Ok, I know what everyone's gonna say. It won't work out, move on, find other girls. I know. That's the right thing to do in 99% of cases. But I love this girl and we had the perfect chemistry for a couple years before we grew apart and it was mainly because of stresses in our lives. She had some exams and a lot of other events going on in her life she was focusing on and I had enrolled back in school and because of that and work we stopped having fun so this understandably happened. Initially she just wanted a break, which is understandable, but I had never been in a situation like that before so I just kept bothering her and not giving her space to think and pushed her so far away. However, there was a breakthrough this past week. I was messing around on POF and I saw a ebook "Relationship Rewind", looked like it made sense, explaining the 4 stages of a relationship and how what to do for each step to get back to Bliss. Figuring my relationship was on death's door, I wrote her this email just telling her how sorry I was for what went down and that I've learned and changed for the better.(which I honestly have, I understand what needs to work in a relationship and also became more alpha). She didn't reply, but yesterday, I messaged her about this Christmas stocking my aunt gave me asking if I had left it at her house. I went out to eat for a bit so the AIM went off on my computer.

I come home and check out twitter. I see this post about how she doesn't have to worry about buying any Christmas gifts for anyone this year so she's having a huge Christmas party. I was so ready to just say f--k it, this program's a joke until I see she popped up on facebook. So I message her to ask if she saw the stocking, and I get a reply that she had messaged me on AIM, I must not have got the message. Then I just ask her how she's been, wasn't expecting a response but she did reply and we messaged for about 15 minutes. I was asking most of the questions mainly just asking about things she loves like her running and about her family and pets. Near the end of the convo, I told her I had to get my laundry(I would hardly ever do the laundry while we were together) and she did wish me good luck in my race Thursday(which she will be at). On a side note, I see she put a profile on match this morning which might actually help me too when all the local douchebags message her to no end and she goes out on crummy dates.

But I think I did well. I'll try talking to her on there a few more times and see where it goes. Hopefully set up a face to face and work from there. This IS the woman I want to marry. I'm continuing to meet new girls and even have a date tonight, pretty sure I'll post it on facebook that I'm going out to make it look even moreso that I'm not looking to get back with my ex to make her think that way...I hope this works out!

If you want her back, you need a. give her time to miss you, b. become more attractive personality-wise (she lost attraction for you if she left you). c. show her you DON'T need her. The best way to gain attraction and demonstrate non-neediness is to show her your happy without her. Maybe make her jealous as well. I would cut contact, start trying to date other girls or at least go out with FEMALE friends... then when you are doing that, take a few pictures with your female friends/dates and maybe upload them on facebook. Talk to other girls on facebook openly as well. Then after a month hit her up and ask how she's been. Then Ask her to hang out.

Oh well you are doing the rookie mistakes we have done, and learned from that.

You think you are differnet from the other guys that come here for help they also had a huge chemistry but sometimes they are things that is inevitable

Pleasureseeker has given good advice, you should follow them.

If you really want to lose her, go ahead , try and maintain contact, you will follow frienzone, in no time. And you will be a toy in her head, meaning all the respect and attraction she has will fall into no man land.

Cut contact... this will make her confused, she is not expecting this, what happened to him to stop communication, new girl? And maybe she will feel she have lost something.

Improve your overall game in general.

Go out have some fun.

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Oh! You've gotta be kidding me!

We broke up in July. I annoyed her for a good week after. Then saw her at my friend's wedding where I tried to get back w her out of desperation, then cut off contact after that. So it's been a good 3 months. She did have a relationship in that time with some guy who I guess f--ked her over in the end. I have dated other girls and have pictures of me w one on facebook along with wall posts and likes from other random girls. I think I'm doing this right.

Also wouldn't it be contradictory if right after talking to her again for the first time and having a positive interaction, I broke off contact? Like I mean maybe it f--ks with her head in some weird way and she has time to date and get annoyed by some of the local losers on match.com, helping my chances. I do have a sushi date tonight with this one girl, should I post about that on my facebook/twitter to cause jealousy?

love it how guys run and create all these games to get some girl back..

they want to invest a gazillion calories into getting her back and meanwhile it would only take you a few calories to get a new woman..

i have never been in love even after numerous relationships ... met a older woman lately and got really attached.. i let it go because i just knew it's all between my head. Even if you have a unexplainable connection - a soul connection like i had...just leave it be...

even tho i don't beleive what im saying because of my huge fucking ego i think this is true for me : i rather spend some time and have a awesome soul connection and losing that person so i can enjoy the experience and appreciate the memories .. instead of some ego - i run through all these shitty games to get her back and ruin my shit because my ego got in place..

you are thinking about how to impress her... you are thinking on how to get her back.. sounds like manipulation. don't do it to yourself man.. don't fucking change yourself into something you do not recognize.... That woman i was with, i felt myself getting attached and my ego in place - that's why i ended the ''relationship''.. dont let your ego wast some awesome experiences and memories you've had with her.

you are creating your own quicksand.. you are starting an obsession, you might as well end it now - do everyone a favor please....

so what if you want what im doing but you also want to get her back..

stop fucking stalking and manipulating her.. stop trying to act like hannibal from the A-team and stop creating these ridicilious how to impress plans... just invest in yourself, get better inner game.. just talk to her a few times and see where it goes.

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AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
questions about herbal medicine here-vp582526.html#582526

sounds like ONEITIS

get yourself together man

Guys, I go to bars around here, the casino, the places where I can find girls. My ex is a runner, I do the local races, scope out the hotties, have even gone out with a few. The problem is they don't compare to her. Like this is the girl I wanna marry and yeah I know I'm gonna get this don't be an AFC shit and being a pussy, but this is what I want in a woman! Actually did a Turkey Day run and saw her there, she was being the usual cunt she's been lately, noticed me but didn't acknowledge me. However her father was like my best buddy, chatting it up with me while waiting in line for the rest room then again after the race he found me and came over and was telling me good job and talking football and random things. It's obvious her daddy wants me to be back with her, does that help at all?

Ugh. Listen to yourself. I didn't bother to read your first post. But I take it you want to get back this girl that dumped you.

No, the fact that her father wants you to get back with his daughter doesn't help. IMO, the opposite is true. If 'daddy' is telling her to get back with you, she'll do the opposite just to annoy him.

Also, if it's been 3 months since you broke up, and still nothing has happened, chances are (95%) that you two won't get back together. You needed to come here and ask advice 3 months ago, not now. She already got fucked by someone else, and you said he played her? She's thinking about him (Alpha) not you (Beta/AFC)

You need to make her miss you, wonder about you. You're not doing this. Going to the races where she'll see you, posting shit on facebook? What are you 18? Act like a man, not a child. Remove her from your facebook account. That will make her wonder.
You fucking pussy. Listen to yourself! Snap out of it!

So I deleted her from fb and twitter..funny now since it's a bit of a curveball. I suggested we remain friends and suddenly I delete her..hmm. Can't stop going to races. They're my thing. I got her into them and all my friends are there. Actually I need to become the alpha of that group..all she is at those things is just another recreational runner. I dig the body of runner girls, the long toned legs do it for me..haha

[quote="billmincersucks"]So I deleted her from fb and twitter..funny now since it's a bit of a curveball. I suggested we remain friends and suddenly I delete her..hmm. Can't stop going to races. They're my thing. I got her into them and all my friends are there. Actually I need to become the alpha of that group..all she is at those things is just another recreational runner. I dig the body of runner girls, the long toned legs do it for me..haha[/quote]

once you delete a girl off facebook it's always over just focus on moving on at this point.

Sometimes I think after a bit of time in a relationship with a girl people forget that there are other amazing girls out there who may be better suited to you. Often this is compounded by a couple of bad dates that just fail to "match up" to the previous girly.
Truth be told there are lots of wonderful girls in this world, and really nobody is all that unique.
Trying to get an ex back is nothing more than a waste of time, though I'm sure it's something that we've all wasted time in trying to do at one point. I know I have, more than once. Never again though.
Once you realise, that you can try again, completely fresh, with someone totally new, every time that is necessary. You won't be afraid of losing someone, and you wont' need to ask how to get someone back. But chances are, they won't leave you anyway.

Wow this is scary.

Original poster - I'm on same boat, exaaactly the same boat. Been with my ex for 2 years, i was hers and she was my first long term relationship. We had awesomest times, towards the end she started going out too much, got shit load of attention, stress from exams, money etc etc and long story short instead of giving her space I "suffocated"(word she used) her. Eventually she broke up. She was an angel.

but people change, I found out she is seeing someone/sleeping with someone within 2 weeks. Crushed me. found out from her mates eventhough she put the reasons to breakup was me, but in fact it was because she felt she needed to get out and get more life experience/be with more guys.

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Amateur

T_M_G_3,
you're so right, thats the best piece of advice anyone's given me. Like honestly how many cute, long legged, athletic girls are there out in this world. She's not the only one. If I was good enough to get her even while being an AFC, well then I can find someone better.

Ok, a quick update. Thought I was done with that. Put up a status on facebook last night
"It's ironic that Hacksaw Jim Duggan and my ex could walk into a room with the same entrance music. What are the odds?"
Got a ton of likes and replies to it and today, she fucking poked me. (This is days after deleting her as a friend) I don't know what to think...but imma keep trying to sarge me some more ladies!