How should a PUA be in a realtionship????



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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2012 8:27 am 
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I've been into the PUA thing for a few years now. Worked hard and am getting okay...

I'm really blowing stuff in relationships, tho. :(


How the hell, once I get the girl, should I evolve myself? There is just not too much material on what to do AFTER one gets the girl. :(


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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2012 9:56 am 
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90% of the things you did to get her, are the same things you do to keep her.

Sticking points.

-Continue tob e active with your friends and hobbies. Don't let her become the show or priority.

-Hold your frame. You set the frame for the relationship in the first 2-3 months. Punish her for stuff se does bad, reward her for things sh does good. Like a puppy.

You got this man. The rest really is up to you.


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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2012 11:57 am 
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There is this book called: Train your girlfriend by Matt Huttson.

So many great things are in it to keep the girl attracted to you in a relationship and many things guys do wrong. It was a real eye opener for me!

_________________
Do not make external things like girls define your happiness or you will live a harsh life. Keep doing what you love and keep improving as a man.


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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2012 12:45 pm 
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To quote myself:
Quote:
Quote:
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requires most guys to overcome the social conditioning they have been indoctrinated with from a very young age. That's not so easy.

-Wolf
tips? :)
Well, I think the underlying reason this forum exists is to come together and figure out what actually works as opposed to what society tells us should work. For me, reading the forums has been a huge help (specifically, the old MASF relationship forums.. I didn't find this place until that one became a ghost town). Here's a list of some of the more influential posts (I am standing on the shoulders of giants):

http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php? ... -old-forum

Obviously, there is no magic bullet. Everybody's situation is a little bit different. What we DO know is that society is very bad at preparing guys to handle dating and relationships. That's why we're all here. So now what we have to do is figure out all our bad habits ("dumb-guy mistakes") and fix them. If I had to narrow down some core advice that I have internalized since joining this community it would be this:

1) Learn to screen. Personally, I like the "Freaks, Hoes and Good Girls" classifications that have been around for awhile. Different women look for different things in relationships. Learn how to spot the different types of girls and treat them accordingly. Don't try to have a serious relationship with a freak unless you really know what you're doing.

2) Learn how to lead. Be confident and make decisions whenever possible. Most girls are indecisive and hate being the ones to make decisions in relationships. Submissiveness is a feminine trait and being in a submissive role makes most girls feel sexy. Don't argue with your girlfriend. Guys handle conflict logically while women handle conflict with their emotions. Arguing doesn't work and it only rewards bad behavior by giving her your attentions (which is what girls want most). Either change her emotional state (ideally, by having sex with her) or, if she is in the wrong, leave or ignore her until she cools down. Never accept ultimatums.

3) Be congruent. Know what you want and act accordingly. Set up your expectations early and stick to them. If a girl is a FB, then don't treat her like a girlfriend. Don't lie. Lying is beta behavior. Don't promise monogamy if you don't intend on being monogamous.

4) Know that nothing lasts forever. Monogamous relationships are mostly set up to fail. When we first meet somebody who we are attracted to, our bodies release strong hormones / endorphins when we are around them. However, this effect mellows out over time. The strong reaction lasts a good 2-3 years.. more if you have kids (think "seven year itch"). Sure, some people get passed it and have life-long marriages, but it typically isn't their sexual passion keeping them together (it's common bonds and comfortableness.. you see this work really well with 2 people who are equally co-dependent). Be prepared.

5) Always bring your A-game to the bedroom.. always try and keep sex passionate, interesting and frequent. Mix it up as much as you can. Be dominant and don't be afraid to treat her roughly.. most girls love that stuff. Get toys and restraints and anything else you can think of to add some variety to your sex life. Do some research and learn how to make a girl squirt. Learn how to properly introduce and perform anal sex. Talk to her about sex and learn about her fantasies. Be the guy that allows her to fulfill those fantasies. Touch her all the time.. as often as possible.

6) Don't fail shit tests! Don't ever show jealousy (and/or just don't get jealous of other guys.. that's beta). Don't tolerate or reward bad behavior. Giving her attention when she acts out or picks a fight is BAD. Do, however, reward good behavior (this is part of leading well). Don't be that pussy-whipped guy who can never hang out with his friends. Don't be her psychologist or the one she constantly complains to (that's what her female friends are for). You should be the guy who makes her forget all the bad stuff.. a vacation from the troubles in her life. Avoid being around her when she's in a negative state and refuses to get out of it.

How is that for tips? If you want i can make a whole different post about all the BAD stuff society teaches us: That there's only 1 girl for every guy. That the best thing anybody can do is to settle down, get married and have kids (and live happily ever after). That woman need to be won and put on a pedestal. Guys should pay for everything. You need to be rich or famous to get lots of women. Non-monogamous relationships are weird and/or immoral. I could go on and on.

-Wolf
Also, click the links at the bottom of my post (about screening and bad behavior).

_________________
Screening: drama-free-relationships-1-screening-vt124827.html
Bad Behavior: drama-free-relationships-3-the-soft-next-vt125554.html


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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2012 9:54 pm 
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You say dont be the one she constantly complains too.... so what do you do when she starts complaining to you about things?


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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2012 10:06 pm 
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You say dont be the one she constantly complains too.... so what do you do when she starts complaining to you about things?
You give her a swift kick to the vagina!


Actually good question! I've been wondering this myself...I know that some of my mates always listened to their gfs complain about their problems and now they are engaged so it worked for them!


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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2012 10:08 pm 
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You say dont be the one she constantly complains too.... so what do you do when she starts complaining to you about things?
I think Wolf reffered to it as a Soft Next. read his links! :)


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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2012 10:14 pm 
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Youll have a lot more clarifty if you kind of establish what you want from her, not like sit down about your goals and priorities but like, once we have sex we kind of blank, men... So, if you're looking for ltr then you've got to make plans and see if she's going to live by your rules. That kind of renews the challenge.

You're not going to really understand each other or your relationship landscape until you actually start making the plans for yourself and seeing if and how she fits into them.

I kind of realized I don't really start to evaluate a girl until after we have sex. Before that everything she says is pretty much just a challenge for me to tell her why that means she should have sex with me. I'm not compromising myself I'm just not really looking for reasons why this won't work, that's her job. After, we start getting into conflicts, I want a cat, she wants a dog. I want to go fishing, she wants to shop. Then that kind of makes it or brakes it and we could just have sex but then we'd never really get any thing real out of each other. I think pickup actually goes against the goal because it gives you too much control, it's going to lead to a lot of passive aggressive behavior on her part. You are totally out of scope, read a relationship book.


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PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2012 2:31 am 
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Quote:
There is this book called: Train your girlfriend by Matt Huttson.

So many great things are in it to keep the girl attracted to you in a relationship and many things guys do wrong. It was a real eye opener for me!
Excellent book. It only took about an hour to read and is very informative.


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PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2012 2:51 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
There is this book called: Train your girlfriend by Matt Huttson.

So many great things are in it to keep the girl attracted to you in a relationship and many things guys do wrong. It was a real eye opener for me!
Excellent book. It only took about an hour to read and is very informative.
Yeah. looking for it on Amazon, in Kindle format..... :)

Thanks guys! great stuff!


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PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2012 7:05 am 
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"When it comes to relationships PUA's are retarded" -Comes from one of the 4 guys you see at the top of the website during one of my meetings with him but i dont want to say who

TIME!!! Time is the key to a successful relationship. All the things you do to game her like being unreactive and not showing too much interest are the exact opposite to what you want to do once in a relationship. And if you neg your girlfriend, your an idiot.

Make sure you maintain your inner values of being the alpha male, be sure to lead the interaction at all times, and spend time with her.

Keep in mind this is only if you really like her and actually want a relationship with her, and after you've had sex and she stops playing her games of "hard to get"

Be a man, step up, and be a dominating part of her life


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