you and have an amazing time. Don't talk to your girlfriend while on vacation.

That's all I got so far. Hopefully some of that helps.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

How come you don't know her friends even though you have been dating her for 4 months and are in love?

Look at yourself from a third person view and ask if you have been acting beta in the relationship. Once you become aware of this, you will need to change your behavior and take control back of the relationship.

Now you are in damage control. If you can give her mom a card without contacting your girl then that would be good cause it means you're not doing it for the girl.

As for twitter, maybe she's talking about her dad or siblings? Maybe not, gotta figure that out. It seems to me that you're more invested in the relationship.

For the ibiza fight, I have a feeling you got emotional and went beta on her. If you said something like "why are you going with them, I thought we would be together" or some shit like that, a girl loses respect that way and gains more power in the relationship. You also shouldn't invite yourself. If she wanted you there she would have asked.

Next time in that situation, you can tell her she can go but that you would have liked if she spent that time with you. Say that in a calm voice.

ITS ALWAYS BETTER TO LOSE THE GIRL THEN LOSE YOURSELF, YOUR PRIDE AND DIGNITY! When you have this kind of mentality then she can never overpower you and she will be the one to chase you. Good luck

First of all, thanks a lot for responding guys!

Answers in bold, thanks again for the advice , really appreciate it!

Okay, for a few reasons.

1) It pisses me off. If it's a serious relationship, then I should be her priority.

2) Girls only do stuff like this when there's another dude who would take issue with your presence (i.e. a guy who likes her). Again, I should have the priority. The one exception is if it's an all-girls trip (even then, her female friends will likely encourage her to cheat on you because it's a vacation).

3) I only have 2 rules for my serious relationships (which are all open relationships, btw). One, be open and honest (this one is never a problem as I screen for these traits before getting into a relationship). Two, the other person always has the option to be included (i.e. has priority over other guys/girls).

For me, it's the only real issue that ever creeps up in my relationships. When my girlfriend starts prioritizing other guys over me, then it's time to downgrade her to FB and start dating more women.

Just my 2 cents.

-Wolf

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Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html

The guy she's going with is gay, does that effect this at all?

Are you sure he's gay? Anyways, if she doesn't change her attitude after you change your behaviour, it's better to start gaming other girls. You won't care what she does anymore afterwards. Give her one more chance if you want, just make sure you're the man now, bang her hard so she doesnt forget. Throw her around in bed, change positions whenever you want and never ask for permission. just keep calibrating and dominate.

Well she told me he's gay so i guess, they were in high school together so its probally the truth.


Well its 18 hour since i send her that message and still no response.. I really hate this because we originally planned on hanging out today but now that's not gonna happen, we were gonna hang out yesterday aswell at her friends place but i guess that's out of the window too.

Anyway, going to deliver the card now.


Edit: BTW, i have been dating this girl for 4 months but i just found out about PUA like 1 month ago, so i fell madly in love with her without even thinking about it..

I just tweeted ''Im tired of these problems'' because of something else that has nothing to do with her, but she retweeted me..

Really wondering if i should talk to her now ...

I see. Well don't worry too much then, you have a lot to learn and there's a lot of information here. Once you understand most of it, future decisions and behaviour will be much clearer to you. You will keep improving, just try your best.

As for the tweet, you know a part of you wanted her to see it. Don't make those kinds of statements in life, not even in your own head. There's nothing cool about complaining, especially if others hear you. Bitches do this all the time on facebook. Betas do this too, mostly cause they don't know better.