Then sex practically stopped and I got really sexually frustrated. She seemed to lose respect for me in some way.


Ryan

My question is, how could I have handled this in a more alpha way? What aspects / theories of the game should I be reading up on? When sex starts to dwindle, how can we manage it. I had the feeling after the incident that she wanted me to 'man up' and say that I wanted more sex, etc. which was ironically the opposite to what she'd been saying...

You relationship lacks passion.

At the onset of a romantic relationship, the girl is enamored by the guy's charm. To her, he is a perfect distillation of testosterone. As time passes, they fall into routines, lose the competitive anxiety that fueled the sexual tension in their relationship, and grow bored of each other. This is inevitable, it's just a part of being human. No one will ever be in a relationship where they are continuously at the peak of their happiness.

I'd agree with this under any other circumstance, but the fact that the sex is still good, presumably for her too, negates this rationale entirely. What you're proposing is more symptomatic of a loss of interest in sex entirely - it is often sexual intimacy which is the first to go when a relationship begins to wane. Moreover, if it's being bored with one another that's the reason, it's likely that the emotional bond has become less secure (simply put, both parties are less involved in each others' lives.

I recommend the following changes:

(a) Restore competitive anxiety. If a girl KNOWS that she is the ONLY source of pussy you have access to, she loses the motivation to use secks as a precursor for attention. Women use secks to get relationships, Men use relationships to get secks. The moment this dynamic becomes distorted and you begin to remain COMPLICIT with her withholding secks, your relationship starts to dry up. No matter how "unethical" people describe it as, jealousy is the single strongest emotion in a relationship, the greatest igniter of passions. Remain immune to it yourself while injecting it in calculated doses to her.

Counterproductive as it seems the girl is already feeling quite anxious about the state of the relationship. She'd even said quite explicitly that she's fearful that she'll be replaced suggesting her insecurities of being an adequate partner. It doesn't sound as though she's withholding sex to garner attention, but more that she's afraid that the relationship is becoming purely defined by sex and that there's nothing else she offers him.

(b) Judge a girl by her actions, not her words. If she's giving you less attention and not having as much secks, she is losing interest. It doesn't matter if she says "I don't deserve you" or "I'm so pleased that you're not like other guys." FOCUS ONLY ON INTEREST LEVEL. Cut all the ego assuaging bullshit out.

You can't infer that a person is less interested because they're having less sex or holding out on sex. Again, this could be more a result of feeling ambivalent toward a relationship defined solely by sex and nothing more. People withhold sex for all types of reasons. You can't cut ego out, as 1) it's humanly impossible to do so the ego is the engine behind human motivation which cannot be circumvented, but only kept partially in check, and 2) by doing so you'd be invalidating her basic needs thereby perpetuating feelings of vulnerability and inadequacy (which I suspect lies at the root of the problem).

Further, some women and men will 'freeze-out' on giving attention because they feel their emotional needs aren't being met. An indirect approach, yes, but often partners believe the other should understand implicitly, as if telepathically, the other's wants, needs, and desires (which quite often is NOT in step with reality).



(c) STOP Beta Backsliding. Go back to working on yourself. Don't lose focus of your own goals. Remember that women are only compliments to your life. She wants to see you trying to take over the world with her as a silhouette of commitment on the side. She wants to be a mistress to a man bent on world domination. She wants to be nervous around you, slightly intimidated, to be able to capitulate to your lordship.

No offense, but this sounds like something you regurgitated from some PUA handbook. It's kind of creepy, and is borderline misogynistic; I wouldn't expect you to agree, however, because in some weird way you probably preach it like the gospel; i wont waste any time trying to dis-abuse you of your belief.
This is half correct. DO NOT say this "straight out" thinking that you're manning up. Women HATE when you overtly communicate your demands or what's expected of them. It's the type of overtly masculine behavior they are all to ready to truncate and exploit. Just think about jealousy - if you TOLD your girlfriend directly "Yah, another girl likes me," Do you expect her to try harder, or to be resentful? BUT imagine now if you started going to the gym and she noticed you were getting more female attention without trying. Her reaction would be "I need to pry him off the hands of these other harlots."

Your girlfriend needs to think "I need to have secks with him so he doesn't run off with the 10,000 other girls that want him" NOT "I need to have secks with him because it's a chore in our relationship." You should have said nothing, don't bring it up. Be less available and less needy. Talk to other girls, make sure SHE KNOWS YOU HAVE OTHER OPTIONS. And constantly convey sexuality. Stay confident, charming, dominant, make innuendos, act careless and aloof.

As per the secks you guys had BEFORE she had the total withdrawal - that was the calm before the storm. Women will often have secks with their boyfriends after intense shows of commitment / rapport in order to reinforce that behavior, but it's a losing battle. You have enough of an emotional connection with her, what you need now is ATTRACTION, INTEREST, PASSION, FIRE.