Other guys from GFs past are blowing up her phone. Some are old BFs some are old flings. They come in in the middle of the night, and on our dates. She ignores them during those times but I don't know what she does when I am not around.

How do alphas handle this situation? Thank you

Blowing up her phone?
If that means calling her like crazy make a joke that would make them look stupid/tryhard like the second time they call.

start giving your number out to droves of girls, so they blow your phone up, see how she likes it.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

What is she supposed to do, block all their numbers? It is certainly not her fault that her exes are AFC chodes.

LOL Mack, sometimes I hope you're just being sarcastic, but something tells me you're not.


OP: if she is ignoring her texts and phone calls from exes, she's at least respecting your relationship. You don't have anything to worry about, so ignore it.

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- Lux et Veritas -

It depends how long you have been together. The thing is, when guys are trying to hook-up with a girl, they will only try for so long. If they continue to contact her over several months, she is cheating, or at least giving them enough attention to keep them interested.

I say trying to hook-up because you said they are calling her late at night, and she is ignoring it, so they are obviously not that good of friends.

I have known girls like this. They would ignore the call/txt while together, then the minute you are out of sight, she will be hitting them back. That is not respecting the relationship, that is being shady and dishonest. I would feel better if my girl answered it in front of me, at least I know she is not hiding anything.

Like I said, if she really doesn't want anything to do with her old "flings", they will eventually stop calling.

i'm gonna get flamed for this...

but men and women can't be friends, without eventually one wanting to fuck the other, if not both.

it's just the way it works.

if my girl wanted to hang around with dudes, i would break up with her and move on.

lol, let the flaming begin...

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

thanks guys. I definitely agree.

I would say just to ignore it.

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http://www.themodernfemme.com

Don't worry and definitely don't show that it winds you up in front of her. The only thing I would call her on is constantly playing with her phone. It pisses me off when people do that (male or female). You are out with them, giving them your time and attention, and they are sat playing with their phone.

A girl I've been seeing recently gets random texts from ex's and fuck buddies. I kind of defused the situation by bringing everything into the open. She reads and talks about her texts / calls. Likewise I talk about girls I meet and the girls calling me etc. We are completely honest and if anything knowing the other person has options keeps both of us on our toes. We each know the other is a desirable individual. We are not just together because they are the only thing we could get. We are both sacrificing other options for this. This definitely shows in the bedroom e.g.

With girl in bedroom and phone buzzes.
"Hey look I just got a booty call"
Text reply 'Something has come up, maybe next time baby'
We both laugh, then fuck each other's brains out.

I agree. And would also like to add that if a woman has a lot of single male friends, then they are made up of guys that have banged her, are banging her, and those which are trying to bang her. This a huge red flag, for the above reason, and also because it indicates she has a huge need for male attention, more than one man can give.


And to the original poster, there is no easy way to handle this and no alpha way to handle this. There is only the option to leave or give an ultimatum. If you can't deal with this problem, you might consider leaving, because this problem with happen again and again, and you will end fighting the same fight over and over, every time some ex decides to check up on her status.

As for the ultimatum, if you decide to stay, you must put your foot down and tell her to change her number or block their calls and texts somehow. This may make you seem weak, but you would also seem weak if you did nothing while other guys were trying to bootycall your girlfriend. It's a lose lose. And again, if your not that invested in her and it bothers you that much, you should probably find someone else, because this problem will never go away.

This is that grey area, where conquering one's insecurities meets upholding one's boundaries. You shouldn't be overly jealous, but you should enforce respectful behavior in a relationship. You shouldn't seem possessive, but you shouldn't allow inappropriate interactions with past partners. You shouldn't show you care too much, but you should care if you are being disrespected. It's a no win situation. Depending on interpretation, you are right and wrong no matter what you do.

It's an awkward situation and there is no easy answer to this.

well said!!!

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

Even when it IS true (i don't believe it is, cause i had many girl-friends which i didn't want to bang neither they wanted to bang me)

Can you, being in a LTR, prevent your GF from hanging out with other guys?

This will always be the case. Just to give an example. Imagine your girl is volunteering in a political party where a bunch of male guys are. Sometimes they go to recruit people together. Sometimes they have a drink. Etc.


I think you should draw the line between hanging out with guys and going to parties and get wasted with them.

Oh, btw. I completely agree that many girls need to hang out with dudes as a result of their low self-esteem.

This was exactly what my current GF did before i met her.

Now, being with her for about 6-months, I don't see her hanging anymore with guys and going to the club.

She even said to me "I just want to be good with you."


I think every girl deserves the chance to change and get attached to you.

What you are describing are acquaintances. Obviously women are going to have men in their life, that's not what mack 2.0 was talking about. He was talking about close male friends. The kind that talk on the phone, and text, and hang out, and discuss life, and other semi-intimate shit like that.

You have to look at the intention behind the relationship. If there is a reason why they are friends and hangout, like due to work or family or if they are part of a larger social group (like a fiend or relative of a friend); that's different. But I'd classify these as acquaintances, due to the lack of intimacy.

On the other hand, if it's just a guy and a girl, and they are close and have a history and trust each other and hangout with each other, and have fun together; they are eventually going to bang. They just need the right opportunity and moment. It's human nature. Eventually, one or both of them, are going to misinterpret the good feelings they get from hanging out together, and they are going to misinterpret the intimacy they share, and sexual attraction is going to kick in, and they are going to bang. And there is nothing wrong with that, it's human nature.

The question isn't "Why must they bang, if they are just friends?"
The question is "Why would two young attractive straight people, who like and trust each other, not have sex?" For what reason would they not want to? Obviously if one is ugly and there is no attraction, or if one or the other is in a committed relationship which they value, they might refrain. But other than that, isn't logical that if they are both horny or lonely, that they might turn to each other for sex?

Clart Kent and Lil' Jon know their shit. Listen to them.