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there is the issue in my case that my gf has never had an orgasm. at least this is what she tells me... and i definately want to make her orgasm because this will definately help my case. however she is not a girl who places a huge importance on sexuality. she basically does it out of necessity for me and to make me happy, not because she gets horny and wants to do it.
even tho she DOES get horny sometimes, but she just tells me she suppresses it and it passes.
im trying to get her to explore her sexuality a little and even play with herself when shes alone but she refuses.
when i finger her is when she gets the most stimulation she says. but when im fucking her or eating her out, it doesnt do much for her she says.
she says she gets stimulation but just doesnt climax.
when i ask her and try to find out more information, she just gives me answers like "i dont know". she truly has never explored her sexuality.
last time i tried to finger her for a long time and make her orgasm , but it just didnt work and then my hand/finger got tired so i just banged her doggy style and splurged on her back.
She has issues which you probably can't solve. If she's not willing to talk about stuff, she might have a kink she's ashamed of. Just an example, I have a friend who is really into anal, that gets her off immediately. She has a bf for a year, she never came with him. He never even goes near her ass and they don't talk about it. She's afraid she'll turn him off if she says what she's really into. She tried gently steering him into that direction, but he didn't pick up on it and she's uncomfortable with being more direct. And then she said, it doesn't matter if I don't come, it's not that important to me. That's bullshit!
The other thing that is a cause for concern is that she sometimes gets horny but suppresses it. That's a real red flag for some serious issues.
The only thing you can probably do is really open up to her emotionally, like really open up, be vulnerable, she might do the same then and you can finally figure out what's going on. She'll never fall madly in love with you if you don't get that soul mate feeling going and for that to happen you can't follow pua tactics in a relationship and try to act "alpha". You either are alpha or you aren't. Girls fall madly in love with afc guys too.
Also, don't give up on her so easily in bed, just switch hands or something. Try something else and then return to what you think is working best. Are you hitting her g-spot? Some girls like for the fingers to stay inside and just stroke the g-spot repeatedly, others like when you fuck them with the fingers really hard, to get some friction and g-spot stimulation. Experiment and see if it goes somewhere. Tell her to touch her self while you finger her, etc. It will take time, maybe hours. Is she capable of climaxing when masturbating?
Good luck!